


Almost A Shooting Star

by CarolinaCullen2012



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-12 05:03:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 81,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarolinaCullen2012/pseuds/CarolinaCullen2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward has had a guitar in his hands for a long time. He forms a band with a couple of guys from school and plan to move to LA when school is over. Will The Midnight Riders become famous? Or, will they just be a shooting star?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Down At The Whiskey

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.
> 
> Story inspiration the song 'Shooting Star' by Bad Company, and the movie 'Almost Famous.' Setting of this story is the early 1980s.
> 
> Song for this chapter – Down at the Whiskey- Motley Crue, I have the link on my Facebook page for those who would like to hear it. www dot facebook backslash groups backslash carolinacullenfanfictions
> 
> Warning: This story will have drug use, alcohol abuse, and graphic situations. Please be advised if this is not something you wish to read please back out now.
> 
> Thanks to dannibags for suggesting this story, for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Also, Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before its début.
> 
> This story will update once a month, I will try to make the updates around mid-month because of another story I started that will post at the first. So, be sure to follow at the bottom to receive notification of updates. ~Carolina

Chapter 1

"Down at the Whiskey"

The Gods of Rock–N-Roll inspired us: Clapton, Pete Townsend, John Bonham, Jimmy Page, Keith Moon, Pete Carr, Joe Perry, Ozzy Osbourne and Mick Jagger; I could list the greats all day long. We aspired to be just like them in every way, shape, and form.

My life had been planned from the moment I strapped a guitar onto my chest. The ultimate plan was to make it big someday, but that was the hard part. When I was a freshman at Forks High School, I soaked up every note and riff I could find. Learning to play by ear as I went and by the end of school that year,a couple guys and I started a band. Emmett played the drums, Mike played the bass, Garrett sang lead vocals, and I sang backup and played lead guitar.

At first, we were nothing more than a garage band at best. Not everyone had the drive and devotion that I did. Nevertheless, we practiced and worked as hard as we could. By the time we were juniors, we were so good that we played at local cafes and a couple of dances at the school. That was the year that our plans became more concrete. The plan after graduation was that the boys and I were going to head out to LA to see if we could finally get a shot at being famous.

Why wait until after graduation and not headed out now? Well, in case we didn't make it in LA, we would come home with our tails tucked between our legs, and go to college like we should have. That was the only way our parents would allow us to go. It wasn't the best plan, but it had potential.

We all got jobs after school, during the summer, and worked around our gigs. We practiced every chance we got. All the money we made working and the money from the shows went into a bucket at my house. We saved everything we could. The only way you were allowed to keep money out was for gas or something that couldn't be avoided; even that had to be approved by the other members of the band.

When my parents offered to buy me a car junior year, I declinedand asked that the money they would have spent on a car be placed in the bucket. They were reluctant at first, but once they saw how determined the four of us were, there was no stopping them from throwing their money in.

It was the last two weeks of our senior year when things started to take off. We booked a couple of clubs in Seattle and a good little buzz started about our band.

The crowd was intense that first night we played at club 'Twilight'. We had never played somewhere that wild and crazy before. The stage was huge and a cage wrapped around the entire thing, which I couldn't understand until the first band played. The crowd got rowdy and started throwing beer bottles at the stage while booing their performance. I was shocked at first, which brought my nervousness to the surface. I mean, what if they didn't like us? The cage might keep the beer bottles from hitting us, but we would still be covered in beer by the end of the night.

Right before they called us on stage the nerves of everyone hit an all time high. Garrett, the lead singer and main one who wrote our few original songs, was the first to suffer. We had started the intro to one of our originals when he ran to the back of the stage to puke. I didn't know what to do, but it was obvious that Garrett wouldn't be joining us for the first part. I motioned to Emmett to keep the drum line runningand nodded to Mike to keep playing. I stepped up to the microphone and belted out the first verse of our song.

I kept an eye on Garrett, and once he had calmed his body, he joined in on the second half of our song. We had only been scheduled to sing three songs. The first song went okay;everyone cheeredand no bottles were thrown. When I started the intro to 'Lunar Eclipse,' our second song, the crowd was loving it. They pulled out their lighters and waved them in the air, swaying their bodies to the beat. By the time the third and final song finished, the crowd was wild. The roar of the crowd was deafening.

At the end of the night, the manager came to us wanting to know if we would be interested in doing a set every Friday, and we jumped at the chance. However, having an every weekend performance would mean that we would have to quit our other jobs. Plus, we had only planned to stay in town for another two weeks, but it would depend. With us having a gig that was more permanent, we might be persuaded to stay in town just a little longer.

Things didn't work out like we had thought they might with the gig in Seattle. No sooner than our caps from graduation hit the ground, our bags where packed and we were LA bound.

I can still remember the day I left the house.

"Don't cry mama," I said to my mom as I hugged her for the seventh time.

"Please don't go," she said through her tears.

"Come Esme, let the boy go," Carlisle pled.

"Just smile and wave goodbye," I said wiping the tears from her face.

"Just wait ... I'm gonna be a big star someday, and this day will seem like nothing," I said trying to be positive about everything.

"I know baby. No mother wants to see the day when her child leaves the house for the first time."

She reminded me several times to change my underwear, to eat, and take care of myself. I smiled and pulled from her embrace. Once in the car, I turned around to see the smiling faces of my parents with tears in their eyes. I waved at them and pulled off for our long journey to LA.

It didn't really take that long for us to get to 'Sunset Boulevard'. The Sunset Strip was known to be the haven of several groups. The greats like Led Zeppelin, The Doors, and The Byrds were known to hang out at the places along the strip back in their day, while Motley Crue, Ratt, and Van Halen are lining up to play down at 'Whisky a Go Go'. The strip was one and a half miles that housed restaurants, bars, and clubs.

The boys and I were excited to be here, but tired from the trip and decided that first thing in the morning, we would start working on getting a couple of gigs in the area.

The main placed we wanted to play was at 'Whiskey a Go Go'; it was our first stop. If that didn't work, we planned on hitting up 'The Roxy', 'Pandora's Box', and 'London Fog.' After that, we didn't know where to go, but decided we would stick it out to the end.

We pulled into the Continental Hyatt house that we were staying at for the next couple of days. If we didn't get a gig soon, I didn't know where we would be staying after that.

After getting into our rooms, we walked down to the Rainbow Bar and Grill for something to eat. No sooner than the doors opened, I was stunned. There were celebrities and rockers alike all having dinner or drinking at the bar. We didn't move an inch, just stood there looking at everyone. We were officially in the heart of rock n roll.

One of the men from behind the bar ushered us in and sat us at a table. We didn't talk for a good ten minutes until one of the celebrities walked over to the table and welcomed us. After that, we were golden and ordered our meal. We finally worked up enough courage to talk to a couple of celebs and everyone was extremely friendly. It was like one giant party and everyone was friends with everyone. They even gave us some weed and told us where to go if we needed more.

While stoned out of our minds, we wrote the first chords and words to another song sitting on the steps of the Hyatt.

The following morning, we hit the pavement and talked to all the managers at the clubs on the strip. We didn't get a gig, and things really needed to shape up soon or we would be heading home, and not happily.

~AASS~

It took us a month to get to perform at 'London Fog' and we had already been living out of the back of Emmett's van for the last two weeks. We were hungry and dirty. The manager there was gracious enough to give us an advance on the show. This allowed us to head back to the Hyatt for a warm meal, a hot shower, and a warm bed for a week or two.

The following week, we did the concert and things went well, but nothing came of doing the show. The manager was mildly impressed and pushed for us to come up with more original material;being a cover band would only get us so far. He told us to come back when we had five original songs.

We worked and thought and when we weren't trying to write something, we were looking for something to eat or somewhere to shower again. It took us two fucking months to finally add three more original songs to our set. We walked back into 'London Fog' with our new songs, and had another appearance along with another advance payment.

Before the gig, we practiced, practiced, practiced, and then drank and smoked every drop of money up. So, doing the show was now the key to keeping us in LA longer. This time things went much better. We meet Jasper Whitlock. Jasper was the nephew of some big wig in the music industry.

After talking to him in the wee hours of the morning, we had a few more things to try. He used his contacts and was able to get us more shows; a couple at the Whiskey, one at the 'Troubadour', plus the three performances we now had at 'London Fog'. Things were starting to take shape with Jasper's managing skills.

Jasper also managed to get us in the recording studio with Aro Volturi, the producer of several popular bands. He saidit would be easier to promote us if we had something down so we could send things out to radio stations, and companies like RCA, Columbia, or any other recording labels there were.

We were all flying high from the news. And, to celebrate the good news we finally had, we partied like rock stars until the wee hours of the morning. Now, with a permanent place at the Hyatt and performances at all the local clubs, we were well on our way to fame.

I called my parent's once week to check in with them. When we learned we had to record an album, I called them to ask for the money. We should have had the money, but we burnt it all up in drugs and alcohol as fast as we were making it. About the only thing we managed to pay the entire time was the rent at the Hyatt.

~AASS~

We had spent a year out on the Sunset Strip, and all of us missed our families. So, we headed home for a while to get things settled. We all quit smoking and drinking long enough to visit. While home, I met Kate. She rocked my world in every way possible. When it came time to head back to LA, she jumped at the chance to come with us. She told her parents she was taking the year off from college.

It was great when we came back; we started out as the opening act at 'London Fog' like we had before we left to visit home. We finished laying down all the tracks to our first album. We were waiting to hear back from the record companies to see if any picked us up.

Jasper said that if the album took off that we wouldn't have to play at 'London Fog' any more. Apparently, the record executives weren't too impressed because we never heard anything back from them.

Jasper pulled a couple of string and at least got the radio disc jockey to play a couple of songs off our record at midnight. The first time our song played on the radio, the boys and I celebrated with five bottles of Jack Daniels and countless lines of coke in the bathroom.

Kate was great during the time we spent together while she waited to go back to college. She came to all the shows, cheered us on, cleaned up behind us, and made sure we all ate. We never did any kind of hard drugs in front of her, and I wanted to keep it that way. The boys even limited the amount of women they brought back to the Riot House. During one night of debauchery and a couple of pain pills, I married Kate. I don't think she was completely aware of the fact that I was higher than a Georgia pine, but I married her. We already had gotten the marriage license, but I was stalling. She wanted to get married, but I felt like she needed to go to school first. I wanted to see where my music career was going and if it took off. It wasn't like I was in a position to provide for her properly. Hell, I couldn't even take care of myself.

About three months into the marriage, the honeymoon phase was over. Kate stopped coming to the shows and wouldn't even clean up our messes any more. She constantly bitched about 'not being our mothers' and to tell you the truth, it got on my last nerve. But, I had a solution to the problem ... drink more and snort more coke. It seemed to make her voice disappear and she became tolerable again. Kate was a rich girl and felt she didn't belong out at clubs. Or, that's what she said one night during her tirade through the apartment. I would hate to know what she thought about being on the road. She left the following day heading home to attend college, but promised that once a month, she would come to see me. If something happened and we were on the road, she said she would meet where I was.

By the time fall rolled around, Kate had had enough and headed home to her parents. We stayed married, but she went home to go to college while I worked on being a rock star.

The band was starting to gain some notoriety from the couple of songs that had played during the day on the radio station. It was from then on that 'The Midnight Riders' became the house band at 'Whiskey a Go Go.'

It was during this time that Jasper schooled all of us boys on the groupies that would accumulate at the backstage door that we would enter and leave from every night. I tried not to pay them too much attention because I was married, but once the alcohol started to flow and the drugs came out to play, it seemed I didn't mind finding a little groupie love along the way. I figured Kate would never need to know. It wasn't like the others didn't have girlfriends of their own, but would still find a pretty little groupie to shack up with at night.

"There are two different types of 'groupies'," Jasper said standing against the apartment doors. We were watching the women down the hall with the other artists living at the Hyatt.

"Aren't the all the same?" I asked tipping the Jack Daniels up.

"No sir, some of them are different. See that group there," he said pointing to a group of women hanging around one of the drummers from another band in town.

"Yeah, what about her?" I asked handing him the bottle of Jack.

"She's never been here before and neither have her friends. I would be willing to bet she is a fan and looking to have sex with a rock star," he said handing the bottle of Jack back to me.

"How can you tell?" I asked perplexed at how he knew.

"Watch the women when they come around, listen to their words, and if you've never seen them here before, more than likely they are hook ups, just looking to say she fucked a rock star."

"Now, there are a select few that are actually groupies here, but you probably haven't noticed them," he said motioning toward another group of women.

"Those women are the best to have around."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because son, those women are not in it for the fame and they are not in it for the sex. They are here because they love the band. They're kind of like the girlfriend without the attachments; the mother's we all left behind. They will take care of your every need and then some;they truly love the music," he said walking away toward the girls at the end of the hall.

I slipped into a deep coma that night when I fell asleep.

~AASS~

Before we knew it, three damn years had passed, and life was going great. We had another album getting ready to hit. This time I didn't have to call my parents to borrow the money. The record company was footing the bill on the new record, and all the promotions for the album.

"All right boys, what do you say about going on tour?" Jasper asked walking through the door.

"Well, all right," said Garrett.

The rest of us whooped and hollered.

"All right," Jasper said motioning his hands for us to calm down.

"The tour starts in four days. You will be living on a tour bus;so make sure you pack everything you need. You will be touring the country as the opening act to AC/DC," he said; the whoops and hollers started again.

Finally, at the age of twenty-three, the band had finally made it somewhere. There wasn't any guarantee that it would lead to stardom, but we were better than we were when we first headed to LA.

For the next six-months, we would tour the US, with our last stop being in New York. We would be staying at the famous Gramercy Park Hotel. Another dream would be to see Max's Kansas City Diner. After the tour, we would be given a three-month break where we would get back in the studio to record our third album.

I called my mom to tell her the good news.

"We finally made it mom," I shouted into the phone, no sooner than she picked up.

"Oh, baby I knew you would," she said. I could hear the excitement in her voice.

"Carlisle, Edward said they made it," she said hollering at dad in the background.

"Seattle is one of the stops. Do you think you can come?" I asked looking over the itinerary of shows.

"Oh my gosh! Yes Edward, let us know and we will be there," she said.

I talked to my mother for a few minutes longer. I had to get off the phone; we had one more show at 'The Whiskey' before we pulled out tomorrow.

A couple of hours later, I climbed on the stage and played my heart out. Right before we took a break, I noticed a pretty little brunette at the back of the building. I didn't know who she was, but I had seen hera couple of times hanging out. She partied with a group of other girls and the others usually did things ... to help the band.


	2. What's Your Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter that I considered using– Fallen Angel- Poison, Into the Night- Benny Mardones, Seventeen-Winger, What's your name-Lynryd Skynyrd .
> 
> I have the links on my facebook page for those who would like to hear it:
> 
> www dot facebook dot com / Carolina Cullen 319
> 
> My blog on the story:
> 
> almostashootingstarcarolinacullen dot blogspot dot com
> 
> www dot facebook dot com / groups / carolinacullenfanfictions
> 
> Warning: This story will have drug use, alcohol abuse, and graphic situations. Please be advised if this is not something you wish to read please back out now.
> 
> Thanks to dannibags for suggesting this story for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before its début.

What's Your Name?

BPOV

I had been following the band 'The Midnight Riders' for a while now, but just hadn't gotten a chance to see them in concert. The first album they released was awesome, and I couldn't wait for more. When I heard they were headlining down at 'Whiskey a Go Go',I gathered the girls, and we headed down to the club to see them. While standing outside of the club, I overheard someone talking about the bands upcoming tour with AC/DC,I knew it was my moment to make my move.

"Did you get the 411?" Tinker Bell asked.

Tinker Bell was actually Alice Brandon. She and I were the same age and grew up together. Her home life wasn't much different from my own; so we bonded over a lot of the same things and fell in love with music together. It was our escape in life.

Home life, if you call a drunken mother and a pervert stepfather a home life, then that is what I had.

"Yeah, I heard. Are you going?" I asked.

Alice had left home last year and had been hanging out with a couple of different bands. We all lived and loved the music.

"Totally!" she replied.

"Sup home girls?" asked Rose Bud.

Rose Bud, also another nick name, was actually Rosalie Hale. Rose Bud was a little different from the rest of us. She didn't have parents who didn't give a shit. In fact, her parentswere the coolest of the bunch. They would provide her with money and allow her to leave. They were a part of a home school movement back in the sixties; they pushed for education to be returned to the home. So, Rose was home schooled, and as long as she did some sort of schooling every day, they were cool. They smoked dope with the rest of us, and always told us girls that you can learn more from living in the world than any institution can provide. They were crazy, but they allowed us to be us.

"Heard about the tour yet?" I asked. as Jessie Lee walked up.Jessie Lee was actually Jessica Stanley. Her parents stayed drunk all the timeand gave her hell about being out.

"You going?" she asked adjusting her shirt and pushing her breasts up.

"Yep, you?" I asked watching some guy pace at the backstage door. When McFly moved, I noticed the hoard of Biddies standing close to the door.

"Check this shit out," I said pointing at the girls. There was no way in hellI was letting those bimbettes in with our boys.

"To the curb," I hollered walking over to the group of girls with my gang behind me.

"Step off," one of the girls from the group said.

"Why are you here?" I asked for my hands on my hips.

"To see the band, same as you," the redheaded one replied. I knew her, Victoria;she always pulled the same shit. She wasn't here for the music; she and her group of biddies were here to bed a rock star. Then run around town to brag about how many rock stars they had banged, getting as much attention from it as possible.

"They won't sleep with the likes of you," Tinker Bell replied.

"Why not? They want someone like their mother to sleep with instead?" Victoria asked smiling.

"We take care of them. All they are to you is another notch on your bed post," Rose Bud yelled.

"Ladies ..." the bouncer came from behind the door "... Please leave." He motioned to Victoria and her little group of sluts to leave. Thank God, we knew the bouncer. We had been nice to him before, in order to get into the club. He wasn't letting anyone in yet, but wanted to move the arguing women from his back door. We walked back up the street, but I noticed McFly still pacing.

I moved away from the chatting girls and walked toward him. He was a tall fellow with dark brown hair and dark eyes.

"So, what brings you down here?" I asked.

"Looking for work," he replied quickly wring his hands in front of him.

"Well, what can you do?" I asked.

"A little bit of everything," he said timidly.

"Follow me," I said motioning him to follow me. I noticed the opening act headed toward the back doors and knew that I had to get us in there now. McFly didn't seem to be moving, so I reached over and dragged him by his shirt collar pulling him toward the doors.

All the girls made it in, and I pushed McFly in front of me This would ensure that he got in behind the scenes.

"Stay with me McFly, and we will find something for you to do," I whispered into his ear as I pushed him through the corridor.

It didn't take us long before we had found a place to hang, and it happened to be at the back of the club. The opening act was pretty good and really tore the place up with a couple of awesome songs, but when 'The Midnight Riders' climbed onto the stage, the crowd went wild.

They played 'Lunar Eclipse' and the room cheered;that song had gone straight to number one on the charts. The next song the crowd went nuts over was off the new album they recently released. It was 'Midnight Sunset,' which still sits at number two on the charts. It been there for the past two months, and it was just a matter of time before that went to number one also.

The girls and I sway to the beat of the music and dance with one another, but it's the lead guitarist that caught my eye every time I looked at the stage. When he would get an intense look on his face as he played his solos, it had me melting to my knees. He was deviously handsome with tattoos running down his arm and wild copper hair on his head that looked like he recently rolled out of the sack. He had broad shoulders and a lean frame. Everything about him called to me. He looked like he oozes sex out his pours. He enchanted me with his emerald eyes; they pierced my soul every time he looked in my direction.

I wanted more out of him than the others here would want. I wasn't looking for fame or the glory of screwing a rock star. No, I wanted to take care of him, to listen as he prattled about his music, be his muse, and his lover. I wanted to be anything he wanted me to be. It was the music that drove me in his direction, and the music I wanted to inspire him to write.

After the set was over, the girls and myself with McFly in tow headed over to 'The Midnight Riders' manager.

"Well, what do we have here?" he asked looking us up and down.

"We are the 'Love Bands'..." I motioned to all of us girls "... we love the band, their music, and would love to come on tour with you."

"Is that so?" he asked looking at us.

"Yes," I replied.

"Welcome to the tour ..." he said smiling "... I'm Jasper Whitlock, manager of 'The Midnight Riders'."

"I'm Izzy Swain," I said holding out my hand and pointed to each of the girls,telling him our names. I noticed when he landed on Tinker Bell, he lingered a little longer than normal.

He showed us around and introduced us to everyone in the band with the exception of Edward, the lead guitarist. I was disappointed he wasn't around, but Jasper said he had to pick up a box of T-shirts the record label had sent to sell. Jasper talked Tinker Bell and Jessie Lee into selling the T-shirts to the crowd before they left for the night.

"Jasper," I said getting his attention again.

"Yes, darling?" he asked.

"I was wondering, are you in the need of a stage hand or anything that this fella can do?" I asked pointing to McFly behind me.

"Well, we might be in the need of something. It seems that this tour has come up unexpectedly, and I don't have enough man power for this crew of misfits."

"See I told you to follow me and maybe I could find you something," I said looking over at McFly.

"Do you have a name?" Jasper asked looking at the boy behind me.

"Jacob Black, but everyone calls me Jake," he said reaching out his hand for Jasper to shake. I didn't even notice Edward until he cleared his throat.

"Who do you have here, Jasper?" he asked smiling at me.

"This is Izzy Swain and the fellow behind her is Jake. He will be helping us out during the tour," Jasper said.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Edward said extending his hand to shake mine. I reached out, and as our hands touched, the electric shock I received from his fingertips caused me to gasp. I couldn't help but stare into his eyes. I was caught in his gaze.

"Well, while you two get acquainted, I am going to take Jake here for a tour," Jasper said. I didn't even break away from looking at Edward as the pair left us standing there in our own little bubble.

We didn't let go of one another's grasp and we didn't look away, until Tinker Bell came along and pulled me away from him. She bounced up and down talking a mile a minute and didn't even notice the two of us standing there.

"I can't wait to go on tour with them," she said.

I didn't reply, but Edward noticed her, and I saw his eyes shift in her direction. I followed suit and did the same thinglooking right at her. I narrowed my eyes, because I didn't interrupt her little moment with Jasper when they first met.

"Oops," she said giggling.

"Edward, this is Tinker Bell. One of the 'Love Bands'," I said introducing the meddler to the sex God.

"Nice to meet you," he said still not letting go of my hand.

"What's Love Bands?" he asked looking back at me. I was so caught up in his gaze that Tinker Bell had to answer him, and I tuned everything out around us. His piercing green eyes had bewitched my soul and held me captive. I couldn't break his stare or hold on my hand.

It was Tinker Bell who had to shake me from my stare and hold. She pulled on my arm and led me out from the backstage area.

"So, the plan is to meet up tomorrow night and head out with the guys," she said as she dragged me back to the front of the Whiskey.

"Where are we meeting?" I asked; after meeting Edward, there was no way I was going to miss going on this tour with them.

"Rose's house... five o'clock," she said walking away from me out the doors.

Jake walked up beside me.

"You coming with us?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll meet up with everyone tomorrow. Things go well with Jasper?" I asked.

Jake made me think of the brother I never had, and I wanted to help him as much as I could.

"Well, I gotta go, but I'll see ya tomorrow," he said walking away from me backstage.

I slowly made my home from the Whiskey, only to be confronted by Renee at the front door.

"Where the hell have you been?" she slurred.

"Out," I said heading straight to my room.

"You listen to me young lady. You will stop hanging out with those rock stars; all they'll get you into is trouble."

"Whatever," I said slamming my bedroom door.

The only time Renee wanted to play mother was when she was drunk. Any other time she was flighty as hell. She was so forgetful and careless that she lost me in multiple stores when I was younger, and when she started drinking, I would sit on the barstool beside her. She couldn't even remember to tie her own shoes. I had to take care of everything around the house: cooking, cleaning, laundry, and paying the bills. I'd grown up well before my timeand didn't need her telling me what to do. I had made things around her work for years, and trust me it wasn't easy. If it wasn't for Charlie's child support, we wouldn't have had anything. Thank God, he was a good man and paid.

When Phil came along, things changed for a little while. Renee worked hard at making him want her, and when he was hooked, she turned back into the same Renee I knew from long ago. Phil was a creep though. He always looked at me weird, and the older I got, the weirder he became. He was constantly trying to corner me in the house and touch me. I didn't like him, and with me getting older, I knew it was time for a change. The tour had come at the perfect time because Phil had started trying to get into my room at night, and it was time to go.

I locked my door, changed into my pjs, and fell onto my bed to dream about the green eyes that stole my heart with one look.

~AASS~

I woke the next morning with Phil standing over my bed. I screamed, but he was quick to put his hands over my mouth.

"Shh, don't wake up Renee," he cooed sweetly into my ear as he leaned down over top of me.

"You're such a beautiful girl," he said rubbing his hands up and down my thighs. I squirmed around trying to get away from him, but couldn't.

"Tonight you will be mine," he said licking his lips. He leaned down and licked the shell of my ear.

"Tonight," he said again removing his hand. I didn't move and watched as he walked out the door. Once he was gone, I jumped up and quickly packed my clothes.I didn't have much, but I packed it all. There was no way I was coming back here. After the tour, I would figure out where to go, but this would be the last time I saw Renee and Phil.

I crept through the house and took the last little bit of money that was left in the jar in the kitchen. I figured Renee and Phil could figure out what to do after I was gone. I walked past a passed out Reneeand into the street. I decided that the first pay phone I saw, I would call Tinker Bell or Rose to come and get me.

It didn't take long before I found a phone and called Rose.

Rose pulled up moments laterand drove us to the Rainbow Bar and Grill for something to eat. As we were sitting down, Tinker Bell walked in with Jake in tow.

"What's up bitches?" she asked sitting down.

I looked over at Rose and shook my head. I had told her about what happened with Phil, but I didn't want her saying anything in front of Jake.

"Nothing much," I said giving Tinker Bell the look. I knew if she saw it she would know that something was up, but she would wait until I was alone with her to tell her what was going on.

I looked over at Jake; he looked like he was tired.

"Are you tired?" I asked.

"Yeah, Jasper put me on Edward detail last night. Garrett and Edward had words over the shirts, and Edward left."

"Huh, where did he go?" I asked curious.

"He went back to the riot house for a while, but he then ventured to a party in Beverly Hills. I had to leave him there this morning," he said shrugging.

"What?" I screamed.

"I had to leave him. He's passed out on the front lawn naked," he said.

"Shit," I said packing my food. There was no way with Edward as fair skinned as he was would be able to take the California sun while lying on someone's lawn. I walked to the door and noticed I was alone. I turned around and noticed that everyone was still at the table.

"Move your asses! He will burn in the damn sun," I screamed at them, and they rushed to my side.

We stopped by the riot house and picked up Garrett and Emmett. Jake told them everything that had happened last night, and I was laughing my ass off at the things that Edward had done during the night.

It didn't take us long to locate the house where they had partied at. Edward was still sprawled out in the yard. He was laying face down on the ground. His back had already begun to turn red, and I was worried that he was going to be burnt to a crisp if we didn't get him out of the sun soon. Garrett and Emmett walked over to Edward, while Jake went into the house to get him some clothes or something to drape over him.

"What?" Edward yelled.

"Get the fuck up man," Garrett said to him.

"Fuck you, Garrett," Edward said.

"Man, you're passed out on someone's lawn. I'm quite shocked the neighbors haven't called the law yet."

Edward lifted his head up and looked around.

"Shit!" he said moving to get up.

"I'd stop if I was you man," Emmett said putting his foot on Edward's back holding him down.

"Get the fuck off of me man," Edward yelled.

"Get up if you want, but you're going to show Izzy the goods man," Emmett said snickering.

"I don't give a fuck what she sees. She shouldn't be hanging out with rock stars if she doesn't want to see dick swinging in the air," he said smiling into the grass.

"All right man," Emmett said pulling his foot off Edward's back. Edward pulled himself up and stood, tall and erect.

Oh my God, I gasped throwing my hand over my mouth. He was huge, big like bigger than I had ever seen in my entire life. I couldn't help but look at it. How in the hell did he? Shit, I had to stop thinking about his manhood.

"She's speechless man," Emmett said laughing.

"It has a tendency to reindeer all women speechless, Emmett," he said winking at me. Jake came out of the house carrying a sheet and wrapped it around Edward's shoulders. I watched as all the men walked to the van. I had been standing on the side of the lawn watching everything happen in front of me.

"Apparently, she's motionless too," Emmett laughed. His booming voice broke me from my frozen stance. I strolled over to the van and got in with the boys.

We had left the girls at the riot house, and Emmett had driven his van. Edward sat in the front seat and didn't say a word the entire way to the Hyatt. Everyone went their own way when we arrived. It wasn't long before everyone was ready to board the tour bus. Everyone was boarded except for Edward. When he arrived, he still looked pissed. He sat in the front seat by himself.

"So, tell me about yourself," I said to Jake who was sitting beside me.

"There's not much to tell you really," he said.

"There's not much about me either, but I want to know."

"I'm fifteen," he said.

I couldn't believe he was only fifteen; he looked to be about seventeen or something.

"How old are you?" he asked.

"Does it really matter?" I replied.

"No not really, just wondering," he said.

"Old enough," I said.

"So, what about your parents?" he asked.

"My mother is a drunk and don't know where my father is," I said.

"My mom died some years ago, it's just dad and my sisters."

"How many sisters do you have?"

"Two,they're twins, Rebecca and Rachel," he said.

"How did your mom die?" I asked.

"Car accident, but I don't like to talk about it much."

Jake and I were silent for a while and didn't talk, but then out of the blue, he told me all about his mother. I felt honored that he told me about her, but saddened about his life. It seemed that Jake was trying to find ways to make money. He was trying to help take care of his crippled father, who had been in the accident with his mother. He was the youngest of the children, and the girls had dropped out of school to work to help make ends meet too.

I rested my head on Jake's shoulder and fell asleep. I didn't know what this tour would bring, but I hoped it was life changing. I was tired of the same old song and dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All right guys ... another instalment here. Remember this is a slow updater being that I am writing two others at the same time. This chapter we learned about Bella and a little about Jake. Edward and Bella meet and the fireworks are about to start flying. For the record, Bella is seventeen and yes somewhere down the road Edward and she will be sleeping together. Remember, the large age difference was common back then also, I like to keep my stories as true to the time as I can. So, if you want to back out now please do. I don't want reviews complaining about their age difference, Capise. As always, be kind and show some love.


	3. Flirting with Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward officially meets Izzy Swain for the first time and we find out what he is thinks about her. There is a little drama with Garrett because the record label is determined to make Edward the front man of the group. After a big confrontation with Garrett ... Edward goes on a rampage through the Riot House. What do you think he will do?

Flirting with Disaster

EPOV

Jasper asked me to get the boxes of T-shirts Ronny was holding at the bar. I rushed to get them because I was hoping to see that pretty little brunette when I went out there, but all I saw was the usual crowd of women. When they saw me, it was all I could do to finally break away from them. No one minded that I was married or that I wasn't interested. They all still tried never the less. The funniest thing happened to me while getting the shirts, a mother daughter team tried to persuade me back to their room at the Riot House, but I wasn't interested. That seemed a little to odd to me.

I gathered the boxes and quickly headed backstage. Once I was passed Felix, I was free of being bothered. No one could get passed him that shouldn't be and that was the way I liked it. I often loved the idea of privacy because the more we recorded songs and popular we became, it seemed that our privacy was slowing flying out the window before our eyes. When you can't take a piss without someone taking pictures or asking if you want to fuck them, the little bit of privacy you can get is a privilege.

I rounded the corner when I noticed Jasper talking to the pretty little brunette, and quickly detoured to where he was. I was supposed to take the boxes back to the dressing rooms, but he had something I was interested in his presence.

"See I told you to follow me and maybe I could find you something," she said looking at the boy behind her.

"Do you have a name?" Jasper asked looking at the boy.

"Jacob Black, but everyone calls me Jake," he said reaching out his hand for Jasper to shake. No one even noticed me approaching their little conversation until I cleared my throat getting everyone's attention.

"Who do you have here, Jasper?" I asked smiling at the little brown-haired girl.

"This is Izzy Swain and the fellow behind her is Jake. He will be helping us out during the tour," Jasper said.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I said.

No sooner than our hands touched, I received an electric shock. Izzy must have felt it too because she gasped as soon as our hands connected. I was so lost in her deep chocolate pools that I tuned everyone out around me except her.

"Well, while you two get acquainted, I am going to take Jake here for a tour," Jasper muttered.

I couldn't let go of her and I couldn't look away. There was something in those eyes, which keep me glued to her face.

I stood there for what seemed like forever lost in her gaze. It wasn't until I noticed irritating bouncing black hair that I saw the little woman beside us. I watched her out of the corner of my eyes still unable to fully pull away from the trance I was under.

"I can't wait to go on tour with them," the little dark haired girl said.

My eyes shifted in her direction. I wished for a brief moment that I had something to nail her in place with. All her dancing around was starting to get on my nerves, not to mention the fact I had yet to say anything to Izzy about us hanging out.

"Oops," she giggled.

"Edward, this is Tinker Bell. One of the 'Love Bands'," Izzy said motioning toward the woman beside us, who was still twirling around.

"Nice to meet you," I said still not letting go of Izzy's hand.

"What's Love Bands?" I asked looking back to Izzy. I was hoping she would have answered, but it seemed that Tinker Bell was the first to jump in with answers. I tuned her out and focused on the lovely beauty in front of me.

Tinker Bell pulled on Izzy's hand until we finally broke apart. I watched in awe as the two women walked away from me toward the front of the bar.

I stood still in my spot until the girls has disappeared through the doors. I could still feel the tingling in my fingers from our touch. I had never experienced something like that before in my life. I gradually gave up hope she was coming back and headed toward the dressing rooms to the others.

Jasper had collected the boxes as he walked off and as I entered the room, I heard Garrett ranting about the shirts. I stood still listening as he talked. I never wanted the record label to place me as the front man in any of the things they shipped to us to market. I never wanted to be the face of the band, but somewhere along the way, the record label decided that was what was best. I had never seen where the lead guitarist was the front man. Nine out of ten times, it was the lead singer. Even if he or she didn't contribute in the writing of the all the songs, they were always the face of the band. That's the way I wanted things. When we went to photo shoots however, they would always put me in front. Garrett would bitch with the photographer and several others shots would be done. But, when the shirts or posters came out, it was always me.

I took a deep breath and opened the door to welcome the shit storm I was walking into.

"You," Garrett yelled.

"Why do they continue to put you as the front man of this band? You contribute when the mood takes you ..." he raised his hands to make quotation marks "... you're the moodiest person I have every meet when it comes to dealing with people," he said.

"Here we go," I said getting frustrated already, and I had just barely made it through the door.

"You don't like dealing with the public, but yet they continue to make you the face of it."

"I don't want this, Garrett. You know this. I have begged the photographers and the record label to stop, but they won't," I wailed.

"We started this together," he exclaimed.

"We should all be equals in this band, but no. The record label continues to make you the lead."

"I can make an audience crumble at my knees with one fucking word. Emmett can drive the beat right through women causing their hips to sway in ways that should be illegal. Mike can point his bass at them and have them cuming in their panties by holding a note a little longer. We all contribute to this band and should all be recognized by the label."

"Fuck you, Garrett. You're pissed at me and it's not my fault," I screamed.

"Yes, we all know you never asked for the record company to make you the poster boy for this group," Garrett patronized.

"You know what?" I asked.

"What you're going to quit again?" Garrett asked.

"You have quit so many times, it isn't funny," he sneered.

"Yeah, well good luck on the tour without me. Let's see who they pick this time," I said flipping him the bird and walked out the door. I wasn't going to stand around and listen to him whine about the shirts.

None of us could help the fact the record label kept doing it. Hell, they always put us in a line. I never asked to be the front man. I started the band, but I didn't for one minute think I deserved all the credit. Garrett, Mike, and Emmett should have received as much praise as me. Hell, I figured they would go with Garrett anyway because he was the lead singer.

I was tired of the drama and the arguments with Garrett and the record label. It wasn't getting us anywhere. Why couldn't we ride this thing out? We still weren't big time after two records. We weren't guaranteed anything. We were an opening act for fucks sake, not the main attraction.

I made my way out of the Whiskey and up the street.

"Edward!"

I turned around to see the kid that was with Izzy earlier.

"Hey wait up," he called.

I stopped, but didn't want to. I knew that one of the guys probably sent him to babysit me. I didn't want to be babysat. I was twenty four and able to be out on my own.

"What do you want?" I asked already knowing the answer. I already didn't like this kid.

"Look, Jasper sent me to keep up with you tonight. I need the money he offered me; just let me tag along," he said.

I didn't know what the kid's deal was or why he wanted to be a part of the group per se, but I didn't want to be mean to him. He wasn't the reason Garrett and I had a fight.

"Fine, but don't tell me what to do," I stated.

I made it to the Riot House, and instead of heading to my room.I went all the way to the top. The top floor always housed the bigger rockers around the Hyatt. They partied harder, did harder drugs, and rocked harder than any of us on the lower floors. The whole building was practically full of artists. The signed musicians housed the tops floors, actors and actress in the middle, and us beginners on the bottom. Everyone gathered at the Riot house to promote our craft, no matter what it was.

Someone walked by, and I quickly followed them down the hall. It wasn't like it was closed off or anything. Hell, they partied in rooms, halls, and out on the terrace; pretty much any area was free game.

"Edward Cullen," Vince yelled from the room I walked by. I backed up and walked into the room.

"What's up man?" I asked. We embraced, barely, in one of those guy hugs where it's one half of your body and it's almost like you are arm wrestling at first.

"Not much. How are things down at the 'Whiskey'?" he asked.

"Good ... great actually. We are going on tour tomorrow. Opening for fucking AC/DC man," I blustered.

"Man, that's fucking awesome. We're in town for a couple of days. Figured we would hang out here for a little while. Nikki's down in room eleven o five with some heroin, if you're interested. Tommy has a couple of groupies in the back, but we wouldn't mind sharing with you guys," he said laughing.

"I might find Nikki after a while, but I doubt the girls will pull away from Tommy," I snickered. All the boys in his band were the major partiers and the life of the party. Nikki always had the best hook-up on the drugs, Vince had the women and the booze, Tommy was a little of everything and women was his main ingredient, and Mick ... he was a quiet one. I had heard rumors that he was a very different person outside the music world, but everytime I saw him, he was watching everything go on around him.

Vince offered me something to drink, and it wasn't long before the party was in full swing. I saw Nikki and he gave me a couple of lines of coke to get my system going. Hell, I got to thinking about the damn fight with Garrett and the band again and with the coke in my system, I started really trashing the place. Of course, no one really cared, and when I threw the TV out of the window of the Riot house, the whole damn room roared in applause.

"Edward," Jake shouted.

"What?" I turned around to look at him.

"Man, you threw a TV off the balcony; they're going to kick you out of here."

"Vince," I yelled.

"Yeah," he yelled.

"Do you give a fuck that I threw the TV out the window?" I asked pointing behind me at the balcony where I had pitched the TV out moments ago.

"Hell, no! They expect us to do something crazy. Live it up man," he said shooting me the universal rock and roll sign. The thumb slightly bent in index finger and the pinkie standing straight out with the other fingers bent, devil horns.

"See no one cares," I said looking over at Jake.

I headed out of the room, looking to find Nikki for another bump. Once I had successfully gained another level of highness,I stumbled from room to room. One room had two girls fucking each other. I stood there for a long time with my dick as hard as steel watching them finger one another. I reached down grazing across my crotch. God, how I wanted to get laid? Kate had been gone for months, and I wouldn't touch the groupies running around the Riot house. Hell, they slept with the whole top floor and then some. I wasn't about to stick my dick into someone else's waste pool.

"Edward, we need to go," Jake said pulling on my arm.

"Yeah, but God look at them go," I said motioning to the girls in front of me.

At this point, it was getting wilder in that room and both girls were now eating one another. Holy shit! I couldn't stop looking.

"As much as I love this scene in front of me, you have a tour that starts tomorrow, and it is my job to make sure you are on the tour bus," he said. Fucking buzz kill. I walked down to the elevator with my chaperone in tow, and pushed the down button. He thought I was going to go willingly, but what he didn't know was I had plans. I was amped up and ready to fucking party.

I hit every button on the damn elevator allowing it to stop at every floor, and when we arrived at the first level, I hit all the buttons and hopped off the damn thing waving as the door shut on Jake. It would take him another thirty minutes to find me, and that would be enough time to hit the bump of coke Nikki gave me for the road.

After taking the hit, I walked out onto the sidewalk seeing Tommy with his Harley sitting right at the doors.

"That thing is fucking sweet," I said looking over the Limited Confederated Edition Sportster in front of me. I had always wanted a motorcycle.

"She's a fucking beaut ... you wanna ride her?" Tommy asked dangling the keys.

"Hell yeah," I said straddling the massive machine.

"You do know how to ride a motorcycle?" he asked raising his eyebrow at me.

"Of fucking course," I said.

I had ridden many dirt bikes when I was a kid, and tearing through the trails of Washington was often fun, as long as you didn't run into trees.

He handed me the key. I started the beast up and listened to her roar to life. The vibration through the bike was fucking awesome, and I had heard that women could get off just by riding a Harley. I someday wanted to test that theory. I knew it wouldn't be with someone like Kate though. She wouldn't dare park her sweet ass on this thing, but maybe someone like Izzy would. I would have to think about getting one, and then getting her on it just to see if it would make her kitten purr. Hum, I thought of her wet pussy straddling my back and my bike vibrating between her legs, getting her all hot and bothered, before I pulled over to fuck her bent over the side. Now, that was a visual I hoped to actually see one dayand hopefully soon.

I kicked the gearshift and held the powerful bike between my legs. I used my right hand to control the throttle and revved the engine up just a little. I pulled out and things were going great as I rode down the strip a piece and came back to the Hyatt. Only problem was I wasn't done riding yet. I drove through the doors of the Riot House as Jake stood to the side to allow me access. It was a good thing he did too otherwise,I might have run over him and a couple other guests. I weaved in and out of the halls of the Hyatt. I finally returned to Tommy and his women in front of the Hyatt and let him know how much of a sweet ride she was. He chuckled and told me when I got my own to come out and ride with the crew sometime. I promised he would be the first one I called.

They all left, and I was alone in front of the hotel. When a bunch of boys walked by talking about a party out in the Beverly Hills, it was at that moment that I wanted a change of scenery. I hollered at the boys and asked if I could come along as Jake walked out of the hotel again looking like he was out of breath. I wondered if he had been trying to chase me around the entire hotel.

"Where the fuck are you going now?" Jake yelled trying to catch up to me and the boys.

"Beverly Hills," I replied a little too cocky. I climbed into the back of the van with the boys, and Jake quickly boarded too.

Within minutes, we were sitting in front of this huge house, and the party apparently was in full swing from the looks of things. It didn't take me long to climb out of the van and head straight in.

"That's Edward Cullen," I overheard a couple of girls whispering as I walked in.

"Holy Fuck, you're Edward Cullen from The Midnight Rider's" said a boy holding a red solo cup.

"Yep,"I replied.

"Dude, do you want a drink? A toke off a blunt? Anything you want, you got it. You're like my fucking idol."

I took him up on everything he was offering. I drank a good bit of beer, downed a half a bottle of Jack, and snorted a couple of pills. I was fucking flying high. Everyone there loved me as a rock star, and over half of the group thought I was they're idol.

When I saw the swimming pool out back, I knew I had to take a swim, but first I needed to do something. I wanted to let them know that I appreciated their praisesand loved the damn attention. I climbed onto of roof of the porch that overlooked the pool area. I stripped off my clothes, throwing them down on the ground.

"Everyone," I yelled.

"You people are fucking awesome, and you make me feel like a fucking Golden God with your praises," I said. The crowd below roared with hollers and screams of affection. I jumped from the roof, landing in the pool below. I swam to the edge and barely climbed out as everyone started to jump in onto of me. A couple of people clapped me on the shoulder as I walked to the front of the house. I tripped over something in the yard and couldn't get up.

~AASS~

I felt like I was burning up inside and out, and couldn't seem to get myself awake from the dreams I was having. I vaguely heard Garrett's voice and for a brief moment, the burning on my back stopped. I felt someone's boot in the middle of my back.

"What?" I yelled.

"Get the fuck up man," Garrett said.

"Fuck you, Garrett," I said.

"Man, you're passed out on someone's lawn. I'm quite shocked the neighbors haven't called the law yet."

I lifted my head up and looked around.

"Shit!" I said moving to sit up.

"I'd stop if I was you man," Emmett said putting his foot on me holding me down.

"Get the fuck off of me man," I yelled.

"Get up if you want, but you're going to show Izzy the goods man," Emmett said snickering.

"I don't give a fuck what she sees. She shouldn't be hanging out with rock stars if she doesn't want to see dick swinging in the air," I said smiling into the grass. I wanted to show her what I was packing. Usually when girls saw the snake I walked around with, they were begging for me to help them out. And, right now would be a good time. He was standing at full attention, being that I had to piss like a Russian race horse.

"All right man," Emmett said pulling his foot off my back. I pulled myself up and stood, tall and erect.

I looked over at Izzy, and she gasped throwing her hand over her mouth.

"She's speechless man," Emmett said laughing.

"It has a tendency to render all women speechless, Emmett," I said winking at Izzy. Jake came out of the house carrying a sheet and wrapped it around my shoulders. I walked toward the van and turned around to see that Izzy hadn't moved a muscle.

"Apparently, she's motionless too," Emmett laughed.

I shrugged and watched as Izzy finally broke from the spell my magic dick had placed on her. I hadn't even touched her with it, and she was already acting like I had rocked her fucking world and she was stunned.

We all loaded up in the van and headed toward the Riot House. I sat in the front seat and didn't say a word the entire way. I went to my room to shower and get my things together to leave. It wouldn't be long before the tour bus was here to pick everyone up.

A couple of hours past and everyone loaded on the bus. I didn't want to sit with the others. I was still pissed at Garrettand decided to sit in the front of the bus. When I boarded, I noticed Izzy sitting in the back with Jake. I didn't like it at all. She would have been the one I would have loved to sit with during this ride, but apparently I wasn't early enough to get the spot beside her.

I pulled the pill bottle out of my pocket and popped a couple of pills to take the edge off riding. Our first stop was Seattle, Washington. I planned on meeting up with my parents and had already talked to Jasper about getting them tickets toat least see the boys and me play. I didn't know if they would stay to see the main act, but it didn't matter. After the show, I was going to go out to dinner with them. I called Kate before I left, letting her know I was going to be in town, but shecouldn't break from studying to come and see me.

I didn't really give a shit that she couldn't come. Hell, I was shocked she was actually home when I called. She had been so busy in the last couple of years that I did good to talk to her at all. Half the time I didn't even realize that we were still married. I wondered if she even rememberedbecause things sure didn't seem that way.

I slept the entire way to Seattle. We pulled up to the hotel and Jasper rented the girls a separate room, and I was forced to share a room with Garrett for this stay. I knew Jasper did it on purpose to get us to talk, but there wasn't anything to talk about. It wasn't my fault the record label continued to place me as the front man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All right another instalment to my Rockward. So, Edward is like John Bonham, Nikki Sticks, Keith Moon, and the Terror Twins (Phil Collin and Steve Clark) all rolled into one. Edward and Izzy will have another moment soon, and remember she is younger so if you need to back out ... now would be the time. As always be kind and review.


	4. He's So Shy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – He's So Shy by Pointer Sisters. 
> 
> Warning: This story will have drug use, alcohol abuse, and graphic situations. It will also delve into underage sex. Bella will be seventeen and Edward is twenty-four. Remember this story is about becoming famous, and people that follow them around while on tour. Please be advised if this is not something you wish to read, please back out now.
> 
> Thanks to dannibags for suggesting this story, for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before its début.
> 
> Bella and the girls have a little fun at Jake expense and we see what happens when two people finally collide.

Chapter 4

He's So Shy

BPOV

~Seattle, Washington

We climbed off the bus in Seattle, Washington, the first state on the tour. I stretched my arms over my head. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as both Jake and Edward watched as my shirt rode up, exposing the pale skin of my stomach. I hid behind my sunglasses and walked away from the both of them. Boys were so typical. The only one I noticed not watching the moves us girls made was Mike. Huh, that was an interesting situation because Rose Bud always turned heads when she bent over.

I walked over and reached down to grab my things, but Jake stopped me.

"I got it," he said picking up my bags.

"How polite of you kind sir," I replied giggling.

I walked in front of Jake with the girls chatting about our plans for the evening. The guys had a show tonight at the Seattle Center Coliseum. The plan was to be ready when the guys left, so we wouldn't have to try to find tickets. We would watch their performance and come back to our hotel room where we decided to hang for the evening. The only glitch in our boy free evening was the fact that somehow Jake had been placed in our room.

"Hum, they need to send a cot in here for me," Jake stammered.

"Why Jake? You can sleep with Izzy and Rose," Tinker Bell said smiling broadly at Jake.

"I can't," he said shyly.

"What's wrong Jake? Haven't you ever slept with a woman before?" Rose Bud asked while Jake turned red.

"Oh my God," Jessie cried.

"You've never slept with someone?" Tinker Bell asked puzzled.

"Jake," I said getting his attention. I walked right over to him and lifted his chin that was now facing down.

"You've never slept with a woman before?" I questioned.

"I've slept in the same bed as my sisters, but ... I'm a virgin," he whispered.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of," I cooed.

"I can remedy that real quick," Jessie whispered in his ear.

I looked over my shoulder, giving her a narrowed look with my eyes. I didn't care if she wanted to, but she didn't need to scare him off, and apparently this was something he would have to work up to. Not everybody climbs straight into bed with people and sometimes these things took time. Maybe tonight the girls would give Jake an education in the female body.

"Look Jake, you're not the only person in this room who hasn't been with the opposite sex. Sometimes looks and actions are deceiving."

I winked at him and walked out of the room.

Rose Bud, Tinker Bell, and I hadn't been with a man yet. We had all been waiting for that special somebody, so there wasn't anything to be worried about. However, it was a little wild that he hadn't been with someone yet. Usually, boys started early, but maybe not.

I walked down to the lounge to buy us some snacks for tonight.

~AASS~

The show was great, and 'The Midnight Riders' performed really well. The boys all decided to stay and watch the main act, but the girls and I decided we would catch them in the next town. Edward said something about hanging with his family here, so we assumed the rest of the band would do the same. Another reason for us girls to stay out of the way; it was rumoured that Edward had a wife, and I wasn't interested in meeting her if he did. I was sure the other boys had similar plans, so girl's night it is.

We laughed and giggled the whole way back to the room.

"I grabbed this gallon out of the boy's room," Jessie said holding up the bottle of vodka.

"We will be having fun tonight ladies," Rose said leading the way back to our room. We drank, painted each other's toes nails, and talked about boys and the band. We did all the typical girly stuff, until Jake walked into the room. The whole room went quiet as he stood at the door looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"Hello?" he said timidly, more of a question, not even stepping from the door frame. There for a fleeting moment, I wondered if he knew the extent of the torture he was going to be going through this evening.

"Jakey," Jessie slurred running over to him and wrapping her body around his. Out of all the girls in the group, Jessie was the one who was more the groupie type. In fact, she had traveled with Victoria and her friends a while back, but when Jessie slept with Sean Cummings, Victoria left Jessie on the side of the road. That's where we met her and how she became part of the group. We tried to tell her to have more self worth, but everything fell on deaf ears. Hell, I was quite shocked she hadn't already slept with Mike. It was harder for her not to do what she had done all along with Victoria, and her not bedding Mike yet showed signs of growth, but with her jumping Jake, I was having second thoughts.

"Come on in," Tinker Bell motioned, as Jake struggled to hold up Jessie. He finally made it into the room.

"So, did you hang with the guys?" I asked.

"Yeah, all their parents were here to see them perform," he said tipping up the cup that Jessie handed to him. Jake started coughing and grabbed his throat.

"What the hell is that?" he asked.

Apparently, sex wasn't the only thing Jake had never done before.

"Vodka," Rose slurred.

"Take another. It gets better the more you have," Jessie said refilling his cup. Jake timidly tipped the cup up again, taking another swig. I watched as he scrunched up his face as the alcohol entered his system.

"Did their girlfriends come?" Tinker Bell asked.

"The only one who doesn't have a girlfriend is Mike. Edward is married, but his wife wasn't there. I don't know how good of a marriage it really is. I guess he really doesn't talk to her much anymore. Jasper's girlfriend lives in LA, Garrett and Emmett's girlfriends showed up.

Rose and Tinker asked Jake question after question about the girls and how the boys reacted with them. It seemed I wasn't the only one forming an attraction to one of the members. The only time I really tuned into their conversation was when Edward or his family was mentioned and then I wished I wouldn't have.

It wasn't uncommon for band members to have girlfriends or wives, but I still didn't like it very much. They were out meeting girls all the time, and who's to say someone else couldn't come along and make them happier. Hell, if it was my boyfriend or husband, I would be with him every step of the way, not sitting at home waiting for him or wondering if he was sleeping with women that he met along the way.

During the conversation, I watched as Jessie plied Jake with more and more alcohol. I tried to tell her to stop, and I tried to warn Jake, but it continued until he was good and drunk; that is when she made her move.

After a while of listening to Tinker and Rose snore, Jessie whispered into Jake's ear and I watched as he nodded his head. They moved to the vacant bed. I wasn't sleepy. I was a little intoxicated, but not ready to settle down yet, so I left the room.

I ended up falling asleep leaning up against the wall in front of our room and was awoken by a maid asking me to remove myself from the hall.

I banged on the damn door until Tinker finally let me in. It didn't take me long to gather my things and head down to breakfast. I passed Edward in the hall.

"Hey, where were you girls last night?" he asked.

"Hanging out. We figured you boys wanted family time," I said shrugging. It wasn't a big deal.

"Yeah, that was sweet of you, but you should have come to the party after the show. It was awesome."

"Well, maybe next time," I said smiling.

"Our families didn't go, so you girls would have been welcome."

"I will remember that the next time," I replied.

"Can I sit with you on the bus?" he asked shyly.

"Hum, sure. It's not like we have assigned seats or anything," I giggled.

"Okay cool," he said smiling that damn crooked grin at me.

"I better get going if I'm going to get breakfast," I said motioning toward the lobby.

"Oh, yeah ... hey ... try the waffles. They're delicious," he said walking past me.

"Okay," I replied.

I got the waffles like Edward suggested, and it wasn't much longer till the girls joined me. Jessie bragged about sleeping with Jake and that she was the one to take his virginity. Jake showed up as we were walking out to the lobby. He didn't even look up at us. I knew he was embarrassed. Hell, I didn't even know if he wanted to be with Jessie, and from the looks of things, he might not have.

I wasn't about to get in the middle of things, but I did feel sorry for him. But, that was life, and sometimes we made decisions that were mistakes.

It was going to take us three days to get to Detroit. The way the tour was set up, those three days would be spent entirely on the road. I carried my things down to the bus, sitting them in the pile to be packed. I talked to the girls and Jasper, the manager, for a moment wondering about our accommodations when we finally got to Detroit. At this moment, the record label wasn't going to foot the bill for an extra room. We had to either come up with the money or bunk with one of the band members. I think Jasper winked at Alice when he said that because she giggled.

I boarded the bus with Edward following behind me. I found a seat and slid all the way to the window, allowing him to have the aisle seat. He stopped to look at me. Once again, I was mesmerized by his gaze. I could get lost in his eyes forever. I knew he was married, but Jake had said that it was not a happy marriage, whatever that meant. I was not going to throw myself at a married man, not knowing truly what was going on. I would wait for him to pursue me, and then ask him when the time was right. Edward and I spent the better part of the day and night casually looking at one another. We didn't speak, which I thought was odd being he wanted to sit with me. I spun around a couple of times and talked to Tinker Bell, who was sitting behind me with Jasper. Edward would jump into the conversations here and there, but he would never engage me himself.

~Detroit, Michigan~

Edward and I sat watching each other for three days straight. I used his shoulder for a pillow for some of the trip, but when my neck started to hurt, he offered his lap to me. Then one morning, I woke up and noticed his arms wrapped around me. I never said anything. I just decided to snuggle a little closer to his warm body and go back to sleep.

When we pulled up in Detroit, he finally broke the silence between us.

"Do you want to stay in my room? Jasper said something about you guys not having a room and that you girls would have to bunk with one of us guys," he said running his hands through his copper locks.

"Sure, I mean as long as that's okay with you. If not, I can sleep on the floor of whatever room Tinker or Rose stays in," I said shrugging. It didn't really matter as long as I had a roof over my head.

"Yeah, I'm sure," he said scratching his head, but never looked into my eyes.

We got off the bus and filed into the hotel that we would be staying at for the next two days. I followed Edward to his room and placed my things there, but I didn't stay long. Tinker and Rose wanted to prepare something special for the boys. So we had to talk to the hotel staff to get food arranged. We had been on the road for days and the thought of having a nice meal and a potential shower seemed like a good idea. The boys would have tonight off.

"So what is going on with you and Edward?" Tinker asked nudging my shoulder.

"Nothing," I replied.

"Yeah right. First you sit with him on the bus, and now you are shacking up in his room. Come on, what do you take me for, an idiot?" she asked smiling.

"No, but nothing is going on. I could pose the same question about you and Jasper," I stated.

Tinker always liked to know what was going on with everyone, and she would often times stick her nose in other people's business, but it was never to harm them. She was curious mainly.

"There is something going on between Jasper and me, just like there is something going on with Edward and you. I know it. I can see it in the way you look at one another," she said.

"I don't think so. I mean, I like him and wouldn't mind, but he's married, in case you have forgotten."

"I haven't forgotten, and apparently neither have you. But tell me, if he came to you, wouldn't you want to be with him?" she asked stopping in front of me before we opened the doors to the conference room we were meeting the hotel staff in.

"If he wanted to, maybe, but I don't know," I said shrugging it off. What would I do? I didn't know. A part of me wanted to be with him, but I would need to find out about his situation with his wife first.

Tinker pushed open the doors, putting an end to our conversation about Edward for which I was thankful. I never wanted to ruin someone's relationships, but if I had proof that maybe things weren't great between them or he was potentially looking to leave, I would totally consider the possibility.

After everything was arranged with the hotel staff and dinner was set for seven, everyone returned to their rooms. When I walked in, Edward wasn't anywhere to be found. So I gathered my things and headed toward the shower.

I was standing underneath the spray when I heard noises in the room. I figured it was Edward getting his things, and I quickly finished so he could get in. I didn't know where the guys had went. For all I knew they could have had a sound check or something to tend to while us girls took care of the food situation. I knew after my shower I would have to locate somewhere to do my clothes.

I dried off, hearing moaning coming from the room. I briefly wondered if his wife was somehow in town and had come back to the room with Edward, and they were now having sex in his room. I wouldn't want to hear them going at it.

I leaned my ear against the door to see if I heard any talking or anything other than the grunts and moans I heard. It wasn't until I heard my name being chanted that things got a little weird. The voice sounded like Edward's, but I couldn't make anything else out.

All of a sudden the moans stopped, and the phone started ringing, making me jump and bang my knee on the sink. I rubbed the spot as I pressed my ear back to the door to listen.

"Yes, Mom," he said muffled.

"No, Mom. I'm not doing drugs."

It was definitely Edward. I had heard all about his mother calling to check on him often. Apparently, she was having a hard time since he left and would often call to check in on him. He was lying about the drugs; about every person on this tour was taking or doing something. But, I wasn't about to tell his mother or get into the middle of their relationship. Personally, I didn't like drugs. Well, not pills or anything like that. I often drank or smoked, but never took pills.

I listened as he told her he loved her and he would be safe. I pulled away from the door, pondering the earlier incident. I didn't know it for a fact, but was he masturbating and chanting my name?

I blushed red and looked at my flushed face in the mirror. I knew I would have to leave this room soon, but I wanted the blush gone first. I splashed cold water on my face and looked presentable when I opened the door.

Edward was kicked back on the bed. His shirt was wadded up beside him and his pants were unbuckled. The blush came back in full force then.

"I didn't know you were here," he said looking wide eyed at me.

"Yeah, hum," I stammered.

"The whole time?" he asked running his hands through his hair and pulling at it.

"I was in the shower. I didn't hear anything until the phone rang," I said. I knew I wasn't a good liar and with me saying I didn't hear anything before just gave me away.

"For the love of God," he exclaimed getting up from the bed and walking past me to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

I stood there stunned. It wasn't like I wanted to hear him in the middle of something like that happening. It wasn't like I planned to hear him. Hell, I could have opened the door and watched, but I was so shocked to even hear it. What worried me the most was the fact he was chanting my name in the process. Now, that was either creepy or totally sexy, and right now with him stopping off, I might be inclined to think it was creepy.

The door to the bathroom flung open, and Edward stood there in nothing, but a towel. I watched him move to his clothes.

"Are you girls planning on doing any laundry?" he asked. I didn't answer at first because the sight of a freshly bathed Edward, who had been masturbating and chanting my name, suddenly turned from creepy to completely sexy in a matter of seconds.

"Izzy?" he asked waving his hands in the air.

"Yeah," I replied pulling away from my thoughts of him with his hands wrapped around the monster I knew he was packing underneath his towel.

"Are you girls planning on doing laundry?" he asked again.

"Yes, hum, do you have something that needs to be done?" I asked.

"If you girls could take care of these, I would appreciated it," he said pulling his clothes from his bag.

"We're getting together tonight and finding a laundry mat to see about getting the group's clothes done anyway," I said pulling my clothes out of my bags and pulling my laundry bag out to collect both our things.

"So, you heard me earlier," he said still rummaging through his things.

"Yeah, I want you to know I didn't mean to. I wanted a shower, and when I turned the water off, I heard you," I said blushing.

"It's cool. Human nature kind of thing," he said not even looking my direction. I was glancing at him out of the corner of my eye.

"Why didn't Kate come with you?" I asked.

I didn't mean to bring her up really, but he wouldn't have to do that if Kate was here surely. Also, I really wanted to know what was going on between them, and I figure it was the perfect time to bring it up.

"She doesn't like the band," he said slipping a pair of boxers on underneath his towel.

"Why not? Didn't she grow up with them too?" I asked. I had heard the basics of their relationship. Kate was a bitch, and she lived with the band for a while at the Riot House, but had went back home to go to school.

"She thinks I'm wasting my time," he said pulling the towel from his body as he stood tall above me in nothing, but his boxers.

He leaned down and pulled a pair of pants from his bag and slipped them onto his body.

"You guys are freaking awesome, and if you can get some good exposure, you should be able to make it huge one day," I said.

They were that good. If they could get the exposure they would be stars, but right now they were only stars on the Strip.

"Yeah, well she doesn't see it that way. She wants me to go to college, get a real job, and stop all this nonsense," he said walking over to the window, where he fired up a cigarette and took a long draw before resting his hands on the window.

"You have to do what is best for you," I said dragging the laundry bag to the door.

"That's what I told her when she wanted to leave LA. Look, I don't want to talk about Kate. She's not here, and she doesn't come around anymore for me to worry about," he said turning to look at me.

"We don't have to talk about her, but I wanted to know what the deal was, that's all," I said shrugging.

"I want to be with you." he said stalking towards me.

I stood completely still, not knowing what to do.

"Tell me I can have you," he said getting closer to me. When he finally stood in front of me, he reached out and gently rubbed his hand down the side of my face. The electric shock was still there. I closed my eyes and just relished the feel of his hands on my face.

"Can I kiss you, Izzy?" he asked.

I kept my eyes closed, nodding my approval. I could feel his breath on my face as his lips lowered to mine. His kiss was gentle and warm, soft and slow, and the electric jolt I had felt from his touch was nothing compared to his kiss. The kiss was sweet and passionate. When he pulled away, I still had my eyes closed.

"We will talk more about this, but I want you to know I'm attracted to you. I want you to be with me during this tour, no one else," he said as he picked up a strand of my hair and twisted it around his finger.

"Will you be with me, Izzy?" he asked.

I finally opened my eyes and looked into the green depths in front of me.

"I want you too," I whispered.

"Good," he replied before placing one more kiss on my lips.

The knocking on the door pulled us both from our little bubble and back to reality. Edward answered the door. Tinker Bell was standing on the other side with her sack of laundry ready to go. I gathered our things and walked past Edward. He reached out and grabbed my hand making me look at him.

"Later," he said winking. He let go of my hand, and I followed Tinker Bell out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another chapter done. I hope our little group is progressing here. Jake does have small feelings for Bella, but was persuaded into bed by Jessica. We will see more about our couple as things take off. Yes, Edward will be married for the better part of the story. Bella is a virgin, so not your typical groupie case here.


	5. Cocaine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Cocaine by Eric Clapton
> 
> Warning: This story will have drug use, alcohol abuse, and graphic situations. It will also delve into underage sex; Bella will be seventeen and Edward is twenty-four. Remember this story is about becoming famous, and people that follow them around while on tour. Please be advised if this is not something you wish to read please back out now.
> 
> ****If you haven't noticed by the title, this chapter will be dealing with Edward's addiction to cocaine. I have never touched the stuff and never plan on it. The information was found from talking to people who have and internet research. So, this might not be the typical situations. I also DO NOT advise anyone to get involved in any of these situations because they can and will destroy your life. I have included a website and a 800 number just in case you are struggling with addictions and want help. Please get it … www dot addictioncareoptions dot com backslash addiction-help ? gclid = CL - Ahdbs9rcCFTQOOgodziUAcQ (800) 784-6776 Remember ffn doesn't allow websites so take the spaces out. ~Thank
> 
> What happens when two people share a room? Will things go bump in the night?

Chapter 5

Cocaine

EPOV

I watched as Izzy walked out of the room with Tinker Bell. If it wasn't for her interrupting, God knows how far I would have taken it. I hadn't been with a woman in a long time.

Kate had called the other day talking once again about getting divorced, if I wasn't going to come home. Why couldn't she understand that music was my life at the moment? I wasn't going to give up on my dream to come running home to work at the mill and try to attend school. She wanted me to go to school while I worked, but she failed to see that we couldn't and wouldn't live with our parents. How did she think we were going to survive otherwise?

I could probably still live with my parents and go to school had I not gotten married, but I wasn't about to bring that in on my parents. Nor did I know if they would even allow that, but I knew if I went back now, I would have to find Kate and me a place. Not only that, but I would have to put off furthering my education in order for her to do so. It's not that my education bothered me so much, but I did have a contingency plan in case this music thing didn't work out. The plan was that if things didn't work, I was going to go back and study music. I wanted to do something music related.

I walked over to the window in my room and fired up a cigarette, pulling the smoke into my lungs. I would sign the papers, if Kate would only send them to me. I wasn't in love with her. I don't know why we got married in the first place.

I blew the smoke out of my nose and walked away from the window. I didn't want to think about Kate. I wanted to think about Izzy. God, that kiss earlier had sent lightning bolts down my body and straight out of my dick. I wanted her more than I had ever wanted Kate or any other woman for that matter. I tried to watch her the last couple of days we were on the bus together to see what it was about her that drew me in, but I couldn't figure it out. I wondered if it was because she understood this whole music scene and the touring aspect to try to make it, but that seemed too easy of an out. I was the happiest I had been in a long time when she finally gave in to her uncomfortable sleeping position and laid across my lap. God I hoped I didn't get a fucking hard on. Before I realized what happened, I woke up with my arms tightly wrapped around her. I tried to play it off so she didn't get embarrassed. Kate might be able to understand too if she would pull her nose out of the damn clouds.

I knew if I ever made it big, Kate would be beside me in a heartbeat, but she didn't want to endure the long ride to getting to that point. She wants the fame, fortune, and the prestige that comes with being a rock star's wife. I just wanted to play music that everyone loved to hear. If we ever made it, the odds would be stacked against us. There are so many good groups out here, and we were in constant competition with them to be the best and get the spot. We had been lucky, but we still weren't big time yet. Hell, we could tour with the biggest name out there, but if something didn't click and we didn't make sales, we would be yesterday's news. One hit wonders long forgotten, and that is what we were at the moment.

'Lunar Moon' had gone straight to number one, but our albums weren't selling all that well. The reason for the tour was the record company's bright idea to get us more exposure; so our album would hopefully start to sell. If something happened and they didn't start selling, the label will drop us. Then we would go back to Forks and start over, go to college, or work at the local saw mill.

I reached down, grabbing my cap and walked out the door. Thinking about all these things was driving me crazy, and I needed something to take the edge off. James, a member of the road crew, would have something for me. It was just a matter of finding out where he was hiding.

~AASS~

It didn't take long to locate the prick. I hated him, but he was always able to get the good stuff for me. I wouldn't touch heroin, but yak, that was another story. Once I got a bump or two in my system, I felt like I was ten feet tall and fucking bullet proof. I loved the feeling, and God once it was running through me, I could fuck all night long. I had tried it a couple of times with Kate, but she never realized what I was doing. I couldn't get enough when I was jacked up out of my head. The only down fall to coke was that if I got a bad batch, it would make me moody and antisocial. That wasn't the point of me taking it. I wanted to be the life of the party, and when it was from good batch like James always had, I could be those things.

"Hey man," I said, walking up to James.

"What's up?" he asked, smiling.

He knew what I wanted and needed. I always got an 'eight ball'. It would usually last me the weekend, if I was lucky and if I didn't share that much. I tried to limit it to me though.

"You holding?" I asked, blowing out smoke from my cigarette.

"Yeah, the usual?" he asked.

I nodded. I handed him his money, and he handed me what I wanted.

"Pleasure doing business with you," he said, as I took my shit and left.

I didn't even reply back. I walked back to the room, waiting for Izzy to show up and to snort a line or two before she came back. I knew the band would be partying tonight and would all be gathered in Garrett's room to do so.

I opened the door to my room, shutting it behind me and headed straight over to the bathroom. I poured some of the blow out on the counter and cut it into two lines with my license. Once I was satisfied with the amount I had rationed out, I pulled a dollar bill out of my wallet and rolled it up. I leaned down and used the rolled up bill to suck the goodness into my system. I leaned back, holding my nose as I closed my eyes and felt the rush go through me. Fuck, I felt like I could take on the world.

I leaned down again to do the other line I had set out, and once again felt the high taking me over. I should be good for a while, I thought. I wiped down the counter and placed my license back in my wallet. I used the washcloth hanging on the rack to wash my face and gently wipe inside of my nostrils, guaranteeing that no one would know what I had been doing. I didn't know when Izzy would be back and didn't want her to see any leftover powder on my face. Hopefully my eyes wouldn't give it away.

When I looked in the mirror, I knew that if my mother saw me right now, she would be disappointed in me. I had talked to her earlier, and she was worried to death that with me being out in the music industry that I would find myself addicted to drugs or alcohol. And, she didn't want that for me, but she didn't understand that when the record label expects you to play all night long, you have to do it. Or, you are out a job or stardom. The alcohol was started first to claim my nerves and give me the courage to go on stage. All the guys in the band were drinking before we even came to LA. When you are standing in front of people, it's hard not to get nervous and being on tour amplified that because now we were in stadiums, not just bars. When we got the gig at 'The Whiskey', we became the main attraction and would have to play until the wee hours of the morning. So, I was having a hard time at first being able to go that long and with the alcohol in my system, it only made me sleeper. One of the bouncers at the club suggested trying the yak. He said it would keep me up and would give me the energy to make it through the sets. I took his advice and started using it on nights we had to play. But, somewhere along the way, it became my crutch, having to use it to go around people and talk. It had turned into an everyday custom just to function.

I walked out of the bathroom just in time to see the girls enter the room giggling. Izzy didn't say a word to me, just looked while a beautiful blush covered her face and chest.

Tinker Bell chimed in for her, "Here are the clothes. We're going to change in my room and meet the entire band in Garrett's." She grabbed Izzy's hand and led her out the door.

I found my clothes pretty quickly and placed them in my bag. I noticed a pair of Izzy's panties in the stack of clothes. I couldn't help the thoughts running around my brain as I picked them up. I rubbed the lacy material, wishing I would soon be able to see them on her body just before I removed them, with my teeth.

I could stand here all day and fantasize about her in her lingerie; however, I would like to try to talk her into letting me see them in real life. I gathered everything I wanted to take to Garrett's room and left. My fantasies would have to wait till another time.

It wasn't hard to find Garrett's room. People weren't actually in the room at this point; they were hanging out in the halls, lining up one side and down the other. Not only was it our band, but the roadies and whomever they wanted to bring. Hell, even some of the members of AC/DC were hanging around inside the room talking. It looked like a poker game was getting started.

I caught Izzy's eyes glance my direction from across the room. She was standing talking to some of the other girls that hung with our band. I didn't know everyone's names, but I knew they were some of her friends.

She looked beautiful standing across the room. Her brown eyes looked deep like you could almost lose your soul in their depths. Her brown hair had light red highlights that when she turned her head, the overhead lighting would catch them, showing them off. They highlighted her perfectly. Her skin wasn't pale white, but it wasn't the golden tan you would expect to see on a girl who lived in California the majority of her life. And her outfit was something to be desired. I couldn't for the life of me begin to describe her outfit, but let's just say her jeans were cut to fit her trim legs, making her ass look full and firm. Her shirt cut down into her chest showing off the ample amount of cleavage. I couldn't believe my tongue wasn't hanging out of head with the way she looked.

I got a beer and sat down on the couch across the room where I could watch her. I sat there staring, watching her interact with others, amazed by the fact that she always carried herself so well. She was laughing and having a good time with everyone. Our eyes would meet every so often, and we would have the longest moments of just staring at one another, but we never moved to get any closer. I wanted her to come to me, but this must have been a little game with her. She would sit across from me where I could watch her, but never would she sit beside me. I loved this little game she was playing. It was better than any game any of the other women around her played. They came up and were always so strong in their advances. It always made me feel bad that I shot them down, but I wasn't interested in what they had to offer.

"What's up with Edward and Izzy?" Jake asked Tinker Bell.

"I don't know, but something is definitely up between the two of them," Tinker mused.

I, of course, smiled into my beer looking over at Izzy. Everyone wanted to know what was going on between us. We were rooming together, and we had sat together on the bus for three days. So, it didn't surprise me that Jake would ask. I wondered if he was jealous.

"Do you think they are together now?" he asked, looking between the two of us. I winked at Izzy because I knew she could hear them too.

"It won't be long," Tinker Bell said, walking over to whisper something into Izzy's ear.

Within a matter of minutes, Izzy stood and motioned her head toward the door. I don't know if it was meant for me, but I wasn't going to miss a chance to be alone with her. I got up from my seat and quickly followed her out the door. I wasn't right on her tail, but I could watch her cute little ass swaying as she walked ahead of me. I was enjoying the view too.

She stopped right in front of our room, opening the door, and walking inside. I ran to catch her before the door could close behind her. I grabbed the door right before it shut, catching her off guard.

"You followed," she said.

"Of course I did," I replied, reaching out to touch her hand that was still holding the doorknob. We didn't move a muscle and stood there looking at one another for a couple of minutes. I removed her hand from the doorknob. She stepped to the side to allow me into the room. I walked in, closing the door behind me, making sure to hit the lock. I was not having someone barging in on us. I couldn't resist the temptation of her any longer, pushing her up against the wall.

"I've wanted you all night long," I said in low tones, almost whispering to her.

"I know," she whispered.

"Can I kiss you Izzy?" I asked.

"Please," she breathed.

It didn't take but a mere second for my lips to meet her lips. I could feel the electrical shock immediately as it radiated through my lips and down my spine. Her lips were tender and sweet, and this time I wanted to taste her. Hell, I wanted to crawl inside of her and not surface for years. I licked the outside of her lips asking for permission to kiss her deeper. She opened her mouth enough for me to truly taste her. We didn't fight for dominance; we went with the feeling of one another. It wasn't about how far I could jam my tongue down her throat either.

I heard her moan, so I pulled her body closer to mine and pinned her closer to the wall. I had both hands on the sides of her face. I wasn't about to let her out of my grasp. I rubbed my hardened cock against her, letting her feel what she was doing to me. I wanted her badly.

She pulled away from the kiss, resting her forehead against my chest, while putting her hands there also to push me back.

"Edward," she said, while her hands still rested on my chest.

"We need to talk before this can go any further," she said, as she escaped my grasp. I watched her walk over to the window and look out.

"I will tell you anything you want to know about Kate," I said.

She already knew about the fact that I was married, but if she wanted to know the absolute truth, I would open up and tell her. Kate and I were taking different paths in life. I was really just waiting for the divorce papers to come in the mail. Maybe I should ask Jasper about having him find an attorney to have them drawn up and send them to her myself. God, if she waited and we did become something, she could get half of everything I had, just for being a bitch that never supported me or the band.

"It's not about Kate, even though I would like to know about that too. It's more about me," she said.

I walked up behind her and captured her in my arms, placing kisses on her neck.

"We have the entire tour to talk about you and me," I said, sucking a place on her neck marking her as mine and allowing my still aching cock to rub up against her ass.

"Stop," she said, pulling out of my hold once again, turning to look at me.

"I don't want to stop," I said, walking closer to her.

"Can't you feel what you do to me?" I asked, grabbing her hand and placing it on my hard dick.

"You might not want to be with me once you know," she stated, looking me right in the eyes and removing her hand.

"What's there to know? Are you a runaway, a teenager, or are you an actual groupie?" I said sarcastically. I didn't really think she was any of those things. But when she didn't keep her hand on my groin and was acting like she had a big secret to reveal, I got a little pissed.

She forcefully pushed me down onto the bed, reached into my pockets, and pulled out my pack of cigarettes. I lay back on the bed and watched her pull a cigarette out and light it, walking back over to the window.

"Do you know how old I am?" she asked, with her back still facing me.

"No, but you can't be much older than eighteen or so," I said.

I really didn't know how old any of the girls that were traveling with us were, but it never really mattered to me.

"I should be in school today."

"That doesn't matter to me. Hell, half the people in California are dropouts from different states, looking to make it big. Do you not know that the band and I moved to California when we were eighteen?" I replied.

"I'm seventeen," she said, as the smoke from the cigarette surrounded her head.

"So," I replied. I wasn't expecting sixteen, but it wasn't that bad.

"It doesn't bother you?" she asked, still not facing me.

"Why would it? So what, I'm what, eight years older than you?" I said shrugging my shoulders.

"That's not all," she said, stubbing out the cigarette in the ashtray sitting on the window ledge.

She walked over to the bed and sat at the head with her upper body leaning against the headboard.

"My real name is Isabella Marie Swan; my father is the Chief of Police in Forks, Washington. I have been living with my mother since the day she decided she didn't want to stay in a small town anymore. I have only seen my father a handful of times since I was little. The one thing I can give him is that he hasn't ever fought my mother for me, and he pays his child support regularly."

"You're not going to believe me, but I know your father. I know we saw all our families in Seattle but actually...we are from Forks," I said.

I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. I used to hang out down the reservation in my youth and sometimes the boys and I would end up at the diner after words. I had seen the Chief of Police there every so often. But, there was one time when we were causing a little scene in the diner that the Chief had to come over and calm us down. I don't know much about him, but I did know who he was. Other than that one time he spoke to us, I had only seen him in passing. We pretty much stayed out of trouble.

"You are from Forks? Not Seattle? Oh my God ... I can't believe you know who my dad is. You have never heard the rumours of the flighty Police Chief's wife that took off with his daughter?" she looked at me puzzled.

"Nope," I answered popping the p at her, trying to be serious.

"It's about a two hour drive, so our families drove from Forks to Seattle to watch us play. I think my dad, Dr. Cullen, knows your father much better. He is the Chief at the hospital and runs the ER. I was more interested in my music to get involved with anything else. He helped the reservation get a clinic there because they refused to go to Forks Hospital."

"Well, that's great," she said very cocky. I didn't know what part she was referring to; about me knowing her dad or my dad helping build the hospital on the reservation. I didn't bother to ask either.

"Why did you leave your mother?" I asked, wanting to get this out of the way. I was wide awake anyhow; why not talk? It didn't look like anything else was going to happen right now. This was okay with me. How strange, I thought? I always wanted to get laid, but I was content to sit and listen to her problems. I would have waited and let it come out over time during the tour, but we might as well get it done now.

It didn't take her long to tell me about Renee and the slim ball stepfather of hers. I never wanted to see Izzy go back to her mother and that piece of shit. I would rather her stay with me. Hell, I would do anything to help her.

I crawled up to her and grabbed her face. I wanted her to look at me and answer me truthfully, when I asked my question.

"Has he ever touched you ... sexually?" I asked because if he had ever laid a hand on her, I would take the first bus back to LA and kill him.

"No, he tried right before I left though," she said through tears.

"What did he try?" I asked because I needed the specifics.

"If I would have stayed the night you guys left on tour, he had promised he would have me."

"And you mean sexually right?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Izzy," I said, getting her to look at me again.

"Are you a virgin?" I asked because she all of a sudden looked to innocent.

"Yes, I'm a virgin," she whispered, looking down.

"Oh, my sweet girl," I said, kissing her head.

"I'm so sorry," she cried.

I should have known she wasn't like the others who had hung around the band. Hell, the whole group wasn't like the others. I just assumed that being that they loved to take care of the band that somewhere along the way it would have happened. I had even heard tales of Jessi Lee already sleeping with both Garrett and Jake. So I assumed all of them were the same as her. Actually, I thought they were all older than they apparently were. I still wasn't sure about the others though.

"Everyone assumes we are an easy lay because of Jessi," she said, rolling her eyes.

"She's not been with us long, and it's hard to break her old ways. She used to run with Victoria," she said, looking at me weird, but didn't say anything else.

"I don't know who Victoria is," I said. They all looked alike to me, most of the time. Only a handful ever really stuck out.

"She was the red head hanging out at 'The Whiskey' the night I met you, and she often frequented the Riot House," she said.

"Still don't ring a bell," I said, trying to figure out who she was.

"She has blue eyes, and she always looked pissed," she said, as her eyes bored into my soul.

"Maybe the band knows her as 'Vixen'," Izzy said, still narrowing her eyes at me. But to tell you the truth, I couldn't remember this girl at all.

"How many girls have you been with Edward? Or, should I call you your nickname, 'Big Cock Eddie'?"

"I don't know," I chuckled. I loved the nickname because it was true.

"You see Edward, I know more about you than you realize. I know that you have been with Vixen/Victoria because she bragged about how she had you while your wife was in another room at the Riot House. She had a Polaroid of the both of you together as her proof. She wanted to get to the rest of the band the night we came to 'The Whiskey'. Supposedly she hasn't slept with Mike yet and wanted to have him too. She's waiting for you to become famous; then she will use the picture to collect money or have proof she slept with tons of rock stars," she said.

It wasn't past me to sleep with someone when Kate was in town. Kate would get pissed and withhold sex, that wasn't when I would seek someone out. But when she would threaten to get a divorce and leave the apartment for a couple of days, I would find the next best thing. I went from having sex two or three times a day to being lucky to getting it once a fucking month. I was jacking off more than I should have been while living with my wife, and then she would pull her shit. I would find someone who was willing to put out. I wasn't shocked with the information, but I still didn't know who this woman was. What stopped me from being with someone now was Jasper. When he explained the difference between the girls, I had a change of heart and knew I wanted more than someone who was out to make a name for herself. Sounds kind of weird coming from a guy, but I really just didn't want to keep being another notch in a groupie whore's bedpost. So she could go around and brag about how many 'rock stars' she's fucked. I already had that type of woman in my life. I was trying to get rid of her, and we speak.

"Come here," I said, pulling her to lie on my chest. She fit perfectly right onto my body, like we were made for each other.

"I haven't been with anyone since Jasper became the group's manager," I said.

"How long has that been?" she asked, allowing her hands to stroke up and down my chest.

"A few months now," I said.

"So, you haven't been with anyone in the last three months or so?" she repeated.

"Yeah," I replied.

"If I decide to be with you like that, there can't be anyone else," she said, looking up into my eyes. She could have asked for my life in that moment, and I would have given it to her. There was nothing I would not give this woman. I was totally under her spell.

"I understand," I said, looking into the brown pools.

"Not even Kate," she stated.

"Not even Kate," I replied.

"It won't be tonight, and we have to get to know one another first. I didn't plan on giving it to the first person I felt drawn to. It always had to be something more for me. More than just a boyfriend, and I feel that potential with you. I don't want you to get your hopes up; you have to give me time."

"As long as I can kiss you and hold you, I will be all right," I said, leaning down as she lifted up to kiss again.

The kiss wasn't long, and it ended quicker than I had hoped, but I wasn't upset. I actually felt kind of calm with Izzy lying in my arms.

It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. I lay for hours, playing with her hair, but when five in the morning rolled around and I still hadn't slept a wink, I reached over into the drawer and pulled out a sleeping pill. The coke in my system had kept me awake all night like it was supposed to, but now I needed some sleep because tonight we had a show. I swallowed the pill without water and shifted down in the bed, hugging Izzy close to my body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, rockward has an addiction of sorts, and it could get rough because of his problem, but no worries, he will figure it out before it's too late. We learned a little more about his problem this chapter. As always be kind and review.


	6. Up Around the Bend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Up Around the Bend-Creedence Clearwater Revival
> 
> Warning: This story will have drug use, alcohol abuse, and graphic situations. It will also delve into underage sex. Bella will be seventeen and Edward is twenty-four. Remember this story is about becoming famous, and people that follow them around while on tour. Please be advised if this is not something you wish to read, please back out now.
> 
> Thanks for dannibags for suggesting this story, for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before it's début.

Chapter 6

Up Around the Bend

BPOV

Detroit had been the starting point of something new between Edward and me. I told him I wasn't quite ready to have sex just yet, and he respected my wishes last night by not forcing me. The problem now was that I am regretting that statement because when he kissed me, the feelings lingered everywhere on my body, and waking up wrapped in his arms was the icing on the cake.

The last three days on the bus had been great, but now that I was truly comfortable, it was something else entirely. I didn't even want to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I was encased in his embrace, warm, listening to the low snores that came from his body. I finally felt at home and snuggled deeper into his embrace.

If only he knew just how close I had come to allowing him to have me; body and soul, I thought. I had to fight with myself to push him away when he had me against the wall. I wanted him so badly, but I knew I had to let him know about me before anything could happen between us.

He automatically thought I wanted to know more about Kate, and I truly did, but he needed to know more about me first. He really didn't want to discuss my issues and tried using his mouth and body to persuade me not to talk; once again, testing my resolve. I knew when he mentioned us talking while on tour that was his way of trying to shut me down. We would still talk during the tour about everything else, but I had to let him know where I was in my life.

My lack of experience and age would surely have someone like him running for the hills. But, if he was going to break my heart, I would rather it be now than later. I wasn't going to lie about it, and I sure as hell didn't want any trouble from it.

When he asked if I was a runaway, he was pretty close. I guess in my mother's eyes, you might consider what I did was run away, at least from the situation, but it was time for me to spread my wings and fly.

The next assumption he had was me being a teenager, which was totally spot on. I don't like to think of myself as a teenager, more a young adult, but technically I was. However, I had been on my own for years because of Renee, and to tell you the truth, sometimes I felt like I was well into my thirties.

The thing that pissed me off the most about what he said was when he called me an actual groupie. That assumption was way off; I pushed him down on the bed and pulled his pack of smokes from his pocket. I used the cigarette to calm me down, and when I dropped the bomb that I was only seventeen, he didn't even sound alarmed or anything. I guessed a lot of my fears were my own and not his.

Confiding in him was getting easier because he didn't have anything negative to say about it, and when he explained that the band was from Seattle, but had been to La Push just outside of Forks city limits, I thought I was going to die. Not only because they were from there, but because he also kind of knew my father. I about flipped out of my wig. I mean, he knew my damn father! Immediately, I wondered why I had never fought harder against my mother to live with dad. Of course, I doubt he would approve of my current situation, running all over the world with a rock band. But, I could have known Edward a whole lot sooner. Maybe things would have been different.

When Edward asked about my mother, I didn't mind sharing how they were as parental figures in my life. However, the one thing that bothered me to share was the information about Phil and the last thing he had said to me before I left the house. I had my head down, not wanting to answer him when he asked if Phil had ever touched me. I mean, the majority of times it was him watching me, but the last night I was there was embarrassing to admit to Edward. When he made me look into those green pools, I couldn't find it in me to lie. I could see it in his eyes right then and there that if Phil had ever laid a hand on me, Edward would have stormed off to LA and done something he would have eventually regretted. So, I was extremely thankful in that moment that Phil hadn't ever done more than what he did that day.

I wasn't planning on Edward guessing about my lack of experience, but I needed to tell him before things went any further between the two of us. When he asked, I admitted it right away. I didn't want him to find out I was lying when I couldn't please him. I knew I wasn't going to be good enough for him. He was married and had been with others, and I thought he probably wouldn't want me because of it. I had heard other boys talk about not wanting a girl who was a virgin and figured Edward would be the same way.

Often times, there was a stigma that followed us around, and everyone usually figured we were all easy. Jessi didn't help with her whoring ways either, but she had learned from the best, Victoria. When I mentioned this to him and brought up Victoria, I remembered how she had bragged about fucking Edward. I was extremely pissed that he would be with someone who was so loose. It wasn't so much as jealousy because Victoria didn't have anything I really wanted, but when I heard her mention him, I was mad. Honesty, it disgusted me that I would even think about taking her sloppy seconds. I hadn't gotten that far and surly Edward had washed all of her skanky ass off his body by now.

When Edward played dumb and acted like he couldn't remember her, it warmed my heart a little, but it still kind of pissed me off. When I called him his nickname 'Big Cock Eddie', he chuckled, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. The day we went on tour, Edward didn't mind letting it all hang out for everyone to see, and I knew he was packing some heavy artillery in that area, which was another reason I wanted to warn him about me. When I saw him, I about had a shit fit. I mean, how something that size was ever going to fit in something so small? I had no idea. I knew what I looked like from pictures in magazines and my own self exploration with a mirror. To think something like that was going to go in easily would be a miracle. I was hoping that not only would he have mercy on me with his member, but when he finally did touch me, it would be something to remember forever.

He pulled me to him and explained that in the last three months, he'd had a change of heart when it came to the women he entertained and admitted that he hadn't been with anyone in months. Victoria or anyone else was clearly gone by now. It had been at least a good six or seven months ago that I saw the pictures. When he promised he wouldn't be with Kate or anyone else while we were together, it felt good. I wanted to believe him, but I was still a little scared.

~AASS~

Our time in Detroit passed by quickly, and before I knew it, we were back on the road. The three nights we stayed in Detroit were awesome. We saw the first show and stayed to watch the main act. The boys did a great job of opening for AC/DC.

The second night, the girls and I hung out backstage and talked to a couple of girls who were traveling with the main act. Some were wives, others were groupies, but some were similar to us. We swapped stories back and forth about the groups that we often accompanied on the road. It was great to see that there were others out there like us. Sometimes it seemed like the 'Love Bands' were a dying breed in the music scene.

The last show in Detroit was amazing, but we weren't allowed to stay and watch the main act. The bus we traveled in was old and broke down constantly. I figured it was a way for the record label to save money. Maybe this was the way they treated their new acts. It didn't matter really, I was just happy to be wrapped up in Edward's arms along the way.

Edward and I grew closer over the miles between Detroit and Rosemont, Illinois. We stopped off in Milwaukee, Wisconsin for one night to do a show, and then we were back on the road before AC/DC could perform their last song. Things were moving fast on the road, and faster between Edward and me. Every time we got alone in a room, it was hard to keep our hands off of one another, but we resisted. There was one more thing I had to take care of before I decided to take the next step.

The majority of our activities happened above clothes, but I knew I wouldn't be able to take much more of his wicked ways without some kind of protection. All the touching and pawing at one another with our clothes on was driving me nuts. Tonight, when we finally pulled into Rosemont, and shut the door behind us in the comfort of our own room, I was going to allow him to go a little further than we had before and I was excited about it too. So much so that Tinker Bell noticed me bouncing my leg while waiting on our bags to get unpacked.

"Big night?" she whispered in my ear.

"Something like that," I whispered.

"Tonight's the night?" she asked, puzzled. Out of all the girls in the group, Tinker Bell was probably my best friend. I was friendly with the others and get along well with them, but Tink and I could talk about almost anything and boy talk was always something we were always able to share with one another.

"No, not yet, but soon," I said. I wasn't planning on going all the way tonight, but I was at least planning on taking us to at least second base. If things got hot and heavy, we might slide into third, but that was still up in the air. I wanted to feel his hands on my bare body and I wanted to touch him everywhere he would allow me to.

"Remember to be careful, whatever you do," Tink reminded. I hadn't forgotten our talk about condoms and birth control. We had to factor in that we were talking about rock stars that had the potential of dipping their wicks into anything, which sparked the discussion of diseases. To say I was thoroughly scared was an understatement, but Tink said we could find a free clinic or something to help us protect ourselves. Jessi Lee wasn't on anything, and sometimes I wondered what she was really thinking.

Renee had gotten pregnant with me at sixteen, and my father married her because his parents said he had to. I wasn't about to find myself in that type of situation. I didn't know if they ever loved one another or were just acting on their hormones, but I wasn't going to be like them. So, it was planned that during this stop, we would make the effort to better protect our bodies from unwanted mistakes.

"When are we going?" I asked.

"Tomorrow, the boys have a sound check at the Rosemont Horizon. I plan on looking in the phonebook to find a place."

My bags were pulled out of the bus, and Edward quickly took them into his hands. He turned, winked at me, and motioned his head to follow. I nodded, letting him know I had seen him.

"That's my cue," I said, smiling at Tink.

"I'm sure it is," she replied, laughing as I walked off, following behind Edward. I ran up behind him. When he sensed my presence, he threw his hand backwards for me to grab. I did it willingly, wanting to touch him in some way. Edward checked in and led us to the room, opening the door for me, and allowing me to walk in front of him. I barely made it passed the door frame before he had me shoved up against the wall.

"I can't wait any longer to touch you in some way," he said, licking his lips.

"Kiss me," I said, moistening my own lips, waiting for him to kiss me. Edward lowered his head and took my lips into his. My resistance to things going further was always tempted by his kisses. I had to get to the clinic pronto. Edward sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and lightly bit, causing me to moan. I loved how he was just rough enough, but not too much. He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes.

"I need you," he sighed.

"I want you so bad," he said, brushing the hair back from my face.

"I know, and I want you too, but we have to wait," I replied, hating the words coming out of my mouth. I wanted him, but didn't want to end up like Renee in the process. Or what if Edward never got divorced from Kate? I had to stop my thinking. I didn't want to venture down the 'what ifs' that may or may not happen with us.

"Let me make love to you," Edward begged with his green eyes. I wanted to so bad, but I sighed and pulled from his arms. I had to think rationally for a moment, and I couldn't do that while in his arms.

"Do you have any condoms?" I asked with my back towards him. Conversations about sex and things weren't the easiest for me to have with a boy or anyone besides Tink or the girls, but I knew I had to be an adult here.

"No, but we don't need them. We'll be careful. Hell, I'll pull out before anything happens," he said, getting closer to my body. My skin prickled, feeling him coming closer to my own. I had never felt like that with anyone before in my entire life.

"I know you would be careful, Edward, but you have to know … my mother got pregnant with me at sixteen. My father married her because his family demanded him to do the right thing. I don't think they ever loved one another, and I don't want that future for myself." I turned around to face him.

"I don't want to travel with a band for the rest of my life, and I don't want a free meal ticket either. I'm not like the rest of the girls in the group. I have things I want to accomplish and won't be able to do those things with a child. I hope you understand that I want to fall in love … I want to feel the rush. I think we have that, and it's the reason why I want to be with you, but I won't complicate things with bringing a child into this world," I said with tears in my eyes. I hoped he understood I wanted to be with him, but wouldn't until the both of us were safe about it. Edward looked down at me, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

"I wouldn't want that for you either because if my career takes off, I don't know if I would be around all the time to be the father I would need to be, but I can't help the way I want you," Edward confessed.

"And, you still have the Kate issue," I replied as I turned toward the window. I hated bringing her up, but she was part of the equation until divorce papers were signed. Edward pulled away from me. I knew I had hit a nerve with bringing up Kate.

"Kate will always be a factor … won't she?" he asked, rather pissed. He had gone from being gentle and sweet to being hateful. I hated the mood swings I would get from him sometimes.

"She will until you or she files for divorce. I can't help it, Edward."

"Is that all you want out of me? To file for divorce and be done with her," Edward seethed in my direction.

"No, but how are we going to be together if she isn't removed from the situation at some point? You say you don't want her, that she means nothing to you, then prove it. File the papers, get the damn divorce, but don't get pissed every time I remind you that you are still married because my mind replays that over and over in my head. I'm not a homewrecker, Edward. I have given you every option in the world to not be with me, but if you want me at some point, you are going to have to file those papers. I will not bring a child into the world with all this around us," I screamed as I motioned around my head.

"I can't deal with this shit right now. The record label got us on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. The photo shoot will be happening when we get to New Jersey. Jasper said that Aro wants to speak to me personally when they meet up with us there. I can't handle you or them at the moment. I'm out," Edward said, walking toward the door and leaving the room. When the door slammed behind him, I broke down and started crying. I crawled into our bed and cried myself to sleep.

~AASS~

I don't know when Edward came back to our room, but I do know when I woke up this morning, he was there with his arms wrapped around my body. Our argument would be the first of many, that I was sure of, but it hurt nevertheless. I hated to bring Kate into things and knew it was a sore spot with him, but I couldn't help the way I felt inside.

When there was a knock on the door, I crawled out of the bed and listened as Tink told me about the clinic she had found. I gathered my things and kissed Edward on the forehead, waking him up.

"Where you going?" he asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"The clinic with the girls," I said, smiling.

"Good," he said, smiling, looking at me with his tired eyes.

"Before you go …" he pulled me closer to him "... kiss me properly." I giggled, but leaned down to capture his lips with mine, kissing him until he was moaning.

"Don't go," he whispered, pulling away from the kiss.

"I have to go, if you want to…" I said, wiggling my eyes at him, looking down his body. He growled and smacked me on my ass as I lifted from the bed.

The clinic Tinker Bell found was great; it seemed a little weird, sitting in the waiting area with women or girls that were pregnant. It was one of those walk-in clinics. I didn't ask any questions nor did it really matter as long as we got what we needed.

When the nurse called me in the back, I was nervous. I had never had anything like this done before in my life. To tell you the truth, the last time I saw the doctor, they said as long as I wasn't sexually active, they wouldn't bother with this type of exam, but this was what I had to do in order to get what I needed. I did everything the nurse asked of me and waited on the doctor to arrive. The knocking on the door pulled me from counting the tiles on the ceiling.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Swan," the male doctor said, entering the room. My blush took over immediately. I had never exposed myself to anyone before, and having a man to be the one to perform my exam embarrassed me. I mean, what if I had a smell or something was wrong down there? I swallowed all my thoughts and tried to lightly smile in his direction.

The exam was uncomfortable and embarrassing, but the worst had to be sitting there with my ass shining and my feet in the stirrups at the end of the table.

"You haven't had sex yet, Ms. Swan. So, I am assuming you are here for some form of birth control," the doctor said, looking up at me from between my legs.

"Y ...yes," I stuttered. God, this was so humiliating. The doctor droned on and on about the different types available to me, and then stepped out of the room while I decided on what to get. Unfortunately, he didn't take my feet out of the stirrups, and I felt like every time he opened the door, he showed my ass to people walking by in the hallway.

Quickly making my choice to get pills, I left the clinic with three months worth. The girls and I were happy to see that we would at least have enough to finish out the tour, but would have to find another clinic to visit once they ran out.

The tour was only supposed to last until Christmas, and we didn't know if the boys would be joining the main act for their second leg around the US in the New Year. Everything was riding on whether or not the sales of their record picked up. I hadn't heard and Jasper said we probably wouldn't know more until after the New Year and that the boys would be heading back to LA while they waited to see.

The girls and I stopped by a couple of shops on our way back to the hotel. It felt good to be out with the girls again. Even though we were all on the tour, now that we all had paired off with band members, we very seldom hung with one another. Tink and I always tried to do our laundry together, but sometimes she was so busy helping Jasper that she couldn't always break away to go.

We entered the hotel just as the guys come back from sound check; Edward scooped me up in his arms, twirling me around.

"God, I fucking missed you," he said, kissing my nose.

"I missed you, too," I said, giggling at how he was acting.

"Did you get the things you needed today?" he asked, whispering and raising his eyebrow. I knew he really wanted me to be safe, but sometimes emotions got in the way of things.

"Yeah, but it's going to take at least a month for them to kick in and work. Not to mention the fact that I have to wait until it comes again," I stated. I know I blushed all the way down to the tips of my toes. Talking about your period with a boy was embarrassing, and even though I was comfortable enough with him to have this more adult conversations, it still didn't take the humiliation out of the situation.

We walked down one of the dark areas of the hotel and Edward pulled me to his body.

"When?" he asked, kissing down my neck, making me lose my mind. I had to concentrate hard to remember when I was expecting another arrival of my monthly visitor.

"Umm," I said, trying to think as his lips did wonderful things to my body, making every nerve ending I had come to life under his touch.

"Can't you remember?" he asked, chuckling against my throat and even the vibrations of his chuckles made my body quiver.

"Yeah, but you have to stop doing that for a moment. You make my mind turn to mush when you do that," I replied, smiling. Edward backed away from me walking, us out of the corridor, and into our room. Once in the room, he fired up a cigarette and took a long draw from it as I did the math in my head. Luckily, I had timed it just right with seeing the doctor because I had two more weeks before my visitor came. Thank God, I was regular enough to be able to give him an answer. Alice wasn't always that lucky with hers, and if it wasn't for the fact she wasn't having sex, she probably would have had a lot of scares.

"Two weeks," I said, walking over to him and picking up my own cigarette and placing it in my mouth. Edward leaned over and lit the cigarette for me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we stood at the window smoking.

"So, we have a little time then," he said, blowing out his smoke and wiggling his eyebrows at me. I giggled. I loved when he acted silly and playful, but these moments rarely happened.

"A little time, but not all … the … way," I said, smiling.

"Hmm, is there anything else you can think about us doing during our little bit of time?" he asked, rubbing my arm with the hand that was wrapped around my shoulders.

"I don't know … you're the experienced one here," I said, winking at him.

"Well then, I have a few things I want to try," he said, putting out his cigarette in the ashtray on the table and pulling away from me. I figured he was going to take a shower while I finished my cigarette, but he pulled the butt from my mouth and extinguished it in the ashtray too. I pouted about him taking my cigarette away from me. I wasn't finished and needed something to calm the nerves that now surfaced. I knew he was up to something, but didn't know what to expect.

He grabbed my hand and led me over to the side of the bed.

"How far, baby?" he asked, placing open mouth kisses down my jawline and neck. I didn't know how to reply with the haze he created with his lips on my neck. It felt good, really fucking good, to have his mouth on me.

"Not too far … remember, I know nothing," I whispered, consumed in his kisses and breathe on my neck. He pulled back from my neck and looked down my body, bringing his hands up to play with the hem of my shirt. I watched as his fingertips dragged back and forth before pushing my shirt up enough to expose the lower part of my stomach.

"I want to see your body," he said, pushing the shirt further and further up my body until I had to raise my arms for him to remove it. I stood up in front of him in nothing, but an old bra. I instantly became embarrassed and tried to cover myself.

"Don't hide from me," he whispered before removing my hands and holding them at my sides. He eyes never left my chest, and my breath became heavier just looking at him watching me. How is it that one could get excited from watching someone look at them? However, I was excited and could feel the moisture collecting between my thighs and all he had done was look. I couldn't imagine what would happen once he finally touched me.

"Just as I pictured," he said before lowering his lips to the tops of my breasts to kiss them. When his lips touched the tops, I thought I was going to pass out in his arms. I felt my knees go weak with the anticipation of what he might do next. He was driving me mad. His tongue came out to lick down the center where the clasp for my bra was. I threw my head back, closing my eyes, and just feeling him lick around the curves of my chest that I didn't even notice his teeth unclasping my bra. I gasped when I felt the material loosen.

"It's okay, baby. I want to see all of you." He ran his nose up the center of my cleavage, straight to my neck, where he licked and sucked while releasing the hold he still had on my arms.

Even though the bra has loosened, it still hadn't pulled away completely and for that I was thankful. I wanted to show him everything, but I didn't know if I was ready. My heart raced, and my hands started to shake when I felt his arms rise to my shoulders, pushing the straps of my bra off. I closed my eyes, trying to live in the feeling of his sweet lips on my neck.

"It's all right, baby. You've already seen me in all my glory, and now I want to see you," he whispered in my ear as he nibbled my ear lobe.

I felt the cool breeze hit me, causing my nipples to harden from the things Edward was doing with his mouth and the cool air. Goosebumps formed on my arms and caused me to shiver.

"Let me warm you up," he cooed, leaning his head down and taking my left hardened peak into his mouth. The warmth of his tongue felt heavenly on my tit, and I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips as he sucked and swirled his tongue around it. His hand rose up to my other breast and covered it completely, using his palm to rub circles around the hardened nipple. I moaned loudly. Everything he was doing to my body felt wonderful and I wanted more … so much more. Hell, I would take anything he would give me at the moment.

Edward released my nipple and pulled his hand away from my chest. I couldn't believe he stopped, everything he was doing felt so fucking good. If this was all he was willing to give, I would gladly take it.

He reached down, unbuttoned his jeans, and pulled down his zipper, but he never pulled his jeans off; just opened them up. I giggled because it was something I had seen men do after eating a big dinner at Thanksgiving. Never something I thought I would ever see in the bedroom.

"I had to relieve the pressure," he said, winking. Edward reached out, unbuttoned my jeans, and pushed them down my hips and thighs. I couldn't move, so he lifted my legs and helped me out of my jeans.

Once again, I couldn't help my response and placed my hands in front of my panties, trying to hide my girly parts from his view. I was scared to death he would pull my panties off and see the wet spot I know I now had in them. He would for sure think I was stupid for being wet down there, and I didn't want him to see it. However, I didn't realize that when I tried to hide myself from him, I inadvertently caused my tits to push closer together. When he noticed them pushed together, he groaned and licked his lips as he pulled off his shirt.

"You're making it harder for me to control myself," he stated, lying back on the bed and pulling me toward him. I landed half on him and half off. I tried to stay away from his crotch. I knew he was hard because he had admitted as much to me, but I didn't want to cause him any more discomfort in the process.

"Kiss me," he begged as his hand came up to play with the side of my breast that wasn't pressed to his tight chest. He caused another shiver to crawl down my spine, but I couldn't refuse a kiss. I licked my lips and lowered my head to his, using my tongue to trace his bottom lip. When he opened his mouth, my tongue slid in and stroked his as his hands rubbed my body. He wrapped one arm around my back and rubbed, while the other hand found the front of my breast and the raised peak once again.

As he stroked my body, I moaned into his mouth, loving the feeling of his hands all over me. This was better than anything I had experienced in the past with him, and I wanted so much more. I had to stop myself several times to keep from tearing his jeans from his body and sealing the deal, but I had to wait, and I keep trying to remind myself of that.

"I want more," he panted into our kiss as his hand drifted down the side of my body and slipping into the waistband of my panties. He slid his hands around and eased them down the front of my panties. I reached out to stop his hand; I couldn't feel what I had done as he touched me.

"Please, baby … I need to feel you," he begged, but stopped because I had made him.

"I'm embarrassed," I stammered.

"What do you have to be embarrassed about? You're fucking beautiful and have nothing to be embarrassed about," he said, still stroking my back, calming me down a little.

"It's just … God, this is hard … hum … a few minutes ago when you were touching me, I kind of," I stammered again, but stopped, not wanting to admit what had happened to my body.

"What's wrong, baby? You can tell me," he said, looking into my eyes, but never removing his hand from the curls of my girl parts.

"Well … you see … I kind of … something happened … and now … shit," I cursed under my breath and let go of his hand to brush the hair out of my face.

"Are you wet, Izzy?" he asked, smiling like a cat who had eating the damn canary. I nodded my head and looked down, staring at the tattoos Edward had on his chest.

"God, baby, do you know how sexy that is? That's what happens when you like the things I do to you. Haven't you ever … you know?" Edward asked while moving his fingers that were in my curls back and forth. I gulped and shook my head no.

"Okay, since you're a virgin and never done something like this before, I'm going to take it slow and not do as much as I would love to do, but if I hurt you … you have to tell me." I nodded, knowing I looked like one of those bobble head things they have, but I couldn't care less at the moment. It was the only way I could communicate.

He slid his fingers lower until he came in contact with my sensitive lips. I moaned as his fingers grazed my clit as I spread my legs wider for his hand. Edward pushed me down onto the mattress and lift up over my body.

"Can I take your panties off?" he asked, but never stopped what he was doing with his hand.

"No," I whispered. I still needed them to feel comfortable and right now I was comfortable with them on. I was worried now that he wouldn't like what he saw if I removed them.

It was his turn to nod as he lowered his head to my chest once again and sucked my nipple into his mouth. I moved under his touch. Everything he was doing to my body felt fucking unbelievable. His tongue swirled and licked at my peak as his fingers circled my clit, causing my whole body to fucking shake. My legs shook and twitched as he circled my clit repeatedly. I rolled my hips against his fingers and used my hands to hold his face to my breast.

My heart raced, and I felt like I was on fire, burning from the inside out. I moved constantly, making my legs close only to open them again as he stroked me over and over. I could feel my body getting closer to the edge of something amazing, something I had never experienced before, and something that formed a tingling in my stomach. I was hanging by a thread, ready to fall over at any minute. When he slid one of his fingers inside of me, I fell. I closed my legs, squeezing his hand between my thighs as I continued to fall. He didn't stop until I finally opened my legs and scooted away from his hands.

Edward leaned up and kissed me, smiling against my lips, and then stood up, where I noticed the wet spot on his jeans. He looked down and winked at me, heading toward the bathroom. I crawled to the headboard, pulling the covers over my body and fell asleep.

~AASS~

Edward's moods were something I had to learn and I was, but sometimes, like now, he would catch me off guard, not knowing how to take him. When he first woke up, he was usually gentle, and there was always something in his eyes that called to me. As the day progressed, Edward became more reserved even around me. I used to figure it was because of the band and the pressure he told me he was under from the record executives, but it wasn't just the band that saw this behavior. In the evenings, the controlling Edward would come out to play, and even though he never hurt me, he was harder to resist during those times because of his forcefulness. Nights were the worst of all when it came to Edward's moods. Once he started drinking, things became worse, and often times, he would fight with other band mates or Jake. Jake was the main one, and anytime I walked around them or tried to get close enough to the conversation, both would either shut up or leave. Then there was the one time that I was talking to Jake and Edward grabbed me by the arm, leading me toward our room.

Those weren't the only things that I noticed about Edward. Edward was visiting James more often. I had heard the stories about him and what he was handing out to the band members almost regularly during the tour. I didn't like it, but I didn't know how to stop what was going on right in front of my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the delay guys once again, but I have been very busy as of lately with contests, compilations, and trying to homeschool both my children this year. I want to thank those who are following this story and who have been patient as I get things together. Be sure to follow me on twitter Cullen4cullen, facebook Carolina .Cullen . 319 or come join my group. I share updates, pdf files of completed stories, and manips that I have created to go along with my stories.


	7. Mama Told Me Not To Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Mama Told Me Not To Come- Three Dog Night
> 
> Warning: This story will have drug use, alcohol abuse, and graphic situations. It will also delve into underage sex. Bella will be seventeen and Edward is twenty-four. Remember this story is about becoming famous, and people that follow them around while on tour. Please be advised if this is not something you wish to read, please back out now.
> 
> Thanks for dannibags for suggesting this story for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before it's début.

Chapter 7

Mama Told Me Not To Come

EPOV

Getting on the cover of the Rolling Stone should have been something to be proud of, but how could one be proud when the record label was determined the tear the band apart with one photo shoot? Those were the thoughts that had been racing through my head as the states, miles, and weeks passed us by on the road. Bloomington, Minnesota and Cincinnati, Ohio passed by in a blur that consisted of the beautiful woman that sat beside me the whole way, Izzy.

I couldn't allow her to know the struggles that consumed my mind. Now a days, I visited James more and more trying to scare the demons of the record label out of my mind. I wanted to be back in Seattle, playing at the shitty little bars that had allowed us. There we were rock stars; the next generation of great ones, but here in Cincinnati, we were the opening act to AC/DC, who wasn't even making record sales. Hell, I would even take playing at 'The Whiskey' at this point … we were somebodys there too, but here, we were nothing … nobodies with a number one single.

Nobodies and now we learned that Jasper would no longer be with us after New York. Yeah, we received that call about a week ago, informing him and us that his services were no longer need with the 'The Midnight Riders'. Actually, they wanted him to fly back to LA as soon as possible, but being that the new manager wasn't scheduled to join the tour until after Thanksgiving, they caved on allowing him to stay. The news from the Rolling Stone cover was overshadowed by the loss of our manager, friend, and supporter. He believed in our music when no one else did, but I could only hope that the next manager would be as good as Jasper, if not better.

The miles rolled on and right before the holiday, my mother called to see if the band and I would be in the Seattle area for Thanksgiving. I think the idea of her boys, as she often called us, not being home for the holidays put her a little more on edge.

"So, where are you now?" she asked, trying to figure out how far we were from Seattle.

"Cincinnati, Ohio," I replied, knowing exactly where this conversation was leading.

"Record label paying for a flight home?" she asked with a little quiver in her voice and if I knew my mother well enough, I would say she was on the verge of crying. However, there was no way the record label was going to pay for us all to fly from Ohio to Seattle.

"No," I answered. I hadn't heard anything yet and tomorrow was Thanksgiving. Surely they would have already given us the information. We also had a show tonight, so I knew we wouldn't be leaving until the show was over at least. Not to mention the fact that we would have to take the 'Red Eye' out because there was no possible way for us to make it to dinner tomorrow and then back by the twenty-sixth for a show in St. Louis, Missouri.

"I see," she said, sniffling. I knew it was breaking her heart that she couldn't see us, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. However, not seeing me would also cause her to worry. I braced myself for the onslaught of questions because now my mother would be paranoid that we were trying to avoid her because we were hiding something.

"Edward ..." she said, sniffling one more time "... please tell me you're not doing drugs and avoiding me because you are afraid of my reaction."

"No, Mom, I promise it's nothing like that. The label isn't exactly the type to let us live extravagantly." I tried to pacify her, and I wasn't going to admit that she was totally fucking up my high. I tuned out as soon as my mother lectured me on how to stay away from the dangers of drugs and women on the road. I almost snorted out loud as she spoke, but I knew it was coming from a place of love and concern, and not because she knew what was happening here with me. Honestly, if she knew the things I had done while on tour and in LA, she would probably drag me back to Seattle by my ear.

"I just love you very much, Edward, and want to make sure you are being safe," she said. It was refreshing to think that at least someone in this world worried about my well-being. Izzy would have been the same way, but I never allowed her to see that coked up side of me.

"I love you too, and I will try to avoid all the dangers," I said, trying to hide the snarky tone I had at the end. I love my mother dearly, but I was twenty-four and had made it this far in life. I don't know why she expected me to do nothing.

Mom prattled on and on about how she was going to miss us and had already bought enough food to feed an army. I chuckled here and there as she talked.

"Will you be home for Christmas?" she asked. I was kind of stuck on how to answer her here. I really wanted to see my parents, but the next leg of the North American tour wasn't to begin again until the middle of January. Everyone had decided to stay in LA, where we had a couple of shows scheduled at 'The Whiskey'. I didn't want to be around Kate, which was another reason I agreed with the band and allowed Jasper to book the shows. I explained some of it to mom; I didn't want to get into my reasoning for not coming home because I knew how she felt about marriage.

"If you're not coming home for Christmas, what is the last stop on the tour?" she asked and I knew I had to give her something or she would just call the label and find out.

"Montreal, and then we will be back in LA," I replied. I really didn't want mom coming to LA to see me. I don't know what she would have thought about us living out of the Hyatt with all the shit going in and out of that damn place. She would more than likely haul all of us back to Seattle. However, my mother hated LA.

"I guess your father and I will see you in Montreal. You know how I feel about LA," she said and I did. My mother thought LA wasn't anything other than sin and debauchery, which she was right, but I would always tell her it wasn't Vegas. I gave her the dates we would be in Montreal so Dad and she could book their tickets.

"I have one stipulation about you guys coming though," I said. I didn't want my mother bringing Kate or her family with them

"Anything for my baby boy," she replied sweetly.

"I'm your only baby. But, don't bring or tell Kate or anyone in her family," I replied. I knew this would open up the whole can of worms about mine and Kate's relationship. I really didn't want to discuss it with my mother, but I didn't want Kate around because I knew Izzy would be with me, and I promised her that I no longer wanted Kate. I wasn't about to play the good husband meanwhile ignoring the love of my fucking life because of some sheet of fucking paper.

"Why shouldn't I invite Kate?" she asked with a tone I knew that my mother was getting a little pissed with me.

"Because mom … I said so," I replied. It was the only thing I could come up with at the minute. My mother didn't need all the details about my love life or the fact I had a gal on the side. I knew my mother wouldn't understand anyways.

"I think the girl deserves to see her husband for the holidays. God, Edward, you need to finish this tour and work to salvage your marriage. You know how I feel about these things," she replied.

"I know," I said, feeling like a little kid again.

"No, you don't know. You took vows, Edward … they are supposed to be cherished and honored. You two never spend any time together, and how in the hell am I going to have grandchildren if you are always miles away?"

"She could be here with me … but she made the choice to leave," I hatefully replied. I felt bad about doing it, but my mother didn't understand that Kate wasn't as good as she portrayed to my parents or hers. She wasn't a bad girl per se, but she didn't want to be with me either.

"You're cheating on her," Mom stated, but I didn't say a word, letting her think what she wanted. Sometimes it was better to just allow her to say whatever she wanted. It wasn't like she was accusing me of doing something I wasn't, but actually when it came to Izzy, I don't know if I would call kissing and hanging out exactly cheating. However, if they could've read my mind, they would have found out I had technically been cheating on Kate since the first time we became boyfriend and girlfriend. Mom, once again, preached to me about the vows of my marriage and how they were sacred and how I should cherish them. I sat silent listening to her prattle on. I guess Kate was a good girl, but she just wasn't the girl for me anymore. I can't believe at one time I thought she was.

"Look, Edward, I'm not trying to tell you how to run your life, but you need to do right by her." Mom was finally talking without me saying anything about it.

"Don't think I haven't tried, Mom. When she lived here in LA, I tried … God knows I did, but nothing I did was ever good enough for her."

"Then why did you marry her?" Mom asked. That was the million dollar question! Why had I allowed it to happen? I knew I wasn't in love with her. I knew what she was like when she wasn't around our parents, and I knew what she wanted out of me. So, why did I do it?

"Why marry her and then not let her be a part of your life?" I thought I had just explained that Kate didn't want to be a part of this life, but Mom was too busy worrying about poor little Katie Denali and what she wanted. My conversation with my mother was pissing me off and ruining the high I had going, so I had to cut my conversation short. I told my mother I loved her and politely hung up before she could get in another word. I knew it was rude, but I'd had enough.

I kicked back on the bed and pulled out the remote to the TV to see what was on. Izzy was out doing the laundry with Tink. So I had plenty of time to relax, and being that she was gone, I didn't run to the bathroom to hide this time. I leaned over to the table on the side of the bed and started cutting out a couple of lines to give me just enough without alerting anyone that I was doing anything. I thought more about Izzy as I portioned out my lines.

Hell, the more time I spend in her presence, the more I fall in love with her, and I knew at some point, I would have to contact a lawyer and get out of my marriage with Kate. I didn't fault Izzy for bringing up things about Kate, but I didn't know why she couldn't see I was riding out my time until I could contact someone to take care of the problem. I could have called Aro and had the record company work something out for me with one of their lawyers, but I wasn't looking forward to the mandatory meeting I already had set with him in New York. Plus, I didn't like the fact of the record label having their noses in another aspect of my life. It was bad enough they had it stuck in between us band members.

~AASS~

Thanksgiving Day, we were halfway to St. Louis when someone said something to Garrett about my private meaning with Aro when we rolled into New York. Garrett about had a shit fit. He wanted to know why Aro wanted to talk to me instead of the band as a whole. Technically, I was over the whole thing with Garrett being pissed all the time about the notoriety of things. I guess I could see his point, but it was wearing on my last nerve, not to mention I thought he was acting like a pussy because of it. Those were the things we never fought about back in Seattle because in Seattle I was just the guitarist and he was the lead singer, as it should be, and everyone was fucking fantastic then.

For hours, Garrett bitched and tried to start a fight with me, but I wouldn't give in. I had slipped away to the bathroom on the bus and snorted a little. I stood in the tiny restroom, letting the yak permeate my brain, closing my eyes and allowing the high to take over. I didn't want to fight with anyone. All I wanted to do was get to St. Louis, get the show over with, and move to the next venue. Well, that and to fuck Izzy, but that one was still on hold at the moment.

I used my shirt to wipe my nose clean and was walking out of the bathroom when Jake grabbed my hand. I looked down at his hand and then to his face. I wished the little shit would leave me alone, always telling me to treat Izzy with respect. If he only knew that I would always do that, I wasn't some whore hopping son of a bitch. I might have had my fun before her, but it was all over now. Honestly, I respected her more than my fucking wife at the moment, talk about a sad realization.

"You fucking hurt her, and I will kill you," he sneered under his breath so no one would hear.

"What did you say?" I asked, getting closer and cupping my ear because this little shit was really fucking up my high now.

"I know what you did in there, and I know what kind of temper you have when you sniff that shit up your nose. I know how many times you visit James in a week. I can't stop her, but know that if you harm one hair on her head, I will kill you."

I busted out laughing. Who in the hell did he think he was? I mean, I had been sniffing yak up my nose, while he was still shitting yellow. I knew how to control my temper, and when I had been high and gotten pissed at Izzy, I always walked out the fucking door, scared I would do something to ruin what we had together. She was right about one thing … we had something special, and I wasn't about to fuck that up.

I pulled my hand out of his and leveled him with the best 'fuck you' look and walked back to where Izzy and I had been sitting on the bus. She looked over at me and smiled broadly, but when she looked into my eyes, I could see her smile fading just a little, and I knew that she knew. It was hard not to know by looking into someone's eyes that they were high. Our eyes turn dark; so dark that you can't even make out the color of our eyes. I smiled at her, trying to tell her with my smile that I was still the same fellow behind these eyes. She must have determined it was true and rested her beautiful head on my shoulders.

Thanksgiving on the road turned out to be nothing really special. The only thing the record label did was cater a dinner for the entire crew, band, and drivers. It really wasn't all that important to me. I was thankful for the beautiful woman I had laying beside me, but other than that, it wasn't all that special. I think this tour and the drama going on with the band was making me regret the day I had that dream in my garage of wanting a band. At the rate things were going with the album, we weren't exactly making it to number one on the billboard charts. One song, but when I dreamed as a child … it was more like the album went straight to number one, not just a song. I fell asleep that night after taking a sleeping pill to settle me down from the coke I had ingested all day long just to get through this so called life and nuzzled into the beauty beside me.

~AASS~

Before we knew it, three more cities had passed us by. St. Louis was a distant dream, along with Indianapolis, Indiana; Richfield, Ohio was our final stop of the night, and I couldn't figure out why we just didn't stop at this place while we were in Cincinnati a couple of days ago. It seemed like a waste of gas and time, but that was the schedule the record label wanted us on. I didn't make any waves and went with the flow of things.

I climbed off the shitty ass bus they insisted we use. Actually, I was shocked it had gotten us this far, but I wasn't about to kick it's tires just yet for fear I would jinx the whole situation. We were three shows away from being in New York, which would be the dreaded stop for me. If the photo shoot went like the others we had been through for t-shirts and posters, I knew Garrett would have his ass on his shoulders.

The thing that puzzled me was the meeting Aro wanted to have with me. I was pretty sure it was the typical wanting me to ditch the band and go solo thing, but usually he just pulled me to the side or caught me off guard coming around a corner. The meeting seemed a little formal maybe he just wanted to tell me about the band and whether or not we would be continuing the second leg of the North American tour with the main act. I had bigger things to worry about other than Aro and the management of the record company.

Christmas was right around the corner, and I knew that Izzy would be with me no matter what happened and with us being in New York, I planned to sneak away to Tiffany's and get her something special. Something that would let her and the whole fucking tour know, she was mine. A lot of reasons I had to find something was because Jake kept trying to get her alone, and I would piss on her leg to keep the dog away, but I was pretty sure she wouldn't like that. Izzy was independent and didn't want anyone behaving like idiots on the tour. She even stopped Mike from leaving with another male fan to party at a local club in one of the towns. She would always step up and play the mother card on some of the crew and other band members. It was quite amusing to watch. However, I tried to keep my antics to a minimum these days. I wasn't looking forward to a repeat of the Hyatt with Tommy's Harley.

I pulled the bags from underneath the bus and turned around, searching for Izzy everywhere. I knew she hadn't gotten far and mainly figured she was with one of the girls, but something in my stomach just wasn't sitting right. I quickly tossed our bags over my shoulder and walked toward the entrance of the hotel. I could see the other girls. They were with their own band members, which increased the sickening feeling in the bottom of my gut.

"Here," Tink said, handing me my room key.

"Where's Izzy?" I asked, pissed because something was totally off. I pushed the key into my pocket when a wet dog smell permeated my brain. I turned toward the couple behind me and then looked down to the ground, seeing a little dog with a leash around his neck. It was in that moment I knew where Izzy was. Jake, I thought.

"I don't know," Tink replied, looking around.

"Where's Jake?" I asked because I knew … I fucking knew he was with her.

"I just gave him his key," she replied, still looking around.

"What room?" I was fucking livid at this point. I had to find that little mangy assed mutt and put this shit to rest.

"247," Tink replied as I dropped our things and ran through the halls. I didn't even bother with the elevators and quickly looked at numbers as I ran. Like every other hotel we had ever stayed at, two hundred forty-seven would be located on the second floor. It was just a matter of finding the room. I could hear voices right before I got to his room and slowed down.

"He's only going to hurt you, Bella," Jake seethed. I stood on the other side of the wall. They were tucked into a little darkly lit opening. I didn't allow them to know I was there as I listened to their exchange.

"No, he's not," Izzy seethed right back at him. Why was it he was calling her Bella? We had talked enough on the road that I knew she often went by Bella, especially to her closest friends and parents. But, why did Jake think it was okay to call her that? I wondered. Had she asked him?

"Can't you see that I love you?" Jake cried. "He's no good, and he will only hurt you. He has a fucking wife … he would do the same to you, if given a chance. He doesn't respect you, and I bet that when his wife rolls into town, he will ask you to leave."

"He wouldn't do that … he wants a divorce," Izzy whispered the last little bit. I wasn't one who sat and talked about the women I screwed or married.

"Please, Bella. I would love you and be faithful to you. I would never hurt you," Jake whispered. I peeked around the corner to see him pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Please stop," Izzy said, pushing his hands away from her hair and face.

Jake grabbed her chin, lifting it to his face and kissed her. I fucking died in an instant. I don't know why I didn't run into the opening and pull his fucking ass off her, but it wouldn't have mattered because once Jake pulled back from the kiss, Izzy fucking reared back and punched him right in the fucking nose. Blood poured from his nose instantly, and he staggered back, losing his balance, and sliding down the wall as he held onto his nose.

"I told you to stop," Izzy said, gagging. That was something else about her. She couldn't stand the smell of blood. It would make her sick and cause her to pass out. She ran out of the opening and straight into me. Just as I grabbed her arms, she collapsed. I scooped her up and walked into the opening, letting Jake see me or what he could of me. I didn't say a word. She had taken care of herself and had done what I would have except I would have made him look worse. I guess, in a way, she saved me the trouble because I would have beat him to a pulp for touching her. He wasn't off the hook yet, but about the only thing I would do at this point was threaten him.

I ran with Izzy in my arms down to the first floor, where our room was located. I thanked Mike mentally for complaining about not getting any sleep if we all stayed on the same floor in this moment. I didn't know if I was going to be able to be on the same floor as Jake after what happened.

Pulling the key out of my pocket proved to be a little hard as I tried to not move Izzy that much in my arms. She still hadn't come to yet, and I didn't want to shake her up either. I finally got the key out and into the lock. Once I turned the key, I pushed the door open to deposit her on the bed. Once she was settled, I moved into the bathroom and wet a washcloth. I came back to her side, rubbing the rag around her face and forehead, hoping this would bring her around. It took ten minutes of rubbing her for her eyes to finally flutter open.

"You're back," I whispered, smiling crookedly. I was so relieved. She had me worried, thinking I was going to have to call a doctor or someone to check on her.

"What happened?" she asked, rubbing her forehead.

"You fainted," I replied, not knowing whether or not I should tell her about Jake, just in case she didn't remember.

"Oh, my God," she said, placing her hand over her mouth. "I told him to stop, but he didn't listen. I swear, Edward. I didn't want him to kiss me, but he did," she cried, grabbing my shirt, begging me to understand.

"Shh, baby, I know. I was in the hallway and heard the whole exchange. Well, the majority of the exchange, I think."

"Thank you … I didn't want to lose you because of some kiss that meant nothing to me." She sobbed, pulling me closer to her body and cried into my shirt.

I sat with Bella in my arms for half an hour until someone knocked on the door. I figured it was one of the crew or Tink bring our things that I had haphazardly left laying in the lobby of the hotel. I eased Izzy down to the mattress and opened the door. It was just as I assumed. Jasper stood there with our things and nodded his head at me. He probably already knew what happened from both Alice and Jake. This was Jasper's way of letting me know. I thanked him and closed the door.

Izzy's tears had finally dried out. I think the real reason she was upset was because she had hurt someone else. Not only was Izzy fearlessly protective, independent, and sometimes smothering to others, she also had a soft spot and didn't really want to hurt people whether it's with words or fists. This was something else we had discussed while on the road. Trust me, when you're not getting laid and the girl you love wants to talk, there isn't anything else to do besides listen. I loved everything she ever said and hung on every word, unless it was when she was telling me what to do, which wasn't often. Actually, she sounded like my mother when she would scold me for leaving the seat up on the toilet. However, with her, I tried to listen.

When Izzy finally fell asleep, after getting a headache from the fainting spell and crying her eyes out; I slid into the bathroom for a couple of lines to relax me. I needed something to make me feel better, and it hit the spot nicely. I looked in the mirror and studied my image for a few moments. It seemed like I was getting older by the minute. Tiny little lines forming in places I never had them before, which didn't really bother me per se, but I could see the effects of the partying and yak had on my body.

After this tour … no more, I thought. I needed to come off the stuff. It wasn't like it was a problem, really. I could take it or leave it. But, one thing's for certain, I had to start thinking differently. It was in that moment that I gave up my dreams of being a big time rock star and decided to ride out the last little bit of this tour. I would take the remaining money I made and royalties from the record … whatever that would be and get Izzy and me something. Something to start our lives on … something so she could finish school and become all the things she talked about while on the road. I needed and wanted to change for her, for us. I wanted us together, and if it meant throwing the shit in the trash and walking away from the band and the tour, I would in a fucking heartbeat … I would for her.

The light knock broke me from my thoughts and shifted my body into overdrive, getting the mess cleaned up.

"One minute," I yelled.

"Hurry up. I need to pee," she yelled back. I chuckled while wiping down the counter and checked my nose one more time to make sure I didn't have any residue on it. Once I was happy, I splashed a little water on my face and opened the door to a beautiful, rumpled girl, who pushed by me and went straight to the toilet. She pulled her pants down, but never showed me anything. It was rather disappointing that all the times I had finger fucked her, I still hadn't see her pussy yet, but at least we had made it that far. It was better than nothing.

She sat on the toilet for a few minutes, doing nothing, but sitting there looking at me. I guess I couldn't take the hint that she didn't want me in the bathroom while she peed.

"Out," she said, pointing toward the door. I thought it was funny she couldn't do anything in front of me. I had no shame. The only thing I couldn't do in front of her was put the junk up my nose. Other than that … I could do it all piss, fart, or even shit, and it didn't phase me one damn bit. It did bother her though sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, and she would get all pissy about it. I thought it was cute really when she would fuss, but that was who she was, and I loved every damn minute of it.

Heading out of the bathroom, I grabbed a smoke and kicked back to see what was on TV. As I surfed through the channels, I heard the shower turn on. I think I actually started bouncing my leg at the sounds. Izzy always showered in the morning, but when I started touching her body, I noticed she would always shower before she came to me. I knew what the shower running potentially meant, and God if I wasn't looking forward to it. I found a happy ending every time I played with her body. I used the friction from the bed, cover, or my jeans to get the results I wanted without disrespecting her wishes to wait. I wasn't happy about it, but I accepted her terms. Blowing my load in my pants wasn't all that fun, but I would take that over nothing any day of the fucking week.

After our first finger fucking session in Rosemont, things had increased. She always let me go a little further, but still refused on removing her panties. In St. Louis, she wanted to touch my cock; I didn't care. I stripped everything off that night, hoping she would take the hint and let me see all of her, but she didn't. That night though was the first night she jacked me off, and God it felt good with her little hands wrapped around me. Hell, just thinking about it had my cock harder than steel, and she wasn't even done in the shower yet. I jumped from the bed and rushed to pull off my clothes. Hopping back in bed, I pulled the covers over my body. She wouldn't notice anything was missing until she climbed in, parking her ass next to mine or pulled the covers back far enough. I slept in my briefs every night so I wouldn't scare her in the morning with my anaconda; the briefs held the snake in place or held it back some. I snickered at my thoughts.

"What's so funny?" she asked from the doorway of the bathroom, only wrapped in towel. I didn't pray as often as I should, but in that moment, I prayed that she didn't have any panties under that towel.

"Amen," I said aloud, knowing she probably heard me, but I was totally shameless at the moment.

"Were you praying?" she asked, skeptical.

"Yeah," I responded as she walked closer and closer to the bed. I wanted to get out of the bed, run over to her, and race right back to bed with her in my arms. I felt like a seventeen year old hormonally charged kid or a kid with ten dollars at the candy store. I couldn't be bothered by which one at the moment, both were a good idea of the excitement I felt.

"I didn't know you were religious or prayed for that matter," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed. I wanted to reach for her, but I didn't want to assume or scare her in any way. She was running the show really; I was just the willing contestant, ready for whatever she would give.

"I'm not really religious, but I had to thank God for sending me an angel," I said. I pulled that one out of my ass quickly. It wasn't that she wasn't an angel because she was, but it sounded really fucking good.

"Edward …" she scooted closer to me, but hadn't gotten under the covers yet "… I was wondering. Well, Jessi said something about it, and I was wondering if maybe you might … it's stupid really." She stopped talking, and I had to know what she wanted.

"What baby? I will give you anything." I reached up pushing her wet hair away from her face.

"It's just … shit … she said it feels really good, and we would both like it," she stammered. I mouthed the words 'Thank you'. I think I know what she wanted, but still wasn't all that sure.

"Tell me where?" I asked because I wanted to make sure this was moving us in a closer direction of eventually having sex, but I didn't think it was going to be tonight. She had just started taking those pills a couple of days ago, so I knew she wasn't ready for it yet. But, I knew of something else that would make her see stars.

Izzy turned two different colors of red before she looked at me.

"Oral," she whispered. I heard her plain as day, but I had to tease her a little.

"What did you say?" I asked, cupping my ear and made her say the words louder. When she did, I muttered, "That's what I thought you said."

"You do realize you can't have your panties on while I do that right?" I asked. Izzy wasn't dumb, and I didn't mean it to sound that way, but I was talking to a girl who, when it came to anything about sex, female issues, or anything along those lines, turns into a mute who wouldn't show me anything. I didn't want this to end before it even got started.

"I know," she whispered. My cock got harder, knowing I would finally be able to look at her pussy, I already had cum leaking out the tip just anticipating the view. Hell, I think I was drooling, too.

I pulled her body down closer to mine. I wanted to look, but if she was still uncomfortable, I would allow her to get under the covers. At least maybe somewhere in her mind, she would think as the cover as her shield, but I would still have access to her.

Leaning down, I kissed her sweetly at first … a few light kisses, getting her to open up for me and turning her on. When she opened her mouth readily, I slipped my tongue in and kissed her almost breathless. As I pulled back from the kiss, I could see the glazed over look in her eyes. She was ready and prime for the taking.

I eased my hands down to the towel and where it was wrapped around her body. Breathing in deeply, I started unwrapping the towel from around her. I looked into her eyes as the towel finally gave way. I wanted to look, but I wanted to give her a moment to adjust to the new situation she found herself in. When I felt she was ready, I would have my look. She gulped when I let the towel go at her sides, but never broke eye contact. That was the best sign in the world; usually she would look down like she was ashamed of her body, but tonight she didn't.

Taking that as my approval to look, I looked down. First, it was her tits, and they were perfect and made for my hands. I placed my hands on both of them. I was always a greedy fucker at times and when it came to things like this; I didn't want to touch one … I wanted both. I weighed each breast in my hands, palming her raised peaks. I loved doing this to her. She always moaned, and it was the sexiest most erotic thing in the world to me. She arched her back, shoving her tits into my hands. Apparently, I wasn't the only greedy one here. I rolled her nipples between my thumb and index finger as I looked to the promise land.

My mouth wasn't the only thing drooling when I looked at her. My cock picked that very moment to twitch and leak more than it had previously. I looked up into Izzy's eyes and licked my fucking lips because I wanted her on my mouth just as bad as I wanted inside of her.

Pulling my eyes from hers, I noticed the blush that now ran over the tops of her breasts and down to her stomach. I never knew a blush could go that far. I wanted it all though.

"Spread you legs," I demanded. She didn't do it right away, and I had to pull away from her breasts to gently ease her into opening them. As I skimmed my fingers through her curls, she let her legs fall open like I wanted. I moved to the end of the bed to get into position. I sat on my knees, watching as her pussy glistened in the lights of the room. Rubbing my fingers down her slit, I gathered her juices. She was a mess in front of me. Not only was she wiggling on the bed from me touching her, but more moisture gathered at her entrance. I growled, slipping my fingers into my mouth, moaning around them as her taste assaulted my tongue.

Diving straight in, I couldn't hold myself back. It was like I was man without water on a desert island and she was the drink I craved. I used my tongue to stroke her clit, causing her to thrash and moan above me. I was relentless and didn't give up on my target, sucking the shallow nub into my mouth. I was a fucking animal and used my finger to circle her pussy as my tongue lapped, sucked, and flicked. Her body pushed and pulled, but she was moving too much for my liking. I used my left arm to hold her lower body down as I lavished her pussy with my tongue.

She couldn't move her hips anymore with my arm draped over her, but reached down with her hands and pulled my face tighter –closer to her pussy, grinding it into my face. I was in fucking heaven. Heaven between her thighs, buried eyes deep in the pink promise land of Izzy, and loving every fucking minute of it. I hummed and moaned along her clit as my finger slipped in out of her body. I ground my cock against the mattress, looking for something to ease the ache I felt there. It was both heaven and hell for me. I was torn, heaven between her thighs, and hell with my cock, which wanted to be buried balls deep inside of her- loving her- fucking her. I ground my body harder … thrusting into the mattress below, sucking her clit and nibbling at it with my teeth, causing her inner walls to squeeze my finger. I knew she was about to cum. I gently eased another finger into her body, knowing I had to be careful with her, but knowing she needed something else to bring on her release. I had just barely gotten my finger into her body when I grunted as my own body came on the sheets below. It was then she too exploded around my face, drenching my mouth and chin with cum. I pulled away from her clit and pussy slowly as she continued to squirt cum out of her body. I was a little proud of myself in that moment, watching her body's reactions to me, I had never seen another female have that type of response before, and actually, I thought it was a myth, but she pulled it off. I felt like the Grinch that stole Christmas … my heart grew three sizes and the love I felt for her in that moment, huge. I almost told her I loved her in that fucking moment, but I bit my tongue before I could.

Izzy rested heavily on the mattress, panting for her breath. I stood from the bed and pulled the covers and towel out from under her body. She didn't move or even reply as I fixed her side of the bed with a towel under her ass to soak up the mess she had made. Once she was fixed and under the covers, I crawled in behind her, loving how her flesh felt on my own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another chapter and our couple are moving forward, I hope. Edward has admitted to himself that he is in love with her, but has yet to admit it to her. Jake was a real pain here … he has his moments of being a lifesaver and a pain in the ass (a little foreshadowing here). I don't know what to do with Bella in the future yet, and I'm wrestling with myself over one thing … but it won't really matter until the follow-up story. Going to work out more chapters ... don't forget to leave a review! I appreciate each and every one. ;)


	8. Feel Like Making Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Feel Like Making Love-Bad Company
> 
> Warning: This story will have drug use, alcohol abuse, and graphic situations. It will also delve into underage sex. Bella will be seventeen, and Edward is twenty-four. Remember this story is about becoming famous, and people that follow them around while on tour. Please be advised if this is not something you wish to read please back out now.

Chapter 8

Feel Like Making Love

BPOV

When I thought about Edward, I thought about how much I loved him already, but wasn't ready to admit it yet. After last night's events, I felt so fucking alive. I was ready for anything that Edward could give me. While standing in the shower, I decided it was time. I was in love with him and wanted to give him every inch of my body. It was just a matter of deciding when I wanted to allow this to happen. I didn't want candles, flowers, or all the mushy stuff. I just wanted him in every sense of the word. I closed my eyes as the spray from the shower massaged my muscles and thought about how his mouth had felt between my legs. I was getting aroused just thinking of those things.

Thank God, Jessi had overheard Tink and me talking about having sex with our guys. Apparently, Tink was just as nervous as I was about the whole thing, but Jessi told us about other things we could do that were just as fun and would calm some of our nerves in regards to the whole act. I didn't believe her at first. I knew she was experienced, but I thought some of the things she talked about were a little out there. I had never heard of boys doing those kinds of things to a girl before. I didn't know if I was going to be able to suggest something like that to Edward to begin with. I couldn't wait to get Tink alone and ask her if she tried and what she thought about it.

I wouldn't have time to talk to Tink today because today was travel day, once again. I stepped out of the shower and dried off, putting on some jeans and a sweater. It was the middle of winter here in Ohio, and it was extremely cold. I briefly wondered what it would be like to be on tour during the summer and immediately decided that was something I didn't want any part of. 'Old Bertha' was what we had called the tour bus that chauffeured us back and forth between shows and wasn't the warmest bus. So I figured if the heat didn't work all that great, I bet the air condition wouldn't work either.

As I walked out of the shower, Edward was pulling the bags onto his shoulders. He looked up to me smiling.

"I think I have everything, except what you used during your shower," he said as I walked over to him and placed my things in my bag I had just used. Just as I was about to walk away, he pulled me into his arms, nuzzling into my neck.

"I love the way you smell after your shower," he hummed. I giggled as I felt his nose run underneath my ear. Edward pulled away, looking in my face like he wanted to tell me something important. Instead, he leaned down and kissed my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. My shower already had my mind reeling, and I wanted the kissing to lead to more things soon, very soon. The knock on the door alerted us that it was time to check out of the hotel, breaking the spell he had on me. Reaching down, he grabbed my hand and lead me out the door.

The first leg of the trip was boring. Edward and I had been lucky enough to score the seat in the back, where it was a bench seat. I could practically lie in his lap as the miles disappeared behind us. He stroked my hair and looked into my eyes. Several times he looked like he was getting ready to say something, but he would never utter the words.

When the bus stopped for dinner, Edward rushed me out of the diner very quickly, trying to make sure we got the seat in the back; it was something every couple on the bus fought over. Thank God, I had used the restroom before heading into the diner. Tink, Jessi, and Rose were still in the restroom when Edward dragged me out. Once back in our seats, he kissed me, lighting the fires deep within my body. I moaned as his tongue tangled with my own, needing him to do something to ease the ache I now had between my legs. He pulled away from the kiss and reached for the blanket we had with us. He quickly spread the blanket across both our bodies.

"You have to be quiet … do you think you can do that?" he asked, looking deep into my eyes. I was so mesmerized that I quickly nodded without thinking of what he was going to do to me.

Edward's hands slipped under the blanket, and I felt them pulling at the button of my jeans. I reached down, stopping his hands as the bus filled with others while looking into his eyes. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Just keep quiet and no one will know what is going on back here."

He unzipped my zipper and pushed his hands into my panties. When his fingers made contact with my clit, I bit my lip trying to hold back the sounds I wanted to make as his fingers circled the nub. He gazed into my eyes the entire time as his fingers played my body. It was hard not showing him my appreciation of his talented fingers. I only hoped my eyes showed him how much I loved what he was doing to me.

His fingers circled my entrance, causing me to whimper a little. 'Sorry,' he mouthed to me. I could only assume he had added more than I was used to, but it didn't matter how many he added because his thumb skillfully circled my clit. I could feel the building of my climax in the pit of my stomach. I watched Edward's eyes as they darkened as the feeling inside of me increased. He licked his lips and lowered his head to mine. As his lips touched my own, my orgasm washed over me with Edward swallowing the sounds of my moans. He lightly stroked me as I recovered. I reached for his hand, pulling it from my sensitive body. Quickly, he placed his fingers in his mouth, quietly moaning and winking at me. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks, knowing what he had done last night.

"Soon," he promised as he lifted me out of his way so he could use the bathroom on the bus. I knew what was happening in that little cramped up room, but didn't bother to call him out on it, nor did I disturb him. I did want to ask if he needed help. Hell, I wanted to slip his cock into my own mouth, but I had to consult with Jessi first. At least she had some experience in that area.

After our little blanket session and Edward's return from the restroom, I curled up on his lap and slept the remainder of the way to Lexington, Kentucky.

~AASS~

Lexington wasn't the best of times for the band during this whole tour. Actually, Lexington had to be the worst stop because the boys were made to perform after hours of rushing to get here. On top of that, right as the main act took the stage, we were shuttled off again to our next stop in East Rutherford, New Jersey. One more step closer to the photo shoot with Rolling Stone and the dreaded meeting with the record label.

I would have given anything to take Edward's spot in the meeting, but it wasn't about me. It was about the band or, at least, he hoped. I knew he had the weight of the band resting on his shoulders. If only Garrett could understand that it was never his intentions to be in the spotlight as he had thought. I often wondered if someone was feeding his head with these thoughts. Surely, he should know Edward better than anyone and would know none of the things going on were his doing, but it didn't matter. I knew a fight was coming, and it was just a matter of time before the whole band suffered the consequences.

The girls and I hung out on the bus as the show played behind us. It was then that Tink said she hadn't worked up the courage to ask Jasper about it yet. She was of no use in the blow job department either because Jasper refused to allow her to try. I thought that was very noble, but why not allow the woman you proclaim to love satisfy you in that way too. I hoped Edward wouldn't keep me from trying. I quickly strolled over to Jessi, who was sitting back with her headphones and walkman. I nudged her shoulder and pointed to the seat beside of her. Jessi slipped off her headphones and both of us talked for at least an hour. When the others overheard our conversation, they joined us and listened to the art of blow jobs.

It was a little weird to be talking about these things, but how else was I going to learn? There was only one thing Jessi didn't cover in all of her instructions and that was 'what if' your man was on the larger size. It was throwing my brain for a loop on how I would be able to take the whole thing in my mouth. Hell, I gag on a Popsicle stick if I put it too far back, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Edward was definitely bigger than a Popsicle. When I asked how one would go about pleasing someone of a bigger size, I think every girl on the bus had eyes the size of softballs. I giggled because more than likely it meant they had never seen anything bigger than the normal size. Jessi couldn't even offer me any help, and I was still at a loss. I figured I would use some of the things I learned and adapt the best way I could. That was how I had made it this far on my own, practically.

When the boys finally boarded the bus again, I had retained our seating in the back and motioned Edward towards me. He looked so fucking exhausted. So it was his turn to rest in my lap as I stroked his hair. I was fighting sleep myself, rubbing his hair, but he still wasn't asleep yet. I think some of the drugs he used kept him from being able to sleep. I could only hope that he would stop using them. If things went well with the meeting and the band was allowed on the second leg of the tour, I was going to ask him to stop. It broke my heart to see him like this.

As the sun rose in the sky and miles flashed before our eyes, he noticed I was having a hard time staying awake. He moved me so that, once again, I was resting nestled in his lap.

"What do you want to do with your life?" he asked, playing with my hair.

"I want to finish school," I replied, trying to wake myself up a little to talk to him.

"How much longer do you have?"

"I had just entered my senior year before we left. So just a matter of months, but I don't know if the school will let me back this year. I have already missed a lot of days." Edward looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Are you planning on going to college?" he asked.

"I hope so, but like I said, everything is hanging on me finishing high school first," I said giggling. It was wild to think that I was supposed to be in high school, but was on tour with a band. Then, add the factor that my boyfriend was older than me and a rock star.

"What do you plan on doing if this music thing doesn't work out?" I asked. Edward rubbed his hands through his hair, thinking over his answer.

"Is it bad that I am already over the whole 'Rock Star' persona?" he asked. I shook my head because I knew he wasn't one for the attention.

"See that's the problem with me. I love the music … writing new songs and playing, but this tour … I don't want it anymore. Actually, I would give anything to go back to Seattle and play gigs at shitty bars."

"I can see going back to simple times. I often wish for a simple life." I didn't know what would happen once the tour was over, but I wasn't going back to Renee and Phil. However, I didn't know if Edward would want me to stay with him and what kind of life we would have.

"Would you study music when you go to college?" he asked, kissing my forehead.

"Maybe … it's a passion of mine really and one of the reasons I'm on this tour bus with you," I said, smiling at him.

"Thank God for that." He leaned down and kissed me, making me forget our conversation. When he pulled back from our kiss, he leaned against the back of the bench, finally shutting his eyes. I didn't say a word and closed my own eyes, letting the miles pass by as sleep took over my body.

~AASS~

It took us twenty hours to get from Lexington to East Rutherford. It shouldn't have taken that long, but 'Old Bertha' broken down somewhere in West Virginia, and it took a little while to get the parts. However, that little pause in riding was a blessing because Edward and I used the cramped bathroom for more than freshening up. He pulled me into the little area and shoved me against the make shift sink, kissing me like he would never kiss me again a day in his life. I didn't mind, but it ignited the ache in my crotch. He noticed and quickly worked off a leg of my jeans to soothe the problem I now had.

Within seconds, he was on his knees in front of me with my panties pulled to the side and my leg thrown over his shoulder, working me into a puddle of goo. It was just as good as the first time he had tasted me, and a part of me knew that if sex wasn't ever any good for me that this would more than make up for it. It was just a matter of hanging onto the man that would have me screaming his name at the top of my lungs as my climax burst through my body. It was the first time I had ever been so vocal. Every other time was a quiet affair. If not for my little whimpers and moans, no one would know, but Edward reached something inside of me that had me shouting his talents.

When we walked out the bathroom though, the whole bus was clapping and smiling in our direction. I turned into his arms and buried my head. I knew I blushed all the way down to the tops of my feet. Emmett teased me relentlessly, and Jake wouldn't even look in my direction. Edward ushered me over to our seats and once again, the bus was moving.

Jake not looking at me was a good thing, I guessed, because I was still pissed at him for trying to kiss me in the hallway. I shouldn't have even followed him, but he acted like he needed my opinion on a present he had bought for his sisters. I didn't mind giving him an opinion, but when he pushed me into an open corner, things turned ugly very quickly. I didn't even remember hitting him or fainting as blood poured out of his nose. Edward seemed to think a lot of it stemmed from an adrenaline rush, but I couldn't be sure. It was the first time I had ever blacked out before fainting.

When the bus pulled into to New Jersey, Edward and I were the first off the bus, heading straight to our room. The band didn't have a set tonight because of the extended stay in Lexington and was given the night off, so to speak. Everyone wanted to party, but Edward and I opted to stay in our room. I pulled out my things for a shower because I wasn't getting into bed with Edward smelling like shit. He smiled and quickly picked up the phone to call his mother. I giggled; I had never seen a person who made sure that they contacted their mother every time they stopped or did something new, but Edward did. I was told once by a wise woman on my block that if a boy treats his mother with respect, then he was a keeper because more than likely he would treat you the same. It warmed my heart, but it also made me wonder if Edward was potentially a mama's boy. Now, this concerned me because I had heard negative things about those types too. Apparently, there was a different between respecting one's mother and being stuck up her ass; Edward was border lining on this quality.

I headed on to the shower because at this point in our relationship, it didn't really matter if he wanted to talk to his mom every day of the fucking week. I knew nothing about his parents at all, and she might actually be the nicest lady on the block for all I knew. I didn't have to worry about it until I meet them really. I quickly showered and dressed to head back into the room, but when I entered, Edward was gone. I didn't think he had plans on leaving the room, but assumed that he was out getting something to eat.

Hours passed before Edward stumbled into the room reeking of booze and looked high as a fucking kite. Here it was I thought he was doing so well. I didn't move a muscle as he climbed into the bed as the sun was rising in the sky. I did, however, cry myself to sleep, worried that he might not be alive when I woke later in the day.

Only sleeping a few hours wasn't good for anyone, but I hoped that being young would help. I grabbed a couple cups of coffee for Edward and myself. Just as I was leaving the lobby, James grabbed me, pushing me up against the wall.

"God, you are a sweet little thing," he said, nuzzling in my neck as I tried to pull away from him. I had always thought James was a sleaze, and now he just solidified that thought.

"Get off of me," I said. I would have pushed him, but I would have spilt the coffee I had for Edward and myself in the process.

"Tell me why Edward hasn't been coming to see me?" he demanded, like I had anything to do with Edward buying drugs from him.

"I don't know why. Why don't you ask him yourself?" I huffed, pushing passed him without spilling the drinks in my hand. However, he grabbed my elbow and led me down the hall. He stopped abruptly, causing a little of my coffee to spill on my hand and burning it.

"I know you were probably snorting that magic dust up your nose too, and I come to offer you a better deal," he cooed, running his fingertips along my jaw. When he tried to rub his fingers over my lips, I snapped at him, trying to bit his damn fingers.

"Frisky one, I see," he said chuckling. "I will give you what I was giving him for half the price and a piece of you," he said. If it wasn't for those fucking coffees, I would have smacked him across the face. First of all, for implying or thinking I was sucking that shit up my nose. Then because he thought I would really be with someone like him, let alone cheat on Edward.

I didn't even have to worry about doing anything because Edward was on top of him within minutes. I never even saw him standing there and assumed he was still in our room. I quickly dropped the fucking coffees because I had to get Edward off him before he ended up killing the slimy sucker for touching me. It took everything I had plus Jasper and even Emmett to pull him off James, who was a bloody mess on the floor. I ran down the hall and straight back to our room. I had to get out of there before the sight and smell caused me to pass out again.

I stormed through the doors of our room, standing at the end of the bed, trying to take some deep breaths to clear my head. When the door slammed behind me, I about jumped out of my fucking skin.

"Why does every fucking man on this damn tour want what I fucking have?" he screamed. I stood there shocked. I had never seen Edward this mad before.

"What is so fucking special about you?" he sneered. The tears streamed down my face … here it comes, the one thing I had dreaded every since that moment in Detroit. I still didn't answer, not knowing how to respond to him.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the mirror. That was when I looked into his eyes, and for the first time since I had known Edward, they were a wild green. It wasn't the color I would associate with calm, peace, or even lust though. It was hard to explain. When he was high, usually his eyes were almost black; his pupils would be so dilated. Now, with him looking directly at me through the mirror, they were almost hazel. They were a cross between blue, green, and a brown.

"Answer me, damn it," he demanded.

"I … don't … know," I whispered. I don't know why anyone wanted me. It wasn't like I was anything special really. I don't think it had anything to do with the reasons James wanted me. James was just looking to score any way humanly possible. Jake was another issue altogether though. I knew he genuinely liked me as a person.

"How do you not fucking know? You're fucking beautiful, Izzy, and all these assholes want you to be with them," he confessed.

"I don't know why they like me. With James … it wasn't about the looks per se, Edward. He wanted to make a sale … said you weren't coming to him anymore and assumed I was your hooker junkie," I spat. That part pissed me off. I wasn't some common fucking whore, and I wasn't a fucking druggie.

"That's right because the precious Bella is too perfect to be a whore or a junkie," Edward spat right back at me. That was the first time I ever heard him call me by my real name. It was heartbreaking to think this was all I would get.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked, turning from the mirror to look him in the eye. I wanted to know what the fuck his problem was. It all started last night after he called his damn mother.

"You can't even begin to understand, little girl. I have adult problems that have nothing to do with you." He stood and walked to the door. He was always walking away from me when shit would get crazy.

"Fucking go, Edward, but find someone else to sleep next to tonight because I'm done with this shit. You're high all the fucking time … shoving that shit up your God damn nose. I begged you in Detroit to let me go if you were only going to break my heart," I cried. I was pissed at him for the words he had said to me. Calling me a little girl was the icing on the cake. I guessed I wasn't so little when I was his play thing. He had his back to me, but I wasn't about to let him walk out this time. I grabbed my bag, throwing it over my shoulder, and left the fucking room with him standing there watching me. It fucking figured he hadn't anything more to say to me.

"I knew it was too good to be fucking true," I muttered as I walked out of our room and down the hall.

I knocked on Tink's door. When she saw the fact that I was crying and had my things, she quickly let me in. I didn't feel like explaining everything to her and just crawled into the bed. I had a headache, and I felt sick. It wasn't like us girls had to go to the show tonight. Tink crawled in behind me and gathered me in her arms. She just held me while I cried.

~AASS~

It was still dark outside when I finally woke up. Tink wasn't in the room with me anymore, so I assumed she had gone to the see the show with the others. I just couldn't do it at the moment. Walking over to the bathroom, I never saw Jasper sitting in the dark. I screamed when he cleared his throat.

"You scared the shit out of me," I said, grabbing my chest and trying to calm my breathing down.

"It wasn't my intention of scaring you. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute before the guys arrive. Alice is taking care of getting them back to the hotel for me."

"Can you give me a minute?" I said, motioning towards the bathroom. I really did have to pee. Jasper nodded his head, and I quickly walked toward the bathroom. Maybe he was going to tell me to leave the tour, but I wouldn't think Tink or any of the others girls would allow something like that to happen to me. If it made Edward uncomfortable to be around me, I might not have a choice. I finished quickly and walked back out into the room.

Sitting down in the chair beside him, I was ready to listen or plead my case, which ever I needed to do in the moment.

"You're aware that Edward has a drug problem, right?" he asked. I nodded because I was fully aware.

"Good, at least you noticed. Umm, do you know that I'm about the only person besides you that Edward talks to? He doesn't associate with the others in the band anymore, and to tell you the truth, this tour is tearing them apart as a group. All that mess doesn't really matter here, now. I have been let go of my services here on this tour, and once we get in New York, I will no longer be their manager. Once I head back to LA, Edward will essentially not have anyone on his side of things anymore. This is where you come in."

"Why aren't they keeping you?" I asked.

"Records aren't selling, Izzy … simple as that. Trust that I'm not the only one getting fired here."

"They want Edward to go solo," I mused, remembering his words.

"Pretty much, and Aro will do anything in his power to have that. He has wanted it from the moment he saw them at 'The Whiskey'. Edward and I both pushed for the entire band to be included, but with the animosity and someone feeding Garrett a pack of lies … well it's only making the record label that much more determined to eliminate the others. Garrett has talent, but he lacks a certain selling aspect the record label is looking for, and the others, well, unless they plan on joining another band, they are pretty much a studio artists to them and to them, replaceable."

"That won't work out well … Edward doesn't like the spotlight. He doesn't want that kind of attention or notoriety."

"I know, but that's what is going to happen whether he likes it or not. He does have a choice though or so I have heard." Jasper rolled his eyes, but I don't think either of us believes for one second that Edward would really have a choice.

"Now, onto the drug problem and the reason he has been rather ill lately. A couple of days ago, Edward came to me, telling me he was planning on coming off the coke. He said it wasn't a problem, but we all know that stuff is hard to shake. Edward is experiencing withdrawals from the cocaine, but he has been using pills. Pain pills and sleeping pills to keep him from going through it too bad, but there will be times his temper will become a problem."

"Taking pills isn't going to make things better for him. He needs to check himself into rehab or something," I said with tears streaming down my face. I knew he had a problem, but never thought it was that bad. However, I never really knew how much he was doing, only that he was doing stuff.

"He's going to need help and more than any of us can give him, but he can't do it now, not with us still being on tour. It will look bad, and even if the band turned everything around in the next two weeks, which I doubt they will, I couldn't advise him to do so. It would end his career, not to mention the fact that he has to want the help. He's made the effort, but he needs to want it more than he wants air to breath. Do you understand?" he asked. I knew that there was no way we would be able to force him into getting help. I hoped maybe something I could say or do would be the driving force.

"Try to give him time and be there for him. Between the drugs, record label, and his immediate family, he has a lot to deal with, and then he has you," Jasper said, winking. Jasper walked to the door and was about to leave.

"He will always have me ... if he wants me," I whispered, lowering my head.

"Trust me, Izzy; he wants you more than anything else in this world. You're the reason he wants to get better." Jasper smiled at me, walking out the door.

I was feeling like shit that Edward had all these major issues and yet my only concern was about the things he had said to me while he was upset. I wondered what Jasper meant about immediate family? Had Edward said something to him about getting a divorce from Kate? So many questions and no one to answer them for me. I stepped into the shower, hoping that once the show was over, Edward would come and get me, but I still wasn't sure. I did things to keep my mind from thinking about whether or not he would show and put together a scrapbook of pictures that I had taken while on tour. It was something I would carry with me forever and remember what life was like on the road with the band.

I placed the book down into my bag when I finished adding the last photo to my collection. I pulled the bag over to my side of the bed and was about to clip my nails, something I had been neglecting for a while now, when a knock pulled me from rummaging through my purse. I crossed my fingers, hoping it was him. Surely, Jasper or Tink would have used the key. I stopped by the mirror to make sure I didn't look all puffy from crying all night, and then proceeded to open the door.

Edward stood there, looking down at the floor. He was sweaty and tired. You could tell he had a rough night on stage, and all I wanted to do was to pull him into my arms and hug him, show him how much I truly loved him.

We may have stood in the doorway for hours or even mere minutes. All I knew was I didn't want to let go when he hugged me. I never wanted to let go. I knew that we needed to talk about things, and he needed to open up and be honest. In that moment, all was right in the world. We pulled away from our embrace, and he walked into the room, gathering my bags and placing them on his shoulder. Neither one of us spoke when he walked back over to the door. He didn't even have to turn around to make sure I was following him. I would follow him anywhere he wanted me to. I would put off the rest of my life to give him everything he wanted or needed.

He opened the door to our room and allowed me to enter before him. Once we were secure behind the door, Edward lightly pushed me to the wall. His lips were on mine within a matter of seconds, and the kiss was better than the last. It seems our kisses got better and better as time progressed. He pulled back from the kiss and looked into my eyes.

"I want to be better for you. Please know I'm trying, no matter what happens." I was completely dazzled; he wanted to be better for me … that had to mean something, right?

I stood on my toes and leaned into his lips for another kiss. This kiss was passionate and chalked full of longing. I wanted him in the worst way. His body pushed up against mine, pressing me further into the wall behind me, and I could feel how aroused he was from our kisses. His hardness was pressed into my stomach and within a matter of minutes, I knew what I wanted.

"Make love to me," I whispered, pulling away from his lips.

"What?" he asked, pulling back to look into my face.

"You heard me … take me … make me yours," I purred. I was so turned on by our kiss. The information Jasper had given to me about him wanting to change because of me added to the fact that he asked me to bear with him.

"Are you sure? Because once I start, I don't think I will be able to stop," he whispered into my ear as he nipped on my earlobe.

"Take me, please," I begged as his lips continued to nibble working down my neck. I was completely gone.

Edward ran his hands down to the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. Once the shirt was discarded to the floor behind him, he kissed down my collar and into my cleavage, pushing my breasts together as he licked my body. As his mouth approached the clasp in the front of my boobs, he made quick work, using his tongue and teeth to get the clasp undone. The bra fell away from my body as Edward pushed the straps off my shoulders. Once my tits came into view, I didn't try to hide them. I knew what seeing them did to him. It thrilled me to get him going just from a kiss or sight of my body.

As he descended down my breasts to lick at my nipples, I threaded my fingers through his hair and pulled his mouth closer to my body. Leaning my head against the wall, I closed my eyes as his mouth worked over my peaks. I moaned and groaned as he nipped and sucked, licked and pulled, rolling my nipples in his fingers making my body feel like it was on fire.

I felt like I was in fucking heaven. His hand slid down my sides, going for my button on my jeans while his mouth still worked my tits over. All I could do was lean heavily against the wall behind me as his hands dipped further and further into the front of my jeans. When his fingers grazed my swollen nub, I moaned loudly. I wanted my jeans off so I could feel him all over me. My hands were still in his hair as I held his face to my breasts. I pulled them away and pushed my jeans to the floor, causing Edward to lose contact with my nipple. I could feel the nipple harden more in the coolness of the room. Edward growled as my jeans and panties pushed away his hand that was still buried between my legs. God, he felt so fucking good, and in this moment, I wanted him more than the air I breathed.

Edward pushed me harder into the wall. He switched hands and used the other to hold onto my neck as he looked into my eyes and played my pussy like his own personal fucking Gibson. My juices were running down my leg as his fingers moved as sweat beaded on my skin. I was close, yet so fucking far away from the goal I had in mind. I thrust against his fingers, making them slide deeper into my body, pushing against a spot I never knew existed before. The moans that fell from my lips spurred him to rub harder on the place deep inside, causing my body to shake. Leaning his shoulder against my upper body, he held me in place even though it felt like my knees would give out any fucking minute.

As he flicked my left nipple with his tongue, I burst into a pile of goo in his strong arms, clinging to him as his fingers moved slower and slower inside of me, until he pulled them from my swollen core.

Resting against the wall was the only option I had because there was no way my legs could carry me over to the bed where I wanted to collapse. Edward reached down and grabbed my legs, picking me up, and walking me over to our bed. He gently laid me under the covers where they were still pulled to the side. Once in the bed, Edward walked to the bathroom, and I was content to just lie back on the bed. I hoped it wasn't over, but he hadn't agreed to anything other than the fan-fucking-tastic finger fuck he had just given me against the wall. Hell, I guess I shouldn't be totally disappointed; at least he was willing to give me that much. I rolled over, facing the window in the room, and contemplated going to sleep; I was exhausted and totally spent.

He approached the bed with a towel in his hands. When he got to my side of the bed, I rolled onto my back to look up to his emerald green eyes. Ah, the eyes that meant he was still totally horny, and when they would turn black as night … those were the eyes that meant the animal in him was about to make an appearance. There were aspects of the animal that I loved. It usually gave him a rough edge, and he would be a little harder with me in the process, which I fucking loved.

"Lift," he said, placing the towel underneath my hips.

"What's the towel for?" I asked because it was something we have never used during any of our make out sessions, and trust me, the bed was always wet afterwards. I guess Edward was tired of sleeping in the wet spot. I snickered, finding it funny that he would voluntarily sleep in it for me.

He reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. I love the way he looked with his shirt off. The tattoos that covered his body were gorgeous, but I never had him explain why he had gotten those particular tattoos. Someday soon I would ask him to explain. I was staring at them and not paying attention to what he said about the towel. He leaned down, making me look into his eyes.

"Bella," he said, looking into my eyes. This was the second time since I met him that he called me by my name. I loved it.

"Yeah," I replied, waiting for his words. I watched as his Adam's apple moved in his throat.

"You're a virgin … when I enter you for the first time … well, you're going to bleed," he said, stroking my chin. I was mesmerized by his touch and the look in his eyes.

"It's going to hurt. I can't do anything about that, but I do want you as comfortable as can be, and I don't want a mess on the bed." It was like the light bulb above my head signaled the necessity of a towel in that moment. I know I turned two shades of red from our discussion; it was always something I had a hard time talking about.

Edward pulled down his pants and briefs, exposing his cock to me. I reached up and stroked it a couple of times, feeling my own wetness gathering between my thighs. He ran his hands down my thighs and in between my legs; I spread my legs wide, allowing him the room to work.

"So fucking wet," he cooed as his fingers slid through the moisture of my kitty. His fingers entered me, making me feel full, but it still wasn't what I wanted or really needed. I pulled away from his member and reached for his arms to bring him over on top of me; I was done with fucking fingers.

He climbed on the bed, never removing his fingers from my body. They felt good, but I wanted more.

"More, I need you," I whimpered as his thumb stroked my clit.

"Patience, Bella … patience." He leaned back on his knees, spreading my legs further apart with the hand that wasn't buried knuckle deep in me. I was moaning and groaning as he played with my body, but still needed more.

"Cum for me, one more time, Bella, and I promise I will give my cock to you. But, you have to cum baby," he said, lowering his head to my pussy and taking a quick swipe of me with his tongue. Closing my eyes and focusing on how he was making me feel was causing me to become wetter and wetter. With him calling me by my real name, it was driving me crazy. I moaned as his fingers dug deeper into my body, finding that spot inside of me he had earlier. Only this time, he used his tongue and sucked at my clit; I was gone in seconds.

I was trying to catch my breath as his body slid up mine, kissing all the way to my lips. When his lips made contact with mine, I felt him there. I gasped as he pushed into me.

"I'm gonna go slow," he whispered against my lips as he kissed them once again. Pulling back from the kiss, I felt as he pushed a little more, feeling a pinch. It didn't really hurt all that much, just a pinch. Edward pushed in more until his hips were rested against my legs and stopped. I could see the sweat running down the sides of his face. Reaching out, I wiped the sweat off his brow, making him look at me. The look in his eyes swept me away. I had never in all my life seen so many emotions in his eyes. I might dare say I saw love and devotion, but I knew I was mistaken. He hadn't said anything about loving me yet, and I wasn't sure if he even did. I mainly went with my own emotions.

"So fucking tight," he moaned, throwing his head back as he pulled out of my body, only to push back in a little faster this time. I grunted as his body filled me completely. He stopped again kissing me, but this time, I made things more interesting and moved my hips, causing him to groan, but he didn't move, allowing me to grind against him and his cock.

"Stop," he grunted, biting his lip. I didn't stop…I couldn't. The friction I was creating with him...holding still was going to have me coming undone in a matter of minutes.

"I'm gonna cum if you don't stop," he moaned, thrusting into me.

"Yes," I moaned as Edward pushed in and out of my body. "More," I grunted, matching his thrusts. His hands slid down between us and rubbed circles around my clit, as his mouth latched on to my right nipple.

I was so fucking close to the edge of something, but couldn't fall over the edge no matter how hard I pushed into him. Edward bit down on my nipple lightly as he pinched my clit, causing me to explode around him. I grabbed onto his head, holding him to me as my climax washed over me. I didn't want to let go and came close to telling him how much I fucking loved him and wanted him, but I couldn't. Tears gathered in my eyes and spilled over onto my checks.

"Did I hurt you?' he asked, breaking my hold on his head, looking at me.

"No, these are happy tears," I replied, trying to wipe the tears away.

"Good, let's get you cleaned up," he said as he pulled out of me. It hurt a little. Edward walked to the bathroom and brought back a wash rag and used it to gently wipe me. When he was satisfied that I was clean, he carried everything into the bathroom. I curled up on my side of the bed and waited from him to come out.

~AASS~

Edward wanted me to come to the photo shoot for Rolling Stone. I wanted to see what would happen behind closed doors so to speak; so I went along with it. He explained that the majority of the shoot should be about him and the boys, but when two women walked in completely made up and wearing robes, I became a little nervous.

The photo shoot went well and the cameraman was funny telling the boys to make love to camera. I chuckled, but it all worked out great. The last shots were pictures of the boys with their shirts off. Mike was worried about the way his chest was going to look, Emmett flexed the muscles he had, and Edward didn't even pay much attention and quickly pulled off his shirt, comfortable showing off his body. Garrett was the same way, wanting to know if the photographer was going to work on the way he looked. Mike's ears perked up when the photographer agreed. I guess Garrett and him breathed a sigh of relief. It only took a couple of minutes to wrap everything up.

Edward was getting ready to put his shirt back on when the photographer pulled him to the side and whispered in his ear. The look on his face said it all. Edward threw the shirt onto the floor and stood there as the models came over to him. When the photographer wasn't shooting, the woman would hang all over his body. Edward would grimace as the girls touched him.

I wasn't very happy, but I would have taken this groping any day compared to what happened next. He was lead into another part of the studio that looked like a couch and bed. It was darkly lit, and the women stripped down exposing their breasts to both Edward and anyone else in the room. I watched standing behind the photographer and several others. It was a train wreck waiting to happen. I was fucking pissed, sick, and so over the whole fucking shoot. Thank God, it was over within forty minutes, but the photographer kept Edward to take a couple of individual shot of him holding a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a couple of him and his guitar.

After the shoot and meeting, Edward led me out into the brisk New Jersey weather. I shivered as the wind blew through me. He pulled me closer and walked me down the street to our hotel. I didn't like the day's events, but our evening turned out to be something special. I wanted to know what Aro had planned for him, but he didn't want to discuss it. He wanted our time to be special, and he needed my support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: She couldn't wait any longer. The lemons seen in the last couple of chapters will probably be all that is included in this story. I might try to put another, but don't know for sure at the moment. We are approaching rough waters, and things are about to get a little bumpy. Remember, keep following. You will want to see where this story goes I promise.


	9. Mother In Law Outtake #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Mother in Law- Ernie K Doe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading and supporting this wonderful cause.

Almost a Shooting Star

Outtake #1

Outtake: Chapter 7 Mama Told Me Not To Come

Mother in Law

Esme's POV

Getting off the phone with Edward was getting harder and harder to do. I hoped he would heed some of my warnings, but I knew my son probably better than he knew his own self. I knew he was doing drugs, how could he not be? In this day and age anymore and being a rockstar of sorts, there wasn't any way to avoid the situation. Plus, he had already been sampling them here before he left for LA. He doesn't think I know, but I do; and I knew the scene in LA would only intrigue him more. I hated it, and that was one of the many reasons why I didn't want him going, but he was so determined. They all were. I knew it was a mistake from the beginning.

I walked into the kitchen and poured another cup of coffee, thinking about our conversation. Edward was adamant about me not telling Kate about us coming to Canada, and I wouldn't tell Kate or her family. I wanted to see my son and if that meant not telling her, I would keep that a secret in a heartbeat.

Edward probably thought I liked Kate, but I didn't. Granted, I was nice to her and always went out of my way to make sure she was comfortable at our house, but I knew the type of girl she was from the beginning; something he could never see. Plus, it was hard to like someone you thought was hurting your child.

Trust me, I knew what she was actually doing here in Seattle, and it wasn't going to class like the good little girl should. No, she was over at the University of Washington drinking and doing whatever she wanted while he was on tour trying to make it. She should have supported him or at least been faithful to him, but that wasn't what was going on. Carmen, her mother, had all but admitted to me that Kate was failing out of school, which didn't surprise me. All she wanted was a man with a paycheck so she could live the high life, and that was all she saw in my son; stars and flashing lights. She might have preached to him about moving home and going to college or getting a job down at the sawmill, but that wasn't what she wanted really.

In some ways, I guess I couldn't blame her, but I didn't like it one bit. Of course, I was sure Edward had a little something on the road with him. He had forgotten that I had been married for years and knew that men needed a release in order to be a happy and productive man. It was human nature really. I would say as a woman, I was the same, but I wasn't about to admit those things to my baby boy.

Kate wasn't really any different than the other girls Edward had liked during his life. Tanya was the first. He probably thinks that I thought she was a sweet little girl. Meanwhile, I knew that the only reason he liked her was because she was easy. He was fourteen when he brought her home. It wasn't long before every time she came over I had to change his damn sheets. I hated the idea of him being sexual active at fourteen, but he was a boy; his hormones were out of this world at that age. I reckon it had to start sometime; at least it wasn't twelve like his father.

My son also thinks I'm blind, I know nothing, but little does he understand that I have been in his shoes, at some point or another. I saw it with my brothers and their friends growing up. Men have a tendency to be blinded by the potential of getting laid, and don't see all the warning signs like someone who wasn't influenced by that. The boys these days needed to learn that a chase was a good thing, and girls needed to start letting them chase a little before you let them have it all. It's so much easier to do things that don't take time or effort. Trust me, I have seen my fair share of crap. I didn't have all the answers, but I was well on my way.

While talking to Edward, I may have pushed the reconcile issue with Kate a little harder than I should have, being the way I feel about her. However, I did believe in marriage, and if they were in love, but the distance was causing them to grow apart, then he needed to fix it. He should make sure to call her, and constantly reconnect with her, but she needed to do those things too.

Honestly, I never understood why he had married her to begin with. He told me several times and on several occasions that he was getting ready to break up with her. Then, the next thing I know, he's married. At first, I expected a grandchild in a couple of months after their marriage, but then that didn't happen. I, at least, felt a little better knowing that a potential pregnancy hadn't been the change of heart. Now, she could have used that card and I just didn't know it, but you would think he would have mentioned it somewhere along the way.

Knowing my son though, I knew what was coming, and when Edward was over something or done with it, well … he was done.

Gathering my things to leave, I heard tires on the gravel road. Knowing that Carlisle wouldn't be home for another couple of hours, I looked out the window seeing Kate's BMW pull into the driveway. Great!

Standing at the counter, I continued to drink my coffee. When the doorbell rang, I straighten my dress and walked toward the door.

"Good afternoon, Kate," I greeted as I opened the door. I killed my daughter in law with kindness. Kill them with kindness … always my motto when you knew you were not liked. It wasn't a mystery that Kate hated me as much, if not more, than I hated her.

"Evening, Mrs. Cullen," she said, taking off her jacket and hanging it on the hook at the door. Apparently, she was staying a little longer than pleasantries.

"To what do I owe this visit?" I asked curiously.

"Well, Thanksgiving is coming up, and I was wondering if you had spoken with Edward."

"Yes, I just got off the phone with him a few minutes ago," I said, grabbing my coffee from the kitchen and walking toward the living room with Kate right on my tail.

"Did he say whether or not he was coming home?" she asked.

"Unfortunately dear, the record label isn't allowing them to leave. They have a show scheduled the day before and after Thanksgiving and won't be able to make it back in time," I replied, sipping my coffee. I watched Kate like a hawk; this was the first time she had inquired about holidays since she had come home years ago. Usually, Edward would go to her when he was home, so she never had to come here because they would talk.

The first year she left, they talked fairly often, according to Carmen, Kate's mother. However, now Edward never called her and she never called him.

"Are they coming home for Christmas?" she inquired, biting her nail; such a nasty habit to have especially when you are nervous.

"Sorry sweetheart, they won't be home anytime soon. They are staying in LA until the label lets them know about the New Year." Yes, I was giving Kate information, but I was hoping she would hang herself somewhere along the lines. Why was she so desperate to see him?

"Well, I figured he wouldn't be home. That music of his is so important to him that he wouldn't even come to see his wife," Kate huffed. I rolled my eyes. This was another Kate classic, playing the victim. She must have thought that crying to me would make me take her side in things. I guess in a small way, I did by asking Edward to keep his vows to her, but I didn't think she was the victim. Oh no, she contributed to the problem just as well as he had and both were to blame.

"Maybe he should, my dear, but I think the two of you have out grown each other," I said, sipping my coffee again. I wasn't going to sit here with her and mix words. I wanted to see how much she truly loved him. Maybe if she thought things were over already, she would fight to keep him in her life, but I guess I couldn't call that love. Someone like Kate would use that to her advantage to get what she wanted. That's when it hit me … Kate wanted to see Edward because she wanted something out of him, but what? What would Kate need from him now? Mommy and Daddy were still taking care of her and that I strongly disagreed with, but Carmen would get mad if I said something along those lines.

"I guess I will just have to go to him. I was afraid he would do something like this, and I have already booked my flight to New York." I knew Kate had connections to the group because she knew things I didn't, but how did she find out the boys would be at Madison Square Garden? Hell, I didn't find out until last week when Edward said something about the photo shoot with Rolling Stone in New Jersey just before they played at Madison Square Garden. According to him, it was a big deal and could make or break the band. So, I decided to play dirty and ask the one question I hadn't dared.

"How's Garrett doing?" I asked because Kate had always had a thing for Garrett that Edward either overlooked or never knew about. I assumed it was because he always thought that Garrett was just her friend like he was him.

"He's good," Kate replied before she even noticed what she said. When she finally realized she had just told on herself, she wouldn't look at me.

"So, how long have Garrett and you been together? And don't act like you don't know what I am talking about Kate. You've already admitted to talking to him while on the tour." I had her right where I wanted her. Why was she talking to Garrett? I wasn't for sure that Garrett and she had something going; I knew that she had once liked him and flirted with him.

"It's not like that, Esme, not at all. He understands and helps me through the moments my husband won't or can't seem to help me with is all," Kate said, but she was wringing her hands the whole time like she was nervous. Playing the victim card again by throwing his name in there. If I wasn't convinced something was going on before … I was now, and I had to warn Edward before something happened.

"I don't believe you, Kate, now please leave my house," I said, standing from my seat beside her. I narrowed my eyes when she didn't get up right away.

"Please don't tell Edward, I want to make things work with him, and New York might be my chance." Crocodile tears came fast, like she had a reason to save her marriage when she was already flirting with disaster. I wasn't one to usually judge people because of their mistakes, and had known several friends of mine that had cheated on their husbands, but this wasn't one of those situations. We were talking about my son … my baby boy, and I wasn't about to sit around and do nothing. Especially, when my son didn't want her around; now that was something to be said about their relationship as husband and wife.

Kate stood and walked to the front door, I didn't say anymore to her. I had nothing else to say that wouldn't end up with her throwing everything back to Edward. Did she not understand they were both in the relationship together and that everything that happened wasn't solely Edward's fault, that she should carry some of the blame?

Watching Kate walked toward the car, I knew I would have to locate Edward and warn him about her. I wouldn't tell him about Garrett, just in case things with the band were going well, but I would definitely tell him she was coming.

~Outtake: Chapter 8 Feel Like Making Love~

I had tried for days on end to get Edward on the phone, but I either had just missed them or they were still on the road. The label had insisted on using a crappy old Grey Hound bus to hall the boys all over the United States, and the damn thing was a junk yard reject. I had the pleasure of seeing the bus they were using when they had pulled into Seattle. I asked Carlisle if there was some way we could purchase a nicer bus for the boys to get back and forth in, but Carlisle wouldn't agree just yet. Stating that if they made it big and the label still insisted on making them ride in hunk of junk, then he would get them something nicer. Content with his answer, I said no more about it, but when I heard they had broken down somewhere in bum fuck West Virginia, I knew I needed to work a little harder on Carlisle.

Pulling the dishes from the dish washer, I heard the phone ring; quickly, I walked over and picked the phone up.

"Hello," I said, leaning against the counter, hoping it was Edward. Kate had called a couple of times to apologize to me, but I didn't know why she was sorry to begin with. I didn't like the way she was treating my son, and I made no bones about it when I told her that over the phone. She still wanted to know if he was coming home so she could cancel her flight if he was. She was so persistent to see him, which still caused me great concern; I knew she had something up her sleeve.

"Hey, Mom," Edward said. I was so happy to hear from him instead of me having to call the label to figure out where they were and call all the hotels in the area to find him.

"Hello, Baby Boy! Where are you now?" I asked, smiling. I loved to hear his voice because I knew he was still alive and well for that moment.

"New Jersey … Mom, the reason I called was because I wanted to tell you something …" he said "… I've met someone on tour and Mom, I'm in love with her. I mean, really in love. It's nothing like Kate. I want her to meet you and Dad when you come up to Montreal. Her Dad is the Chief of Police in Forks. I think Dad knows him, but I can't remember." I giggled. Edward never rambled like this; something must really be going good for him.

"God, Mom, she's amazing and I want you guys to like her, but I want to warn you, she is a little young. Seventeen … she's seventeen, but she is mature and she takes care of herself. Her mother doesn't even treat her right. I'm in love … so in fucking love with her that my heart hurts."

He was definitely something with this girl, but I didn't know if it was love or infatuation. I would have to see them together before I could decided. However, I had to warn him about Kate if this mystery girl was with him.

"Edward," I said, trying to talk over him as he still talked nonstop about his gal.

"Edward," I said, again laughing. I will say I had never heard him like this before, so that was something positive.

"Yeah," he said, finally breaking from his rambling.

"I hate to tell you this, but I don't want to see your happiness go away …" I took a deep breath, hating what I was about to say "… Kate's coming to New York. I never said anything about Montreal, and she came here wondering about Thanksgiving then Christmas."

"Why haven't you called before now to let me know?" he asked, sounding irrigated.

"I tried, but I just missed you in Kentucky, and when I called the label, they said something about having to be on the bus for longer; something about West Virginia and the bus breaking down."

"She can't come here, Mom; I don't want her to come. She will ruin everything I have here with Izzy."

"I know, Edward, I know, but you are going to have to figure out something to do. For the love of God, if you love Izzy, please don't sleep with Kate. Not only is she up to something, but if Izzy found out, it would probably break her heart and the love you have for her will break you in two," I sighed, hoping he heeded my warning.

"What am I going to fucking do?" he cried. My heart broke hearing the desperation in his voice. I wish I could call Kate and tell her he was done, or tell her he was coming home to make her stay. However, I would bet she was already on a plane heading there as we spoke.

"I don't know what to tell you to do, baby boy, but remember if you love something, set it free … if it returns, it was meant to be," I said. I knew it was true, the saying, and I hoped like hell it worked out, but I couldn't see him getting rid of Kate so easily. This poor Izzy would be heartbroken if she felt half of what Edward potentially felt. I just couldn't see ruining her chances with someone as involved as my son. I hated suggesting it and thinking about Izzy first, but she was young on the road with rockstars, and what if … she didn't love him as much as he loved her. If she wasn't and he wasn't going to give up Kate, she should walk out now verses later.

"I'll have to figure out something. God, Mom, why? Why now? She hasn't spoken to me since she left LA. Even when we came to Seattle, she barely saw me. She disappeared for hours, and even though I had already met Izzy, I was intrigued, but now … now I love her and want to be better for her. I've even thought about giving up this whole rockstar thing for her."

It was official. He was in love and in deep, and I knew whatever decision he made or did when Kate arrived … it would kill him. I rubbed my forehead with my hand knowing in this moment things were about to get a lot worse for my son.

"I have to get off the phone, but please … please think about things before you go off on a tangent and do something that could ruin the both of you potentially. Please think," I begged. I loved my son dearly, but he was notorious for doing the first thing he thought of and his first thoughts weren't always that well planned out. My son still had a lot of growing to do even though he was already an adult.

"I will, Mom, I promise," he said. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

"I love you, baby boy, and will talk to you later," I said.

"I love you too, and thanks," he said, hanging up the phone.

I prayed a silent prayer that he would think and not rush into something he was ill prepared to handle. He already had the record label breathing down his neck, Kate and her madness, Izzy and whether or not she would be able to understand the situation. I just prayed that he wouldn't allow everything to spiral out of control.


	10. Cover of the Rolling Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Cover of the Rolling Stone- Dr. Hook

Chapter 9

Cover of the Rolling Stone

EPOV

I felt bad about asking Izzy to come with me this morning to the Rolling Stone's photo shoot, but after last night and the connection I felt with her, I couldn't stand being away from her today. She didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, I think she was excited to finally be coming along for something. The majority of the time, the guys left their girls at the hotel because it was simpler; plus sometimes it was just boring. Plus with them at the hotel, they would take care of our food and laundry, and had time to socialize with one another. The thing I benefited the most from her socialization was the fact she would learn more things to do in the bedroom that she was excited to try. I wasn't about to argue with that. However today, I wanted her beside me.

Since last night, it had become pretty apparent that I had never made love to a woman before. I had fucked them, but never actually made love to them or had a connection on another level that had anything to do with getting off. It was sad I guess, but it also solidified the need to get a divorce from Kate. We never, and I mean never, had anything like that and it was clear Kate was a fucking mistake. Truth be known, if Kate wasn't standing in my way, I would have probably marched Izzy down to the Justice of the Peace and gotten us married this fucking morning. That's how much I fucking loved that girl and I still didn't have the balls to admit it to her either. I tried so many times to just utter the words, but every time they would get stuck in the back of my throat and I couldn't make them come out. I couldn't think about those things, but promised myself that once I got my withdrawals to the coke under control that I would tell her what I wanted and thought. I focused back on the task at hand … getting the photo shoot and meeting over as quickly as possible so I could spend the rest of my time with Izzy.

The first half of the photo shoot was relatively easy. The photographer was cracking us up and I even noticed Izzy snickering a couple of times at his instructions. I didn't really pay all that much attention to him though. I smiled when he said smile, looked angry when the moment called for it, and allowed him to adjust my body several times during the whole session. The only time I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up was when he would place me out in front. I knew it was going to happen, and I knew Garrett would be thinking the same fucking thing behind me. It was a tough spot to be in, and I wanted no part of it.

Marcus, the photographer, wanted the whole band to take off our shirts for a shot. It didn't really matter to me; I was used to being naked from the waist up. Sometimes while on stage the lights and the heat coming off the equipment made it extremely hot, and I would shed my shirt to make it through the songs we played. So being shirtless wasn't as big of a deal to Emmett or me. However, Garrett and Mike about had a hissy fit over it, wanting to know if the photographer was going to retouch the pictures for the magazine. I thought that was comical. All those two needed to do was workout a little bit more and they would be solid, but both loved their cheeseburgers just a little too much to work out.

Once the shirtless shots were finished, I leaned over to grab my shirt to put back on when Marcus walked over to me. I didn't like this one bit, but I was stuck.

"MCA asked me to take a couple shots of you with a couple of woman. I don't want your shirt back on," he whispered. I don't know if the others weren't meant to hear this conversation or if it was the fact I had brought a guest that he was being hush-hush about things. I threw the shirt back to the group and watched as two blondes walked over, pulling off their robes. It was sad that at one time in my life I would have tried to fuck one or both of them, but now neither really held my interest. I looked in Izzy direction and knew exactly the look she had on her face … jealousy. If she only knew I've carried that look every time a member of the band or crew has gazed upon her. She truly didn't know how fucking beautiful she was.

Sucking up the situation and putting my best face forward, I did everything Marcus wanted out of us. At least, it was all an act … none of it meant anything to me and for the life of me, I hoped Izzy understood. Marcus took shot after fucking shot as the woman pawed at my chest and the gal in front of me even rubbed over my junk. I looked over at Izzy praying that she either didn't see or didn't allow it to bother her. She must have missed it though because her look didn't change until Marcus led the whole group into another room. Inside the room, it had a couch and a bed and I crossed my fucking fingers he didn't want me in bed with the girls, but I wasn't holding my breath.

When Marcus instructed the women to remove their shirts and their tits bounced out of their outfits, I about fucking died. I wanted to turn away from the view, but I couldn't, until I heard Izzy huff from the sidelines. I knew she wouldn't like it, and knew we needed to get this over as quickly as humanly possible. Rip the Band-Aid off and go with it. It will hurt for a moment, but once it's done and over with, no one will remember, or I hoped she wouldn't. Marcus positioned me in one of their laps as the other dragged her body down my own. I tried to think of anything except the fact that a woman was rubbing her tits all over my chest. I hoped Marcus got his fucking shot because I wasn't doing that one again.

The bed was next. Marcus had one of the girls put her shirt on which was a blessing, but the other one who was still topless, Marcus instructed her to lick and suck on my nipple. I couldn't believe he wanted a shot like this. The other girl held a Jack Daniels bottle at my crotch and I was never so fucking thankful to have something pushing my cock back down. It might have been staged, an act, but it was hard to get the body to behave.

The last shots of the day were me alone with the bottle and a couple of shot with my guitar; those weren't too bad. I gladly welcomed those moments, but also knew what it all meant. Aro was going to ask me to go solo like I had already assumed, and now he had the shots for promoting my solo career. I pulled my shirt over my head and ran my fingers through my hair. The stylist had put way too much shit in it, making it feel all stiff. Izzy walked over just as I noticed Aro and the new manager of the band Caius coming into the studio. They had timed it just right and now I had to leave Izzy for a meeting I wanted no part in.

Aro motioned me over and I quickly excused myself from Izzy; I didn't want her anywhere near that man. I didn't want him to use her as leverage against me in some way; I tried to act like she was one of the extras here or something.

"Aro," I said, walking up to him and extending my hand for him to shake.

"Edward, always a pleasure. Have you had a chance to meet Caius Masen yet?" he asked, looking over toward the new manager.

"In passing," I said, extending my hand in his direction and shaking it.

"Let's step into the studio office and chat for a moment," Aro said, pointing toward Marcus office. I followed behind the men as they lead the way into the office. Aro quickly placed himself behind the desk with me occupying the chair in front of the desk.

"So, how are things going with the band?" Aro asked as he leaned forward and stippled his fingers in front of him. I hated how every time we talked he always wanted to ask about how things were going. It didn't matter if we were fighting amongst each other or not, the show would still go on.

"Good," I replied, never the one to tell everything we were doing. It wasn't any of their business. If or when we decided to disband, he would be the first to know just because it was business.

"Good, I would have figured Garrett would be pissed at you by now and ready to move on to greener pastures." I didn't reply to his remark. If I didn't take the solo contract and they decided to offer it to Garrett, Aro would use whatever I said here to his advantage and have Garrett ready to sign just because of what he thought I had said. Aro was worse than a pack of women in a beauty shop about spreading rumors, and what little bit he had done was easily pushed to the side. It was just a matter of time before he did something that destroyed us all.

"However, I'm afraid that I'm done with Garrett's antics and ready to move onto greener pastures myself," he said, rubbing his chin looking right at me.

"What do the record sales look like?" he asked looking over to Caius.

"They are horrible, and it doesn't look like they are going to pick up steam anytime soon, especially being that we have actually lost sales from the previous album," Caius said, not even looking at anything. It was either all from the top of his head or a clever ruse to begin with.

"See, here is the thing Eddie boy …" I gritted my teeth. I hated it when someone called me Eddie "… we did a survey of the people when it came down to the band. They felt like you have the most talent out of all you guys. Garrett's just the outside package; a very faulty package, but the outer layer. You are the meat … the inner filling that keeps the people coming back for more. The other guys in the band are a dime a fucking dozen. I already have three kids knocking at my door wanting to play the bass and drums. Hell, I have a couple of guitarist too, but no one … not one has the talent that you do."

"I beg to differ. I've told you before, Garrett is the one who comes up with the songs. I don't write that often, he does."

"Only because you allow him. Do you know that the songs you have written and performed are the highest rated song? 'Lunar Moon' has been in the number one position for the last eight weeks. And that is the only thing keeping the band in this damn tour. If you can't come up with another hit single to top the charts in the next week when the count is done again, then consider the second leg of the tour over."

"That's impossible … there is no way for us to get another hit single at the moment. The album has been out for six months now and if the radio station isn't playing the other songs, people won't know to vote for them," I stated, pulling at my hair, but I should have known he would put demands on us that were impossible to meet.

"There is an alternative … it won't work out so nicely for the other guys."

"What?" I asked.

"You become a solo act … in Canada, you go into the studio instead of touring. I will replace you on the tour with one of the kids that are knocking on my door to make them famous. You remember those days, don't you Eddie?" Aro smirked.

"What if I don't want a solo career?" I asked because I didn't want it. Hell, I was more than ready to walk away from the whole damn thing, taking Izzy with me.

"Well, then the band and you will be responsible for the two albums I produced, and the cost of your little girlfriends riding with you on the tour bus. Oh and that lovely tour bus racked up quite a few charges in West Virginia getting repaired. The road crews, the trailers that brought in your equipment for the show; remember those amps you wanted?"

"You wouldn't," I seethed, pissed he would charge us for the cost of everything. We were barely making any money as is … just enough to eat with a little left over. Everything and I mean every-fucking-thing was supplied by the label.

"I will … don't test me, Edward. You will find that I will do whatever it takes to get what I want. You boys will be paying me for the rest of your lives for the opportunity I gave you."

Pulling at the hair on my head was only giving me a headache and at the moment I needed something to calm me. Izzy … I needed Izzy.

"Think about it and have an answer for me in New York," Aro said, getting up and leaving the office. Caius followed right behind him. I sat in the chair for a few minutes trying to process the whole situation. Could I do this? Could I do what he wanted without causing each of us to be indebted to him for the rest of our lives?

I had exactly one fucking day to come up with a decision. However, the next couple of hours I wanted to spend wrapped up in Izzy and not deal with the decision I knew that was going to hurt a lot of people.

~AASS~

I should have known that life was about to throw me another curveball. My afternoon with Izzy had been utterly magical. She was still kind of sore from last night events, but allowed me to fuck her a couple of times before I had to leave. I actually hated having to leave Izzy at the hotel, but she insisted and promised to rest. I couldn't argue with that though because I still had plans for her. Hell, I didn't know if I was ever going to get enough of her. I still hadn't told her I loved her yet, which made me an ass. I wanted to say it when I was officially free to feel that way.

Izzy was in the shower when I decided to give my mom a call; it had been almost a week or so since I had talked with her. I was pretty sure she would be driving Dad crazy about hiring a PI to see if I was still alive or not.

"Hey, Mom," I said. I was so happy to talk to my mom and tell her everything that I have been waiting to.

"Hello, Baby Boy! Where are you now?"

"New Jersey … Mom, the reason I called was because I wanted to tell you something …" I said "… I've met someone on tour and Mom, I'm in love with her. I mean, really in love. It's nothing like Kate. I want her to meet you and Dad when you come up to Montreal. Her Dad is the Chief of Police in Forks. I think Dad knows him, but I can't remember." I think I heard my mom giggle.

"God, Mom, she's amazing and I want you guys to like her, but I want to warn you, she is a little young. Seventeen … she's seventeen, but she is mature and she takes care of herself. Her mother doesn't even treat her right. I'm in love … so in fucking love with her that my heart hurts." I just could not slow myself down. She for sure was going to know I was on drugs, or at least think I am.

"Edward." I heard her say, but I kept going.

"Edward," Mom said again laughing.

"Yeah,"

"I hate to tell you this, but I don't want to see your happiness go away …" I sat up on the bed midsentence as my mom was talking "… Kate's coming to New York. I never said anything about Montreal, and she came here wondering about Thanksgiving then Christmas."

"Why haven't you called before now to let me know?" I asked, pulling at my hair.

"I tried, but I just missed you in Kentucky, and when I called the label, they said something about having to be on the bus for longer; something about West Virginia and the bus breaking down." Esme pleaded through the phone.

"She can't come here, Mom; I don't want her to come. She will ruin everything I have here with Izzy."

"I know Edward, I know, but you are going to have to figure out something to do. For the love of God, if you love Izzy, please don't sleep with Kate. Not only is she up to something, but if Izzy found out, it would probably break her heart and the love you have for her will break you in two." Hearing my Mom talk like that made me sick to my stomach. What the hell am I going to do now?

"What am I going to fucking do?" I cried. I love Izzy more than anything in the world. I can't lose her; especially not over Kate trying to prove something now. Why does she have to come here, when I have to deal with the band, Aro, and the label? I have a bad feeling my happy life with Izzy is going to shit real quick.

"I don't know what to tell you to do, baby boy, but remember if you love something, set it free … if it returns, it was meant to be," Mom said.

"I'll have to figure out something. God, Mom, why? Why now? She hasn't spoken to me since she left LA. Even when we came to Seattle, she barely saw me. She disappeared for hours, and even though I had already met Izzy, I was intrigued, but now … now I love her and want to be better for her. I've even thought about giving up this whole rockstar thing for her." I was practically in tears.

"I have to get off the phone, but please … please think about things before you go off on a tangent and do something that could ruin the both of you potentially. Please think," Mom begged.

"I will, Mom, I promise."

"I love you, baby boy, and will talk to you later."

"I love you too, and thanks," I said, hanging up the phone.

Tonight we would be heading over to New York, which meant that when we checked into our hotel room, I would have to tell Izzy to stay somewhere else. I climbed from the bed. I couldn't face telling her now and it was closer to the time I had to meet the guy's downstairs.

I knocked on the door and when she answered, I leaned in, letting her know I was heading out and for her to rest. Once the door was closed between us … I whispered the words I wanted to tell her so badly.

"I love you, Izzy." I turned from the door and headed downstairs. I needed to come up with a plan to get Izzy somewhere away from Kate. I needed to make a decision about the solo career, and I needed to focus on trying to be a better person without drugs in my system. But, all those things would have to wait until later. I pulled the Xanax and Percocet from my pocket, tossing them into my mouth and swallowing them without any water. I really should have sniffed them, but I didn't have time to hide and take care of it.

The ride to the stadium wasn't too bad. I smoked the entire ride, making Jasper look at me from the corner of his eyes. I guess you could say Jasper was my best friend, hell my only friend, on the tour. I could talk to him and he wouldn't judge me. I needed that; I nodded in his direction letting him know I needed to talk. As the car pulled up to the gates, I hung back to let Jasper know I would tell him later.

After about an hour's worth of work, sweating like a pig, I slipped through the gates and out to the cars that waited to take us to the hotel. Jasper had arranged for it to just be him and me so I could talk without having the others know what was going on.

Telling him about Aro was the simplest part because he probably already knew the majority of it. The best advice he could give was to do what was best for me. I knew what to do, but it felt good to get it off my chest. At least if I took the solo career, everyone else wouldn't be stuck with the financial responsibility. They would be free to start another band or even their lives. Emmett could marry Rose if he wanted start a family. Get things settled and collect the royalties off the use of our songs, instead of paying the record label for the rest of our lives. Jasper said he would back any decision I made, which was something I needed in order to decide.

"I know there is more going on than Aro," Jasper said as the car sat outside the hotel.

"Kate's coming to New York," I said, looking at him. Jasper let out a low whistle.

"Tell me about it. I love Izzy, Jasper. I can't hurt her, but I can't let Kate know about our relationship. I wouldn't want her to … I don't know."

"So, you don't love Kate anymore?" he asked.

"No, don't think I was ever in love with her really. My feelings for her have always been something different, but never on the same level of love that I have for Izzy."

"What are your plans?" he asked.

"You're heading back to LA right?" I asked.

"Yep, Alice is going with me too."

"Good, take Bella with you guys. Help her get her life together and don't let her go back to her mother."

"I can't promise all that, but I will try to keep her with us," he said.

"Good, that will be great. I will come for her when I can get my career settled out and Kate taken care of. I don't want Kate knowing about Aro's offer. She will want to stay married to get her half in everything."

"That sucks, but know one thing, I can't stop Izzy from going anywhere or doing anything. I can encourage her not to, but she is a grown woman. Then, there is the issue of her mother … what if she finds out she is in town? She could make her life hell until she turned eighteen."

"I doubt her mother would really care, but I do see your point."

"Think about it is all I am saying. Have her lay low and when Kate is gone again, go back to the normal. Then as soon as the tours over, get the divorce before Kate can figure out the whole Aro thing," Jasper said, climbing out of the car.

"Good talk," I muttered getting out behind him, heading toward my room.

~AASS~

Walking into the room, I knew the conversation I was about to have with her would break her heart in some ways, but I was going to hold onto the promise I made her at the beginning of our relationship. I wouldn't touch Kate and that was something I held deep in my heart.

Izzy was still tucked under the covers, asleep when I walked into the room. I didn't want to wake her quite yet. They had changed the plans for the evening and we were leaving for New York in the morning because it would take us that long to get there. So, I pulled my sweaty clothes from my body and showered as I considered the options.

Hands snaked around my body slowing reaching for my dick. I wasn't even paying attention, so wrapped up in my own mind, that I didn't even notice her slip into the shower with me. I smiled because this was something new and something I had never done before in my life.

I needed to let her know what was going on and how things would be in New York. The more I thought about Jasper taking her to LA without me killed me. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I had to come up with something better before Jasper and Tink were in the air.

"Baby, we need to talk," I said, moving her hands from my body. She was making me feel too good and as much as I wanted to enjoy this moment, I couldn't.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, backing closer to the wall of the shower.

I spun around and grasped her cheeks in my hands. "You've done nothing wrong, I promise. Get showered and once you're done, we will talk." I leaned down and kissed her nose, leaving the shower. I could kick my own ass for walking out when Izzy was so wet, naked, and ready for me. I wouldn't do that when something this heavy was weighing on my mind. I wouldn't leave her wondering if she was nothing more than a piece of ass to me.

Slipping on my clothes, I walked over to the window in the hotel room and lit my cigarette. I needed something to calm me down because I felt like a nervous fucking wreck, but together we would figure it out. Right? I wasn't so sure of that at the moment.

Izzy walked out of the bathroom, gathering her clothes and taking them back to the bathroom. I knew she thought it was something she had done, but truly it wasn't her. Everything would be perfect if it wasn't for fucking Kate.

I finished my cigarette, putting it out in the ashtray. Walking over to the bed, I got comfortable with my back against the headboard and waiting for Izzy to come out of the bathroom again. When she finally walked out of the bathroom this time, I noticed her puffy, swollen eyes, and knew she had been crying. I never wanted to see her cry and over something that wasn't her fault at all. If anyone was to blame, it was me and then Kate.

"Come here," I said, motioning her toward me. I had to make this right, but also let her decide what was best for her to do.

"I'm so sorry. I will never sneak in on you again," she cried as I pulled her into my arms.

"It's okay. Honey, you can do that anytime you want." I kissed her forehead, trying to let her know I wasn't mad at her for walking in on me in the shower.

"Then why didn't you want me to … touch you?" she asked, wiping the tears from under her eyes.

"It wasn't you coming in the shower that bothered me. There is something going on that I need to tell you about, and I am worried you will be upset."

"What's going on?" she asked, pulling away to look at me.

"I talked to my mother today. She gave me some bad news," I said.

"Oh no, they are not going to be able to make it to Montreal? I wanted to meet them," she said. I wished it was that simple.

"No, baby, they are still coming to Montreal, but tomorrow, Kate will be in New York," I said quickly. I wanted it on the table.

"I see," she said, pulling away from me, sitting with her back facing me. I knew it wasn't going to be easy.

"I have to spend time with her," I said, immediately regretting my choice of words.

"Of course you do," Izzy hissed. She stood from the bed and walked over toward her bags, placing her things in. We would be leaving for New York in the morning, but her packing her bags now wasn't a good sign.

"Please, don't go … if you don't want to be here, then I will leave," I said, getting up from the bed and walking toward the door.

"Look, I know I am being a brat about it, but it's either her or me. You're going to have to make a choice," she said with her hands across her chest.

"I am trying to make it until the end of the tour. You know that and I promise I won't touch her … please believe me. I want you more than anything. I … I … "

"I will stay on the tour, but until you figure out what to do with your wife, please don't talk to me. I told you in the beginning that I didn't want to be hurt, and you have done just that by pushing me to the side. I know what you're going to do, Edward … you expected me to stay with Tink or one of the other girls while you played the faithful husband; so she won't ask for everything in the divorce. I get that, really I do, but more than likely, you will have to share half with her, at least for a while," Izzy said as tears poured down her face.

"You don't understand. I can't lose you," I cried because I didn't want this to be over. I reached out for her and pulled her body into my arms as she cried, soaking my chest.

"I can't do this … it's all or nothing. Jasper's going back to LA … maybe it's best if I go with Tink and him. Maybe finish school, I don't know maybe I need to get away from this tour so I can see the bigger picture. It was all about the music anyway." I pulled away from her arms. The last statement pissed me off, and she was already throwing everything about us down the drain. Earlier, I was about to tell her I loved her to make her stay, but now … no way I was going to admit it when it was "all about the music".

I didn't even turn around to look at her as I left the room. Sure, I could stay and argue … stay and tell her I loved her, only for it all to boil down to the music I made. She said she was different from the other girls, but apparently she was the same. All any of them cared about was my status as a musician.

~AASS~

Sitting outside the room was the worst thing in the world to do, but I couldn't leave the stupid door. I tried several times, but just couldn't go while Izzy was inside crying her eyes out. Yeah, she had sniffed and screamed out numerous times, but I wasn't going in and I couldn't leave. I leaned my head back against the wall and listen as her cries finally quieted down and just as I was standing to enter the room, Jake walked by. Great, I thought. Perfect fucking timing, everything he had said I would do … I did.

"They're having a poker game in room 293," Jake said, stopping. I couldn't believe he would even have the balls to talk to me after the incident a couple of days ago. Apparently, he had a set of steel ones, but who I was I kidding, I was the one who was fucked from the beginning.

"Who's playing?" I asked, not remember who was in that room.

"It's 'The Hawks'," he said. 'The Hawks' were another band that had been around for years. They had several number one hits and were currently on the same tour schedule as us. The only difference was that they were usually heading out as we were arriving in an area.

Izzy was asleep and I wasn't going back inside anytime soon. I had left her to sleep before and didn't see the difference. I mean, maybe after she had a nap, maybe things would be better. With my decision made, I got out off the floor and walked down the hall to the room.

Jake and I entered to see a whose fucking who of rockers; there was Glen Walsh, Don Frey, and Joe Henley from 'The Hawks'. Then there were others mingling around the room. I couldn't believe I was going to be sitting here with them. Ace handed me a beer and told me if I wanted to get into the game it was going to cost two hundred dollars. I looked into my pocket, pulling out the money I had saved from not buying coke from James. I planned on using it to buy Izzy a nice present from Tiffany's, but it didn't matter anymore. So, I let Ace know I was good to go.

I watched as the player's sat, bullshiting with one another, and calling each other's bluffs. It was awesome! James walked by and stood beside me. It had been a while since I had seen the slimy fucker, and I wasn't too happy about it now. However, James had something that would take my mind off things, and if I wasn't going to be with Izzy anymore … well I might as well have a line or two.

Within a matter of minutes, James handed me what I wanted and I disappeared into the bathroom, where I cut out my lines and sniffed them up my nose. I closed my eyes because the fucking feeling was great. It had been a while and God how I had missed it. I wiped the counter down and left the room to see if the game was ready.

As I walked out of the bathroom toward the tables again, I grabbed another beer, already downing my first one. Don motioned me over as the losers this round was leaving. I sat down between Don and Glenn.

"How's life on the road?" Glenn asked.

"Good, can't complain," I replied, taking another drink of my beer.

"I could," Don said. I looked over to see if he was going to elaborate on his comment, but he didn't. Glenn didn't ask any more questions and often times muttered things under his breath. It was quite comical. 'I'm going to kick his fucking ass,' was one of them and I couldn't help but wonder if he was talking about me. I looked in his direction after that mutter and he smiled at me, so maybe it wasn't me, but I still wasn't sure. I paid in and received my chips as the bottle of Jack was passed around the table.

In thirty fucking minutes, I drank like a fucking fish … lost every dime I had in my fucking pocket, and was higher than a fucking kite. It was like a light bulb went off in my brain. Aro wanted the band to get another number one song before the end of the week. What if during our tour, we get out on the street and sell our records … lead the customers to stores. Do what we did with the first album? However, now the boys had grown lazy with the 'Love Bands'. If I got rid of the 'Love Bands,' maybe the boys would work harder, and if I traded the girls to 'The Hawks,' they would still be on the tour. Well, not really, but essentially. I mean, we would all pass each other at some point. This would keep Izzy out of my hair while Kate was here and I would get to see her in passing. She wouldn't have to experience me being nice to Kate to get hurt. I wouldn't have to worry about her in LA; it was a fucking awesome plan.

When I lost the last round, I bet one more time, but I had to talk the guys into letting me get away with it. I had been losing since I sat down, so losing the girls wouldn't be hard for me now.

"Spot me," I said, as they were looking at me. Both men chuckled.

"Edward, we are not spotting you. I think it's time you left the table," Don said, sliding his chips closer to himself.

"What if I had something better than money to offer?" I asked.

"What's better than money?" Glenn asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Women ... girls … pussy," I said, cringing at the last words that were uttered out of my fucking mouth. I didn't want either one of these men or anyone with them to touch Izzy.

"I'm listening," Glenn said, sorting out his own chips in front of him.

"There is the group of girls touring with us, the 'Love Bands'. They love the thrill of meeting and being with rock stars, and love the music. They are looking for a good time and would love to go with you guys."

"How many we are talking here?" Don asked, looking directly in my eyes.

"Three, one is heading back to LA tomorrow," I said, quickly taking another swig of the Jack on the table.

Both men leaned back in their chairs. I could only assume they were talking to each other behind my back, but it didn't matter if I got another chance to play. Then there was the benefit if the girls were out of our hair.

"Deal," both said, shaking my hand. I didn't even fucking try … the cards that were dealt to me were shit and there wasn't any way to make anything of them. I folded within a matter of minutes leaning back in my chair and nursing the bottle in my hands. I looked over my shoulder to see a fuming fucking Jake. I didn't care what he thought at this point; it wasn't like Izzy was in love with me or even cared. I was just the first musician in a long line of others. If he wanted to fight me, we could work out something, but I sat back and watched the whole thing play out in front of me.

Within minutes, Don won the game and now he was the proud owner of the 'Love Bands'.

"It was a pleasure," I said, grabbing the bottle and bidding the men farewell.

"I will let the girls know where to meet you in the morning," I said, rising from the table.

"So, where will the ladies be heading next?" I aske, looking at Don.

"Hartford, Connecticut."

"Good night." I walked out of the room about hundred pounds lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know … I know … Edward is being stupid here, but if you have ever watched Almost Famous … Russell does the same thing to Penny Lane. Remember, this is what the story is based off of. Do you know who he was playing card with? Try to guess and I will tell you if you're right. The next chapter will be Izzy/Bella and the entrance of Kate. Don't forget to read the newest stories on my profile … Talk Dirty To Me, Quattro Amore, and Sometimes Love Just Isn't Enough. As always be kind and leave a review. ;)


	11. Heartbreaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can remember a time in my life where I was smoking the same cigarettes the guy I liked did so we would have something in common. I have dyed my hair blonde because his new girlfriend was and I wasn't. I have lost weight to try to be like someone else. Done stupid … stupid ass shit to impress someone who wasn't clearly interested in me. I know I am not the first one or will I have been the last. Bella makes similar assumptions here.
> 
> Bella finds herself in a bad situation … the love of her life has just bet her and the 'Love Bands' to another group. That situation is terrible, but Kate is coming to town. How will Bella deal with everything going on in her life?

Chapter 10

Heartbreaker

BPOV

I knew … Jake was right. I knew … Edward would break my fucking heart from the beginning I knew and did it any damn way. What the hell was I fucking thinking? I knew it… he was married and unable to fully commit. Hell, I could have stopped it all myself, but no. I wanted him … I wanted him to want me. So, here I am now, alone and crying my fucking eyes out. I loved him … still do, but I don't know how I am going to make it without him.

The knocking at the fucking door was driving me crazy. I pushed the covers aside and looked out the peephole, seeing Jake standing there.

"What do you want?" I yelled through the door. I didn't want to have to deal with his "I told you so" this morning. My plate was already full of regret.

"I need to talk to you about something," he said through the door.

"Not today, Jake … haven't you learned your lesson?" I asked.

"It's not like that … listen Edward did something last night that involves you and the 'Love Bands'. Please open up before they come up here," he said. I ripped open the door … Jake looked like shit.

"What the hell happened to you?" I asked.

"Long story … look I understand the kiss was wrong. I apologize for that, but Edward traded you guys off to another band last night," he said.

"Edward wouldn't do that," I said, walking away from the door; Jake came in, shutting it behind him.

"He would and he did. I don't know what is going on, but last night during a poker game with 'The Hawks,' he gambled you guys off like you meant nothing to him. I know I made threats and figured he might, but I never expected it to actually happen."

"He couldn't have," I said, tears running down my face. How could he?

"I'm not making this up. I promise, I would never break you guys up like this."

"I don't know what to believe," I said. It was official, I was totally numb.

"You need to talk to the girls … get them out of here or whatever. Tell Jasper so he can settle Edward's debit or something, but you can't go with them."

I nodded because at this point, I was hurt, confused, speechless, and totally lost. I didn't know what to do. Jake pulled me into his arms as I hugged myself tighter trying to keep myself from falling apart. This felt like a low blow even for Edward. It felt like my whole body was about ready to fall apart if I let go. We stood there for a few minutes as the tears slipped over my cheeks, I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't. Jake pulled back from our embrace when I had quieted down a little.

"I've gotta go, but talk to the girls," Jake said, looking at his watch. I walked over to the phone in the room and called Tink's room number, and asked her to call all the girls to my room. I didn't want to be the one who told them really, but I didn't have a choice. Crawling back into the bed and pulling the covers over my head was the best option. I didn't want to move.

In a matter of minutes, the knocking on the door alerted me to the girl's presence. I crawled out of bed, opened the door, and allowed them to enter. This wasn't going to be fun.

"So, why the emergency meeting," Rose Bud said, entering the room. Once the door was closed behind them, I took a deep breath.

"Apparently, last night during a poker game with 'The Hawks', Edward decided it would be best if the 'Love Bands' were no longer on the tour," I said quickly because the tears were building up in my eyes.

"That son of a bitch," Rose hissed, rushing over to me.

"Are you okay, sweetie? I know you can't be taking this all that well," she asked.

"I'm fine, just … yeah … fine. Um, the tour for 'The Hawks' will be pulling out soon and according to Jake, they are expecting our arrival. I'm giving everyone a heads up here." I wiped the tears from my eyes, trying to keep myself strong enough to figure out what to do now; now that he no longer wanted me here.

"Well, it doesn't matter to me really. Jasper and I are leaving tomorrow after dinner. So, I won't be going with 'The Hawks'," Tink said. I knew they had plans to head back to LA and maybe that was the best thing to do. However, I wasn't going to go back to Renee and Phil's, which meant I wouldn't have anywhere to stay.

"I think I might like to go, if that's all right with you guys. Garrett isn't really feeling our connection he said. Mike won't give me the time of fucking day, and Jake … don't even get me started on him. He avoids me like the fucking plague," Jessi Lee rambled.

"Are you sure about that?" Tink asked, which I was glad because I didn't want Jessi to be all alone with another group with no other women to talk to.

"I'm sure … there are probably others like us on the tour and if not well, I will just find the next bus out," Jessi said, shrugging like she didn't have a care in the world. I wish life could be that wonderful again, to go where the wind blew me.

"I personally don't give a fuck what Edward did. I never made the deal to begin with, so I won't be going, plus Emmett would kill him if he knew what he did. Don't let him tell you what to do … if you want to stay … stay. If you want to leave with Alice and Jasper, go for it. I will be here so you can hang with me and you won't even have to worry about that shithead," Rose said, looking like she was filing her nails as she talked and that was what I loved about her. There was no one who could get under her skin, not even Edward.

"Emmett's planning on quitting the band after the tour anyways. Actually, once we're in LA, he is getting a job with his uncle in Tacoma."

"Oh," I said.

"Don't worry doll, Emmett's decision has nothing to do with Edward or the others. He just thinks it's time. The records haven't been selling and he knows his place in the band, and knows that he will be the first made to leave when it all falls apart." She shrugged. I didn't really know much about the other band members, and apparently Rose had found someone she was willing to spend a while with.

"I'm happy for you," I said, walking over to her and pulling her into my arms. I couldn't help that the tears once again took over me. I stood in her arms as she lightly rubbed my back. I was happy she had potential love waiting for her and sad that I had misread the whole situation with Edward.

I barely overheard Alice talking on the phone in the room, but within minutes there was a knock on my door. I pulled from Rose's embrace and watched as Alice allowed Jasper into the room.

"Bella, you're more than welcome to accompany us back to LA. I thought that was the plan to begin with, but it seems Edward has changed his damn mind," Jasper said, but he didn't look one bit happy. I hadn't ever seen that look on his face before. Jasper was usually pretty laid back and never really showed much emotion. He knew when to step in and take control of situations, to keep them from becoming more than they should. Even when dealing with a moron in the clubs or along the road, he never looked as pissed as he did in that moment. Jasper pulled me into his arms and hugged me as the girls gathered around, hugging me too. This would probably be the last time we all would ever be in the same place again. This tour had changed our lives, some for the good and some not so good.

~AASS~

Boarding the bus to New York was hard and Edward wouldn't even look in my direction, and I barely glanced out of the corner of my eye to look at him. He looked like shit. I assumed it was from the large amount of coke and alcohol he had consumed last night while playing poker. I didn't even give him the benefit of seeing me cry either. If somewhere inside of him he was actually regretting his decisions, I wanted him to hurt thinking I never cared. Sitting with Jake was another blow I wanted to throw, hurt him like he hurt me.

The bus ride was eerily quiet; I guess the end was drawing near for all of us. The good times that had been shared on previous rides were over, and now I could see the cracks in the group. Garrett sat in the corner, not even talking to anyone. Jasper and Alice were in their own little bubble in the back of the bus; so were Emmett and Rose. Jake and I didn't even speak. Hell, we didn't even look at each other. Mike sat quietly reading a book, and Jessi was long gone.

When they pulled up at the Gramercy Park Hotel, Edward was the first to get off the bus. The tension in the air was probably choking him like it was choking me. I watched as a blonde woman standing in the lobby rushed into his arms. I knew exactly who the woman was … Kate. I was nothing like her. She had on nice dress pants, a blue blouse, and her hair was in place. Some days I was lucky to get my rat's nest combed out good enough to tie back. I wasn't anything like Kate, and being he wasn't getting a divorce from her, apparently she was what she wanted.

Jasper walked up beside me, scaring the shit out of me.

"She doesn't hold his heart, I know that much," Jasper said, watching the couple in front of us. They hadn't kissed yet and I didn't know if he just didn't want to or if he didn't want me to see how much they were in love.

"Don't placate me, Jasper; he doesn't love me, which was obvious. He never wanted to divorce her, and now it looks like he never will."

"Don't be so sure. Many don't know I'm still going through my divorce." My head whipped around to look at him. I never knew Jasper was married.

"She thought she was pregnant; parent's wanted me to do the right thing. Alice knows, but I don't talk about it with the guys. It's not like any of them can relate. Plus, she was gone before this gig ever started."

"Alice never said anything about it to me," I said. I was completely and utterly shocked that Jasper had been married. Here it was I had assumed everyone was perfect except for Edward.

"I asked her not to tell any of you girls, but felt like if she was going to be with me, she had to know."

"Do you have a kid?" I asked because he had said something about marrying her because she was pregnant.

"Yeah, Jackson … he's three," Jasper said, once again bowling me over. I had never heard anything about any of this, and I thought Edward was his friend. I worried about Alice instantly. She was walking into a readymade family with an ex wife, or soon to be. Jasper pulled out a picture of him and a little boy with light blonde hair and brown eyes.

"He's cute," I said.

"He hasn't met the guys and like I said, I don't run around airing out my business. So, no one knows … well except Alice and now you, but don't say anything. In a couple of hours, I will be on a plane back to LA and no one needs to know about my personal life."

While talking to Jasper, I no longer focused on Edward and Kate, and when I looked up, they were no longer in the lobby. I turned and smiled at Jasper. He smiled back; it was his way of getting my mind off what was happening in front of me. In that moment, I think I loved him too.

"You're staying in our room tonight," Tink said, grabbing my elbow and leading me down the lobby hall to the elevators.

~AASS~

Jasper and Tink were heading out first thing in the morning, and tonight the band was having a dinner for Jasper as a going away party. However, everything was going to be low key because of Kate. The princess wasn't about to party like a rock star, and she couldn't hang. I thought it was ridiculous that all the guys in the band were going to act like they did nothing just to appease her.

I watched as Alice ran around the room getting her outfit together to wear for the night. She was going to the dinner too. Edward had asked that none of the girls left be brought to dinner, but Tink and Rose told him to kiss their asses. I guessed Edward was worried that I would show at the dinner and tell his lovely fucking wife about how he fucked me. I wasn't going to do something like that; he should have known me better by now.

"You know you could come to dinner. Rose and I could blow off the boys and sit with you. We could sit next to them to drive Edward crazy."

"Nah, I would only start crying when I see them having fun together. It's better this way. Plus, I'm thinking about heading out with you guys in the morning. I don't think I can stay and watch them together."

"That sounds great. The label is paying for the trip … private plane … so you don't have to buy a ticket," she said, winking at me in the mirror of the dresser.

"I need to sleep so I can be ready to leave."

"Okay, we shouldn't be gone long, and if you need anything, don't hesitate to call. It's the restaurant downstairs," she said, looking over her hair and face before grabbing her purse.

"Have fun," I said sarcastically. I didn't know how fun having dinner with Edward and Kate was going to be.

"Always," she said, opening the door and walking out. Jasper had been waiting outside the room on her. It took her longer than he liked to get ready, but he waited. He leaned in waving at me before they left.

I stretched out on the bed. Counting the titles on the ceiling wasn't all that appealing, but it was something to do. It didn't take long before my mind drifted to Edward and Kate. Kate was my primary focus; she looked prim and proper in her attire. She looked sophisticated and high classed. All the things I wasn't, but what if I could be. I shot straight out of the bed and rushed over to Tink's things. Tink had always been the most fashionable of the group. Surely, she had something I could wear to class things up a bit.

Twenty minutes later and Tink's clothes spread out around the room, I found the outfit I wanted to wear. Allowing Edward to see that I could be just like Kate, I didn't know what I would accomplish, but I had to do something besides lay here and pine away for him.

I walked out of the room, feeling good about myself. I left my hair loose, hanging around my face in curls and put on a minimal amount of makeup with a little lip gloss. Thank God, both Tink and I not only being the same size in clothes, but also in shoes. I slipped into the form fitting black shirt, pulled the black shirt into place, and slipped the blue jean jacket onto my arms. The black heels in her closet matched the outfit perfectly.

Climbing on the elevator, a man fell over his feet while he was looking at me, and I knew I had something great going for myself. When I left the elevator, the lobby was practically empty, but I saw the restaurant and headed straight over. I slipped by the hostess and spotted the group having dinner. I couldn't move from where I was standing. Edward had his arm around the back of Kate's chair, both of them were laughing and talking. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes. It was a knife in the back. How could he be that cold hearted?

Edward looked my way. The look on his face was classic. All the color drained from his face, his eyes had dilated, and became bigger as he looked at me. I guess Kate noticed this look and looked in my direction too. Her look wasn't all that nice, and in that minute, whether he had admitted it or not … she knew. I could see it in her eyes, the hatred. I could feel her eyes burning a hole in me, but before I could approach the table or even turn and flee the scene, Jasper walked over to me quickly.

"Bella, what are you doing?" he asked, grabbing my elbow and leading me out of the restaurant.

"I had to show him," I replied stupidly as the tears slipped over the rims of my eyes. I brushed them away quickly, but Jasper still noticed.

"He knows … baby girl trust me, he knows," Jasper replied, kissing my forehead.

"Go up stairs, watch some TV, or take a sleeping pill. I will send Alice along shortly and then we can forget about this tour. Okay?" he asked. I nodded, pulling away from his body and walking out of the lobby toward the elevators. I didn't hold back the tears.

Just as the elevator doors were about to close, someone stopped them. I looked up and saw James, standing there smiling. He quickly entered the elevator.

"Eddie done playing with you already?" he asked, smirking at me. I didn't like this situation at all.

"We're not split up. He just needed to take care of a few things first," I said, trying to stand straight and give off the look of confidence, even though at this point I didn't have any. I still acted like nothing could bother me.

"I bet you know you're not the first one to be in this situation." I didn't move a muscle.

"You want some of these to make you feel better?" James asked, holding out a handful of pills. I knew what they were, Quaaludes. My mother had taken them before to help her sleep. Figuring that I could sleep instead of lying in bed and counting the titles again, I let down my walls.

"How much?" I asked.

"Twenty," James replied. I reached into the purse I had with me and pulled out all the money I had.

"Fifteen," I said showing him it was all I had.

"Fifteen and I tell Eddie to give me another five."

"Whatever," I said because at this point I didn't care. James handed me the pills. There were about twenty of them, and even though at the moment I knew I didn't really need twenty, I knew they would come in handy the next couple of days to help me get over things.

I slipped out of the elevator and over to my room. I quickly used the key and entered. I sat on the end of the bed looking at the pills I still had grasped in my hands.

What's there to live for?

No one cares about me.

No one wants me.

Walking over to the faucet in the bathroom, I pulled a cup from the plastic and filled it with water. I looked in the mirror one last time before I threw ten pills in my mouth and swallowed. Wiping my face with the wash cloth trying to remove the mascara that had run down my face from crying; I looked like a mess.

I had walked into the room, when there was a knock on the door. I quickly opened it to see Jake.

"Izzy," he said entering the room as I held the door open for him.

"Have a drink with me," I said heading toward the mini bar in the room and pulling out the liquor bottles. I opened them sucking down the alcohol quickly causing my throat to burn. I coughed as the liquid slide down my throat. Jake walked over to me and was patting my back; I turned around, falling into his arms giggling.

"Izzy, what is wrong with you?"

"Dance with me," I said.

"There's no music on," he retorted.

"Just dance with me, we don't have to have music," I said, swaying my hips to the beat in my mind. I cling to Jake's arms, not being able to stand any longer.

"I have loved you from the moment I saw you," Jake said.

Jake kept talking and talking … I couldn't … keep … up …w …it… his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so something terrible has happened … never fear the story is not over. However, where could it go from here? I don't know if the next chapter will be Jake's outtake of what happened or if I will continue on with Edward. I have to see what I have up my sleeve. Sorry, this chapter was a little shorter than the last couple, but I tried to fill it as much as possible.


	12. Outtake #2: Don't Fear the Reaper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter we are dealing with a girl who is not yet an adult technically. We sometimes make stupid assumptions and sometimes do things that we shouldn't, so be advised. There will be stupid thoughts and mistakes made. I didn't want anyone to complain. Suicide is also addressed in this chapter … if this is something hard for you to read please stop now, and know that things got really tough for her and she struggled, she will live through another chapter. –Thanks!
> 
> Jake is a lifesaver in this outtake. He truly loves Bella and can't help it.

Outtake #2

This outtake takes placed right after chapter 10

Don't Fear the Reaper

Jake's POV

I followed Izzy out of the restaurant and into the lobby. I didn't make it on the elevator in time because someone tripped me and I fell on my ass. Picking myself up from the floor, I climbed aboard the next elevator and headed toward her room. I knew Izzy was hurting. She was just too stubborn to really say how much, and I knew it had to be bad.

When I reached her door, I knocked and waited until she came to open it. She opened the door looking like a wreck. Izzy had never looked this bad during the tour, and I could see the stress of the situation weighing on her shoulders. If only she would allow me to help her, things would be better.

"Izzy," I said, entering the room as she held the door open for me.

"Have a drink with me," she said, walking toward the mini bar in the room. I didn't want anything to drink, but I watched Izzy down about five bottles of liquor in a second. When she started coughing, I hurried to her side and patted her back, hoping she wasn't choking or something. As she turned around, she stumbled and fell into my arms. She giggled.

"Izzy, what is wrong with you?"

"Dance with me," she said.

"There's no music on," I retorted.

"Just dance with me. We don't have to have music," she said, swaying her hips to a beat that must have been playing in her head. She clung to my arms and when she couldn't stand, I held on to her to keep her from falling to the floor.

"I have loved you from the moment I saw you," I said. A part of me hated saying those things to her now. I knew she was hurting. I could see the look on her face, but I wanted her to know she had me. If she ever wanted me, I would be hers.

"You don't know how many times I wished you wanted me," I said to her, lightly kissing her hair. I stood still when I noticed that Izzy wasn't moving anymore to the beat she had set a few minutes ago.

"Izzy," I said, looking down at her. Her eyes were closed and she looked to be asleep. I wondered, if she had passed out from the alcohol she had consumed in front of me, but that seemed a little wrong to me. I had seen Izzy drink more than those couple of bottles in the mini fridge.

"Izzy," I said, shaking her body. Walking her over to the couch I laid her down and that was when I noticed she was barely fucking breathing.

"Izzy, wake the fuck up," I shouted and moved her every way possible trying to get her to come to. When she didn't, I panicked and ran to the door of the room opening the door and screamed down the hall.

"Help me, please … she's not breathing. God, help me," I screamed and banged on every door around her room until a man emerged from one of the room.

"I'm a doctor. Which room?" he asked, rushing out. I lead him to Izzy's room and watched as he quickly looked over her. I had left the door standing open and a woman leaned in the room.

"What has she taken?" the doctor asked, while he started picking Izzy up into his arms.

"I don't know … she drank a couple of the vodkas from the mini bar, but that's all I know," I said, standing back and watching the scene unfold in front of me. The woman had now full entered the room and was talking to the doctor. Apparently, she was a nurse and was staying a couple of rooms down when she heard the commotion and came to investigate. The rest of the things they were saying were totally over my head and made no fucking sense.

Once the doctor had scooped up Izzy and carried her to the bathroom, the woman left. I followed both of them into the restroom and watched as the doctor sat Izzy on the side of the bath tub. Just then the woman returned with the doctor's bag, or what I assumed was his bag.

He reached in pulling out some kind of mask like looking thing, a tube, and a big syringe looking thing. The woman shoved part of the contraption over her mouth as the doctor hooked the tube to it and in a matter of minutes they had Izzy throwing up through the tube from her mouth. The doctor stood up, coming over to me as the woman assisted her.

"It looks like your friend might have digested some kind of pills. She's going to need to rest and be watched."

My mind spiraled out of fucking control. Had Izzy tried to kill herself because of what was going on with Edward? If she did, that shit pissed me off. He wasn't worth her life.

"I will be coming to check on her, but I would assume the worst is over," the doctor said as the woman pulled the mask and tube from Izzy's mouth. I looked over at the scene; Izzy was still leaning over the tub coughing and throwing up as the woman massaged her back, talking to her.

"Come on son, she's going to be okay. Let's give them a few moments to clean up," the doctor said, leading me out of the room. I walked over to the couch and sat down, placing my head in my hands. I was scared to death and never wanted to see something like that ever again in my life.

~DFTR~

It took Izzy a while to come out of the bathroom; she was heavily assisted by the woman who had helped her. The woman led her to the bed and helped her to get in. I didn't move, still stuck in the moments before, when things were really bad.

"She will be fine, let her rest … no questions tonight. Allow her to rest; she will be having a hard time talking tonight." The woman patted my back; she and the doctor gathered their things and left the room. I wanted to ask Izzy if she had tried to kill herself, but I didn't want to harm her.

"Jake," Izzy whispered.

"Yeah," I whispered, getting closer to her.

"Thanks," she mumbled, rolling over into the covers. I sat beside the bed and listened to her cry herself to sleep.

Hours passed before Jasper and Tink returned to the room. I pulled them to the side and told them about the past couple of hours and the scare of what may have been. Both were shocked and completely speechless. Tink promised to watch over her during the night and I left the room, completely numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, now we know what really happened in that hotel room with Jake. I bet Jake was scared out of his skin. Things will get better for Izzy. She just has to find her way there, which we will see in a couple of more chapters. We will be hearing from Jake again much later in the story.


	13. Fooled Around and Fell In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Fooled Around and Fell in Love – Elvin Bishop
> 
> Edward spirals out of control.We see what the record company does to him and what has happened to Bella.

Chapter 11

Fooled Around and Fell In Love

EPOV

I didn't even go to the room after what happened at the poker game. I knew I had fucked up majorly. I had promised my mother I would think things through before going and doing something stupid, but I had done it anyway and couldn't take it back. I spent the night in the lobby, lying on the couch. The woman at the front desk kept hounding me, so I couldn't get a good night's rest on that crappy couch.

At six, when she begged me to please get up, I did. I headed into the little room where they had a continental breakfast and sat there drinking coffee, trying to get over the headache that now permeated my brain. I rubbed my temples, trying to alleviate some of the pain, but it didn't help. I reached into my pocket, pulling out one of the pain pills I had and swallowed it with my next sip of coffee.

The 'Love Bands' walked in, and I immediately left the room, but noticed that Izzy wasn't with them. I figured I would pack my shit from the room when I knew that Izzy had left. Actually, I didn't really want to get rid of the girls, but last night it seemed like a good plan. Now it was just a matter of them finding out and then dealing with the fallout from it. I prayed Izzy would go with them, though that part of the plan still seemed good to me.

I hung around in the dark corners of the hotel and watched as everyone gathered their things and got ready to board the bus. When the coast was clear, I entered our room and gathered my belongings and headed out toward the bus. As usual, I was the last one to enter and stuck with a seat in the front. I wasn't going to complain, and I waited for someone to say something, but no one ever did.

One thing about the ride to New York, the tension was so thick you could cut it with a fucking knife. When the bus pulled up in front of the Gramercy Park Hotel, I was the first to get off the bus. I wanted out of that situation quickly. Plus I didn't want to give the remaining girls the opportunity to catch up with my ass. I knew I was going to get an earful when they got me alone. I walked into the lobby and right into Kate.

"Edward," she said, running over to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. I tried to shake her off, but she wouldn't have it. She had never and I mean never done anything like this before in the entire time we had been married. It was then that my mother's words made sense. I had to be careful around her and make sure I kept her at arm's length.

"Kate," I replied, looking around to see if Izzy had entered the lobby yet. When our eyes met for a brief moment, I could see the hurt in hers and I knew that they matched my own. I wanted to be with her like we were before Kate decided to come to New York. I wanted her to meet my parents, give her the life she had always dreamed about, and be the man I know I can be for her. I would give it all away in a heartbeat to be with her. All she had to do was say the word, and it would be done, but she had to understand there were people still standing in my way of being with her. Once those people were out of my life for good, I would find her. Like my mother had said, 'If you love something set it free. If it returns, it was meant to be' and that was the plan. To set her free, to let her chose. Not that I wouldn't find her later to convince her to come back with me because I would, but I had to let her find herself. Now I could see how selfish it was to want her to go with 'The Hawks.' It wasn't a good idea any more.

I was happy she didn't go now, but sad that she would have to sit and watch as I had to play games with Kate. I knew I would have to do a percentage of things with Kate, but Izzy wouldn't know they were all show. She would probably assume the worst, and I never wanted her to go through that. Maybe she might leave with Jasper and Tink, if she thought that would be the best option for her. I hated the idea, but at least I knew where to start looking when I finally got rid of Kate.

"So, I was thinking that being we haven't been together in a while, you must be pretty horny," Kate whispered in my ear, pulling my attention from Izzy.

"I'm fine at the moment, maybe later. Oh, but we have a dinner tonight so … we will just play it by ear," I said, trying to deflect the situation. I wasn't going to sleep with her, no matter how hard she tried. That was one thing I wouldn't budge on.

Letting my arms that were barely touching Kate go slack, I began to pull away when she pulled me back into her embrace.

"You're fucking her, aren't you?" she seethed through clinched teeth, looking in the direction I knew Izzy was with Jasper.

"No, why would you say that?" I asked, denying everything. 'Ask me no questions and I won't tell you no lies' best line ever from a song.

"You haven't kissed me, and you're not even excited to see me. It's been a month since I saw you in Seattle, and you didn't touch me then. So, who have you been getting it from, one of the other little groupies on this tour?" she asked, looking around and spotting both Tink and Rose, who were glaring at us at the moment.

"All three? Wow, aren't you the stud of the group," Kate sneered, pulling out of the embrace and walking in their direction. I had to stop her before she caused a fucking scene. Plus I was a little afraid what Rose might do to her. I didn't want to have to make that phone call, and it wouldn't look good on my behalf for the divorce papers. I grabbed her arm, making her look at me.

"I haven't slept with anyone … groupies or otherwise. Also, none of those girls are groupies, so stop referring to them as such. Have you ever thought that maybe I'm just not that into you anymore?" I asked, leading her out of the lobby and up to our room. I knew she already had one, and I wasn't about to let her try to say something to Izzy or the others again.

"I shouldn't have come if you no longer want me around," she seethed, pulling from my grasps to walk ahead of me. I wasn't going to complain. At least she was doing what I wanted her to.

"We are going to work this out, and you will stop seeing the little groupie in the lobby … how old is she … ten?" she asked, as the elevator closed on us.

"She's not ten, and I'm not sleeping with her," I stated again. My blood was beginning to boil with her talking of Izzy like that.

"Whatever, but you will fuck me this week, and when we get back to LA, things are going to change," she said, as the doors opened on the elevator, alerting us that we were on our floor.

"You made it this way when you left from LA and wouldn't support my career," I said, right on her tail. I would have to work something out with Mike or Garrett to see about shacking up with them tonight because there was no way in hell I would be putting my ass in the same bed as her. I wasn't about to give her an inch.

She ignored me and walked down to the room, opening the door. I hesitantly placed my bags in the room. I would just take them somewhere else while she was taking a shower to get ready for tonight's dinner.

Kate stripped out of her clothes and crawled onto the bed naked. I tried not to look, but I did with her ass in the air at one point.

"What are you doing?" I hissed, looking down, not wanting to look at her again. It wasn't that Kate wasn't beautiful because she was, but she had just lost the appeal she had once had to me.

"If you're not sleeping with anyone like you say … then you won't be able to resist having temptation in your face."

Picking up my bags, I headed toward the door.

"Dinner's at seven. Be ready and put on some fucking clothes," I said, opening the door and leaving. She is up to something and the way she wanted me to fuck her so badly makes me wonder if she isn't trying to get pregnant. I am not about to stick my cock in her for two reasons … Izzy and I am not having a baby with her.

Mike wasn't exactly happy when I showed up at his room. It seemed he was a little mad at me about the girls. I don't know why it bothered him. It wasn't like he was fucking any of them. With nowhere to go, I went downstairs to the reservation desk and booked my own fucking room. Who needed any of these losers any ways?

~AASS~

Dinner was rather uneventful, with Kate talking to others around the table and finally getting along with everyone for once in her life. Garrett seemed to hang on every word she uttered, which I thought was a little unusual. Jessi or any of the other girls had never caused him to act like he was. He smiled like he didn't have a care in the world and laughed at everything she said. Personally, I didn't find anything that came out of her mouth cute or even remotely funny. I guess the aura of Kate had already worn off, but that wasn't something that was really news to me.

Resting my arm behind her chair was something of habit, and something I had also done with both her and Izzy, but I didn't realize the problems it would cause. I was listening to Jasper talk about how the new manager was setting us up right. Every show, we would be flown to instead of us having to ride 'Old Bertha' around the world. There was a tingle sensation crawled up my spine, making me shiver. There was only one person on this planet that ever had that effect on my body, and I didn't know whether to look over at her or just act like nothing happened.

I didn't move at first, bouncing my leg waiting on her to come over and make a scene. Dinner hadn't been the easiest thing to get through, but Tink and Rose avoided all my questions or didn't even look in my direction. This was why I didn't want Izzy here. I wouldn't expect her to sit across from Kate and me and play nice. I couldn't do it for her, and I sure as hell didn't expect her to do it either. The girls noticed Izzy first, and when I watched them whispering to one another, I turned to look.

About falling out of my chair, I saw Izzy like I had never seen her before. She was absolutely beautiful, gorgeous, and vixen like, standing across from us. I couldn't stop looking. She had her hair down and flowing around her shoulders. The black top was tight and showing off everything about her chest, making me want to be with her, instead of Kate at the moment. I couldn't stop looking, caught in her gaze until I felt nails claw into my legs. I looked down and noticed it was Kate's hand digging into me. I looked up at her, pissed she was hurting me for no good damn reason. "Oww," I said, alerting Jasper that something was wrong. That's when I noticed the glare she was casting in Izzy's direction.

Jasper quickly jumped up from the table and strolled over to Izzy, grabbing her elbow to lead her out of the restaurant. Kate's clawing into me didn't stop. In fact, it got fucking worse as she narrowed her eyes at me. I leaned over into her hair, making it look like I was about to whisper sweet words into her ear.

"Get… your… fucking… hands… off… me…now," I slowly threatened, so only she could hear. I grabbed her fucking hand under the table and gave it a little squeeze. I didn't hurt her, but I wanted her to get the damn drift. I had never been this course with her in all my life; even when coked out, I had never laid a hand on her or said an ill word. I usually allowed her to rant and fucking rave about shit; all while never really paying attention. I had always allowed her to run all over me, but it still pissed me off and got on my damn nerves. Not any more, I was over this whole damn charade.

Kate didn't say another word and Jasper returned giving me a shitty look. I knew I had it coming from him already, but nothing would be said here. It was something we would discuss in private. Always in private … Jasper wasn't much for airing out dirty laundry, and never talked about Tink and his adventures. I guess some would say we were similar in that respect because no one besides him knew the real me anymore. Garrett didn't know shit about me or what I was going through personally. I hardly spoke to Mike or Emmett unless it was something about music or our performance. That was the way I wanted it.

After dinner, Kate tried to follow me back to the room I had rented for my stay, but I had to find a way to lose her. When I told her I was going out for drinks, she wanted to come. I allowed her to come with me down town to get a couple of beers, at which she bitched about how we could have stayed at the hotel to have a couple of beers.

It was then I noticed that Kate didn't want anything to drink other than water. I thought about dinner as she proceeded to bitch beside me about how shitty the bar was, but I tuned her out and thought. It was weird the way she was acting. Like something was off with her. She didn't eat much during dinner and complained about the smell of the fish I had gotten. She was trying to crawl up my fucking ass the entire time we were at dinner, but I played it off to her putting on an act for the others. I couldn't put my finger on what was going on, and with her constant talking beside me, I couldn't think. I called for the check and paid the bartender, determined to get the hell out of there before they ran us off. Kate was talking so loud I didn't know if we were going to get our asses kicked before we made it out.

Once on the curb, I hailed a taxi and decided to get rid of my problem. When the taxi stopped in front of us, I placed my hand on the small of Kate's back and lightly pushed her into the cab, making her climb in first. It worked like a charm. I leaned in like I was about to get in too and told the cabbie the address to the hotel we were staying. Before Kate could move, I shut the door and tapped the roof alerting the cabbie he could go. Kate spun around to look at me as the taxi pulled out into traffic and down the road. I did the shittiest thing and waved to her as she pulled out of sight.

"Good riddance," I said, as they disappeared. I didn't want to go back to the hotel because I was sure she would be waiting for me in the lobby when I got there. I also didn't want to stand here or wait for her to tell the cabbie to stop and come back. So, I ran down the block, crossing at different intersections until I found another hotel. I ducked inside and rented a room for the night. I used an assumed name, Han Solo, to register, just in case she called around looking for me. I wondered if it would work, but the receptionist just looked at me funny. She took my money and handed me the key. I laughed all the way to the room. I couldn't wait to tell Jasper it really worked.

~AASS~

Walking back to the hotel in the morning wasn't all that fun, but I had to be back before the sound check at Madison Square Garden. It didn't take me to long to get back; the hotel I had stayed at was only a couple of blocks from Gramercy Park Hotel.

As I walked into the lobby of the hotel, I saw Jasper and Alice at the front desk. Figuring they were heading out already, I stopped to ask Jasper if Izzy was going with them.

"Hey man, I have to tell you the funniest sh…" I said, patting him on the back to get his attention.

"We need to fucking talk," he growled, cutting me off before I could finish, looking over toward Tink, who looked extremely pissed. He handed her some money and told her to take care of it. Jasper grabbed my elbow and pushed me towards the entrance.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked, as he shoved me along the way. I knew everyone was pissed about trying to give the girls to another band, but never figured Jasper would be this pissed about it. Now, I was regretting even having to know what she was up to and if she was going to LA with them.

Once outside, Jasper pointed around to the corner of the building where there was an alleyway. Before I could get words out of my mouth to apologize for my stupid actions, Jasper reared back and punched me right in the fucking nose. Causing my nose to bleed, I reached up pinching my nose and holding my head back.

"Who are you?" he screamed. I stood there, knowing I probably deserved more than what he had given me, but not saying a word because blood was running down my fucking throat.

"Edward, this isn't like you … you've made dumb decision before … trust me I know, but you almost ruined her life last night, and you weren't even around to know what you did," he hollered, pacing around the alley.

"You've broken her, and in the middle of the fucking night … she disappeared. Gone, I don't know where the fuck she is and don't know if she is safe. Alice is madder than hell at you, and I highly … highly suggest you stay away from Rose Bud. She's out to fucking kill you," he said, calming himself down.

"What? What happened?" I asked, muffled from the fact I was still pinching my nose.

"She's gone, Edward … last night after she saw Kate and you in the restaurant, Izzy went back to our room. I don't know how she fucking got a hold of Quaaludes, but she ate them. A handful of them, man! Thank God, Jake found her and rushed to get a doctor," he said, as I let go of my nose and crashed to the ground fucking crying. What had I done?

"Look, I will try to find her, but I don't know where to start looking or how long it's going to take," Jasper sighed.

"Find her and make sure she is okay, but don't tell me. I don't deserve her … never did … it's best if I don't know. I would only ruin her further if I saw her again. It's over," I said, picking myself up off the fucking ground and walked toward the entrance. Jasper yelled my name over and over, but I would never turn to face him.

I walked right passed Tink and didn't say a word. I headed straight to my room, pulling out the damn bottles from the mini fridge and drank every one of them.

~AASS~

Mike pulled me out of the bed when it was time for the sound check at the garden. I drank all the way there, during the entire show, and all the way back to the hotel. Kate tagged along for everything, but I ditched her once again by disappearing as she talked to some of the wives from the main act. I didn't have time for her shit tonight and didn't want to see her.

I walked to the closest bar and sat there drinking for the remainder of the night, and when the bar closed at two in the morning, I crawled toward the first hotel that wasn't mine and rented another room. I called Mike to let him know where I was, but gave him strict instructions to not tell Kate where I was. Mike was the only one I could trust not to tell her. Emmett would tell her because of Rose Bud and Garrett, well, I didn't trust him at all. When I entered the room, I grabbed the bottles from the fridge and collapsed in the bed finishing them off.

The loud as fuck ringing of the phone woke me up.

"What?" I screamed into the phone, as my head continue to pound from the hangover I now had.

"It's Mike. Look, you need to get here. Aro and the new manager, Caius, have called a meeting. The whole band is supposed to be here, plus we are getting ready to leave for Connecticut."

"Fine, I'll be there," I said, hanging up the phone before Mike could say any more.

I dreaded the meeting with Aro and Caius. They would corner me after the band meeting and want to know my decision about the solo career. I still hadn't made up my mind completely, but my best idea was to cut the band lose of all future obligations.

After showering, I headed back over to Gramercy Park Hotel. I walked up to my room and quickly gathered my things. As I was coming out of my room, Garrett and Kate walked by laughing until they saw me.

"Edward, there you are … you had us worried," Kate said, coming over to me and pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sure you were distraught," I sneered, lightly shoving her away from my body.

"Of course, I was with what happened to that groupie, Izzy … the whole hotel has been talking about it. Seems she was a drug addicted, who tried to overdose last night because she was in love with a band member who wouldn't return her affections," Kate said narrowing her eyes at me. I ignored her and focused on the task at hand, finding out the location of this meeting and how soon.

"When is the meeting?" I asked, looking over to Garrett.

"Couple of minutes. They set up a board room downstairs. Apparently, whatever decisions they are making affects everyone," Garrett said, looking at the floor. I thought it was odd that out of all the times in Garrett's life, even when the record label was here, he couldn't look me in the eye.

Narrowing my eyes at him, I wondered what could be his fucking problem and why now? I asked him what room, and once he had satisfied my questions, he hurried down the hall and out of sight.

Kate slide beside me once again and played with the collar of my shirt, acting like she was picking lint or something off it.

"I spoke to Aro and Caius earlier," she said, continuing to pull something off me. It was like she was my mother, making sure I looked my best for the meeting.

"What about? Because the way I see things … you have no reason to even be socializing with them."

"They came looking for you in our room. The room you are supposed to share with your wife. Well, they wanted to know if you had made a decision about going solo yet. Actually, they said you would make it to the top if you would just pull away from the extra baggage," she said, brushing down the front of my shirt and raising her arms to touch my hair.

"Don't," I sneered. I didn't want her touching me at all, and I knew this was another one of her games. Kate had dollar signs and a paycheck in her sights; I just knew it.

"Fine, but you're taking the solo career, and I will be with you the entire time."

"What? Now, you want to come on tour with me. What the fuck is your problem here lately? One minute you want me to head home and forget about my music career, and now that you hear about me going solo … you want me to stay? Not only do you want me to take the job, but you want to stay with me?" I asked, knowing this was coming from her if she found out and the reason why I didn't want her to know.

As long as I was nobody, for her, I was better off in Seattle with her, but if I could be somebody, well, that meant Kate wanted me to have a solo career. However, if three or four months into the new job, if I wasn't doing well, it would be back to running home for Kate. It was the same back and forth shit I had dealt with in the beginning.

"I could see that things would be different being on the road with just you," she purred, leaning into kiss me, but I stepped back.

"No, Kate … I'm not taking it," I said, walking away from her and leaving her in the hallway to figure out where to go. One thing I was positive about was that Kate wasn't invited to the meeting, and when I took the solo career, well, I would hide everything from her until I could get a divorce. The question was would I be able to pull it all off.

Stepping into the conference room was a little formal for the band. We were used to discussing backstage or on the tour bus.

"Welcome everyone …" Aro said, standing at the head of the table "… 'Midnight Riders' … you are about to go through some changes," he said, walking around the table.

"The first changes are that you will no longer be riding the tour bus. From now on you will be flying to and from all the shows left on the tour." I didn't have much of an opinion about flying or not. To tell the truth, I was happy we wouldn't be climbing back on the bus. The bus had too many memories of Izzy and not having to ride the thing for the remainder of the tour was a fucking relief.

"Now, for the second leg of the US tour …" Caius started "… we are sorry to say that we will not be picking the 'Midnight Riders' for the second leg. So, after the shows in Canada, you will no longer be employed with MCA." I knew it was fucking coming.

"What?" Garrett yelled. "You promised me the band would finish out the second half," Garrett hollered, standing from his chair, causing it to hit the wall behind him. I couldn't believe he had been talking to them without the band, but at least he was focused on the band for once and not himself.

"Please calm down, and we will explain," Aro said. Garrett pulled his chair back to the table, but was still fuming.

"Record sales haven't increased since you came on the tour. We've tried everything possible to get the buzz out about you, but nothing has worked. Bands like yours are a dying breed. Things are moving away from the older bands of the seventies and more into glam rock. Unless you plan on going back to the studio, change the way you sound, and the way you dress … well then maybe, we have something to work with," Caius said, looking around the table for someone to offer some kind of agreement. I knew that Garrett didn't want to get into the new generation of music. Hell, I didn't want to dye my hair blonde or tease it … it was hard enough to control as it was. I saw the way the new generation looked and all of them had big hair like girls and wore makeup. I wasn't interested and neither was half the band.

"I told you the other day, we're not a glam rock band." Garrett started yelling again.

"Well, unless you plan on changing, then we have nothing to work with," Caius said. I knew something like this could happen with a new manager coming on. Jasper would have fought for us not to change, stating there was still a need or fans out there, but now dealing with Caius, it was either his way or no way.

"To tell you the truth we are not interested in trying to revamp a dying breed," Aro said, sitting down at the head of the table.

"What about solo careers? You also said if the band couldn't make it, you would be offering me one? Is that still on the table?" Garrett asked, grasping for anything to keep himself in the game.

"Unless you plan on following the same rules as the band … then no, we won't be extending you that offer," Aro said, leaning back in his chair, while folding his arms over his chest.

"You won't offer me one, but you'll offer this fucking prick one?" Garrett asked, while looking in my direction.

"What happens with Edward and us is our decision and none of your business," Caius said, narrowing his eyes at Garrett.

"You've always wanted him as your little puppet, and now you've got it. What did you do, Edward? Screw us all by taking the solo career? I thought we were in this until the end."

"I haven't signed up to do shit," I sneered at Garrett.

"Not yet, but give it time. They always wanted you … always made you the spokesperson, the lead, but you know what, you never were. Do they know how many songs you have written? Ten … ten fucking songs out of thirty; a fucking third of what we have done. You have no talent … you can't write for shit, and you're a fucking addict on top of that," Garrett sneered. I lunged across the table, tired of his bullshit, and now that things were falling apart at the seams, I didn't hold back.

I punched Garrett right in the fucking mouth. Mainly because I was tired of hearing him complain about how bad life was for him. He had it fucking made … we all did, but he was never happy and never willing to change; that was his mistake. Garrett landed a couple of shots to my eye before the crew pulled us apart.

Garrett was ushered out of the room, and I was shoved into a chair. Aro dismissed the others, letting them know when the flight was leaving, and when the car would arrive to pick them up. Emmett and Mike had been quiet the entire meeting. The only time Emmett spoke was to ask about Rose Bud accompanying him on the flight. We were flying in a private plane, so it didn't matter who came along.

Once everyone was out, Aro and Caius closed the door, and I knew what was coming.

"It's time," Caius said.

"What's it going to be?" Aro asked.

"What choice do I really have?" I asked, utterly defeated. I knew they would hold us responsible for all the records, tours, and any charges they wanted to tack on.

"You have a choice here. Don't make us out to be the bad guys here," Caius said, motioning between Aro and him. Aro reached into his brief case and pulled out a contract. He slid the papers over to me.

"Whatever, where do I sign?" I asked, pulling the pages closer to me. Caius pulled out a pen and handed it over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so don't hate me first of all … Izzy's gone. The band has officially been fired, and Edward is about to embark on a solo career. Things aren't looking so good for our couple here. The remaining chapters will follow the same pattern of back and forth between POVs, but they will no longer be together. Please stay to see what happens next.


	14. Love Bites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella has to find a way out of her situation. After last night's events, she knows that being around Kate and Edward would hurt too much. She doesn't care about following another band and Renee … well she could go back to that situation. Let's see which one she chooses.
> 
> Song for this chapter – Love Bites by Def Leppard

Chapter 12

Love Bites

BPOV

I woke in the early in the morning with Tink wrapped around me. It was nice to have another body beside me, showing how much they cared, but it wasn't the one I wanted to be wrapped around me. I slowly, but gently pulled myself from her embrace and sat up on the side of the bed. An episode of dizziness washed over me and caused me to stay still for a minute until I was able to gather myself enough to move.

Once the dizziness passed, I rose from the bed and headed towards the bathroom. Noticing Jasper asleep in the bed beside of Tink and myself, I didn't want to wake either of them and have to deal with the questions I knew they both would have for me. I hadn't set out last night to kill myself, but I did want to numb the pain in my chest. I had never done anything drug related like that in my entire life. I had taken the occasional toke and drank whenever it was socially acceptable, but for the most part I had been responsible about those things. I never liked the high I would experience while smoking and drinking, and it would always leave me sick feeling, like my world was spinning. It wasn't something I had liked to do.

In the bathroom, I took my shower, but as I stood and thought about the things that happened last night, I knew I didn't want to stay here, but did I want to go with Jasper and Tink? They would be leaving in a couple of hours for LA. I didn't want to go back to LA really, not unless Edward was there. But with everything that had happened, I didn't want to go to LA if there was some chance he would eventually be there with the others. In that moment, I made a decision I never thought I would.

Climbing out of the shower, I quickly gathered everything I needed and walked into the room. Both Jasper and Tink were still asleep. So I reached into Tink's purse and pulled out the money she was planning on using for Christmas. I felt bad about doing it, but I needed out. I knew she would understand. I pulled a sheet of paper from the notepad on the table in the room and quickly wrote her a note.

Alice,

I'm sorry … for everything. Just know that I couldn't stay where I was no longer welcome. I know that I could have flown back to LA with you guys, but I needed time to find myself before I decided my next move. So, it was best for me to leave before everyone found out what happened.

I never set out to hurt myself last night because of the situation, but I needed to feel the numbness I knew the pills could bring. I feel like everything has been ripped out of chest. Don't tell him what happened.Let him think I moved on with another band or something. Hell, tell him I already headed toward the airport. I don't care, but I don't want him to think it hurts as bad as it does.

I don't know where I am going or when I will be able to send the money I took from you, but I will. Tell Rose bye for me … I don't want to stick around and run a risk of seeing him with her again.

Thank you for being my friend and for being there when I needed you. Don't worry, I will be fine … I will always find my way.

I love you,

Bella

I grabbed the notepad and wrote a note to Edward, pouring my heart out in my words. A small part of me wanted … hoped he felt the hurt I felt inside of me. I knew it was wrong, but I needed to do it. I needed to tell him the things I couldn't and have my closure on this chapter in my life. Once I walked out the doors of the hotel, I would never go back. I would never allow myself to fall in love with someone to only have it ripped apart when they didn't feel the same.

Folding Edward's letter, I left it underneath Tink's and let her know to make sure he got it. I wasn't about to try to find him to give it to him. Maybe something about writing the letter was to feel like I had everything off my chest really. It wasn't so much about whether or not he really got it. Tink would either make sure or throw it in the trash and I couldn't be bothered by which one she did after I was gone.

Pushing my things on my shoulder, I headed out the door and out of Edward Cullen's life.

~AASS~

It took a couple of days to finally get myself back on the west coast, but I did what needed to be done. Once the bus pulled into the station at the Seattle Bus Depot, I quickly inquired about how much longer it would take to get to Forks and if there was a bus that would be able to take me to the town. The lady at the ticket counter said it would be another two hours by car, but no bus would be heading in that direction. She pointed to a map located in the information center and said that might help me navigate my way around.

I stood for a little while in the Depot looking over the map and wondering how in the world I was going to make it. Spotting the pay phone at the station, I walked over pulling change out of my pocket and searching through the phone book for a number to the Forks Police Department. Maybe I could reach my father there and have him come to pick me up from the station, but if I couldn't reach him, I wouldn't have other options available to me other than to walk the miles to Forks.

Locating the number, I shoved my change into the payphone and listened as the phone rang.

"Fork's Police Department, this is Sue. How can I direct your call?" the voice asked.

"Sue, this is Isabella Swan … Charlie's daughter. Um … I was wondering if he is in."

"Sorry, dear he was called out about ten minutes ago, but I can give him the message you called when he gets back," she said as the phones rang in the background.

"Do you know when you will be able to give him the message?" I asked, rubbing my hands across my face. Things didn't seem to working out in my favor at the moment.

"I can radio him, but he's in the middle of a crisis over at the diner. It seems that Waylon doesn't want to pay for his dinner again, and Gladys isn't allowing him to leave," she sighed.

"Don't bother him; just let him know I will be in town … there's no number he can call be back at, but just let him know."

"Will do," she said before hanging up the other end.

Hanging up the phone, I walked out of the bus depot, determined to get the Forks. If I saw another pay phone along my way, I planned on calling the station again, if it became too much for me. I knew the next miles were going to be the hardest for me, but it was what needed to be done.

Walking through the streets of Seattle, I was about a mile from the airport when a black Mercedes pulled alongside. I couldn't see inside the car because of the dark tinted windows. I continued to walk, not knowing who or what was inside the car.

"Miss," the male voice called from behind me. I didn't turn around and picked up my pace, scared half to death.

"Please Miss, I'm a doctor at the hospital here in Seattle, and I can't in good conscience allow a young woman like you to walk these roads alone."

Stopping in my tracks, I turned around and gazed at the man. He looked older and had apparently stepped out of his vehicle, but had left the door open to follow me. He was still a couple of feet away, but I could clearly make out his white lab coat. He was tall like Edward with blue eyes and blonde hair. He didn't look to be a serial killer, but I still wasn't for sure.

"If you don't want to ride with me, I will gladly call a taxi or something for you to get you wherever you're going," he said, running his hands through his unruly mess of hair. Something else Edward had in common with this stranger, or I was comparing every person who crossed my path to Edward. I sighed to myself. I needed to not think of him because he sure wasn't thinking about me, that much was obvious.

"I'm going to Forks. My father is the police chief there, and if something happens to me, he will be looking," I said sternly. This stranger didn't know that I was lying. My father probably thought I was still in California with my mother and wouldn't even know if something happened to me, but I wasn't about to give this information away.

"Charles Swan," he asked, looking me up and down.

"That would be him," I replied, hoping that he didn't know the relationship I had with my father was basically nonexistent.

"Your father's a good man. I've known him for years. I'm Carlisle Cullen and before you ask … no, I am not related to Edward Cullen of The Midnight Riders."

I shrugged, not really caring if he was or wasn't related to Edward, but having the same last name, I'm sure people asked all the time. I would have potentially wondered, but it was nothing uncommon to find people with the same last names that were not related. I stood there for a minute, and if he knew my father, maybe he was an upstanding citizen. I walked over to his car. Quickly, he walked around and opened the passenger side door, allowing me to climb in his car. I prayed what I was doing wasn't a mistake.

He walked around the front of the car after shutting my door. I quickly pulled the seatbelt around my body as he climbed into the driver's and pulling out on to the highway.

"So, you're heading to Forks?" he inquired as he drove down the road.

"Yes, are you sure you want to take me? Isn't Forks like two hours from here? At least that is what the woman at the station said," I muttered.

"It's about two hours, but I don't mind. Like I said when I stopped … I can't in good conscience allow a young woman to walk the roads; it's just not safe for you. Not to mention that it's going to take you much longer than two hours to make it to Forks. Trust me, this is the better option."

"Thanks," I whispered. I turned towards the window, pulling my body close to the door just in case I needed to make a quick exit from the car. It wasn't my intentions of jumping out of a moving car, but if he made the first move on me, I knew I wouldn't hesitate.

~AASS~

The ride with Dr. Cullen wasn't that hard. He was quiet the majority of the ride and other than the fact that some of the ways he would look at me or smile would remind me of Edward, I never dared to ask if he really was related to him. It wasn't any of my business anyway.

I climbed from the car when Dr. Cullen pulled in at the Forks Police Station. I don't know how long it would have taken me if he hadn't seen me.

"Thanks for the ride, Dr. Cullen," I said, leaning in the door.

"You're welcome," he said as I closed the door to his car.

Walking up the small stairs of the Police Department, I prayed that Charlie wouldn't be mad that I was here. I crossed my fingers and prayed that everything would work out for the best.

I stopped at the desk when I first entered, noticing a Native American woman sitting behind the desk, typing on the computer in front of her.

"Excuse me," I said, trying to get her attention.

"Is Charlie in?" I asked as she looked up from her computer and gasped.

"Isabella," she said, holding her hands to her mouth.

"Oh my god, Isabella." She jumped from her chair and ran around from behind the desk pulling me into her arms.

"You look so much like Charlie," she cooed as she hugged the ever loving crap out of me. It was a little nerve racking, having this strange woman pulling me into her arms. I lightly patted her back, hoping she would eventually let go.

"Oh, Isabella, you just missed your father," she said pulling away from her embrace, but had pulled my hands into hers.

"If you could just tell me which way to go, I don't mind walking," I said, hoping to get away from this situation.

"No way, let me call Seth … he would gladly give you a ride to your father's house." She walked behind the desk, quickly picking up the phone, and speaking to someone, who I assumed was Seth about giving me a ride to the Chief's house.

Sue finally introduced herself as Charlie's girlfriend and Seth was a deputy on the police squad, who was her son. I thanked her for everything and walked out to wait on the stairs of the police station for Seth's arrival. There wasn't anything wrong with Sue … she really seemed nice. I was still a little worried about whether or not Charlie would be as happy as Sue was to see me.

The deputy wheeled up, stepping out of his car, and motioned me over to the passenger side of his cruiser. I climbed in, just happy that he wasn't placing me in the back seat. I hadn't ever been arrested before in my life, but I had heard the stories about how uncomfortable the back seats in these cruisers are if you were in trouble. I didn't think Charlie would be all that happy to see me to begin with and sitting in the back seat could have potentially made it worse for me. The deputy walked around the car after shutting my door, climbed behind the wheel, and pulled from the police station.

"So, you're Charlie's daughter," he said, looking out of the corner of his eye.

"Yes," I said.

"He's going to be surprised you're here. He wasn't exactly expecting you," he said, looking over at me now, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I wasn't planning on coming for an official visit. Otherwise, I would have called first … let's just say things aren't working with my mother," I huffed. Seth looked only a couple of years older than me really, and I wasn't exactly enjoying his line of questioning at the moment.

"The woman at the station is my mother … she's been dating Charlie for years now." I assumed as much since she introduced herself as his girfriend when she had greeted me at the station.

"They don't live together … but he has spoken to her about your situation in California and was often torn about having you here. I pray he was right about you," he said, looking away from the road once more before turning into a small forest covered subdivision.

"I'm nothing like my mother," I muttered. I don't know what happened when the two split, and I really didn't want to rehash some of the horrible things Renee had ever said about Charlie. When I would be allowed to speak to him on the phone, things usually seemed fine, but I was all too aware of the true nature of my mother.

"Let's hope you're not," he said before pulling into one of the driveways. The house was relatively small, white in color. You could see the police cruiser in the driveway and a small light glowing from one of the windows in the small house.

I didn't say anything else to Seth. It wasn't like he was entirely unfriendly, but he wasn't exactly like his mother either in the way she had welcomed me in the office. Seth climbed from the car and walked over to my side, opening the door for me once again. I didn't complain or argue, not wanting to be like my mom, that everything he had done to put me in the car was unnecessary. Hell, I wasn't aware if I would have been able to enter the vehicle without his help at this point.

As I climbed out, Seth grabbed my hand, stopping me from walking up onto the porch.

"I'm not trying to be mean, Isabella. I just don't want anyone here hurt because of your presence. If you think you are going to come in and ruin everything or poison everything you touch … you shouldn't even walk onto that porch. Just say the word and I will personally put you on the first bus back to California."

"I'm not my mother," I sneered, pulling my hand from his. I stepped around him and headed toward the porch. I stepped up on the first step when the door opened and Charlie stood in the door way. He looked torn, saddened, and worried. A part of me could understand his apprehension. I was a totally stranger and a part of Renee, the woman who had apparently made his life a living hell with the way Seth was warning me already.

"Isabella," he whispered.

"Charlie," I replied. Charlie nodded his head and stepped to the side so I could enter his house. He waved Seth off as I stepped into his living room.

"Sue said you were coming … I didn't believe her at first," he said, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

"I hope I'm not intruding or anything," I said. It wasn't my intentions to make waves for Charlie or ruin any potentially relationships. I didn't have anywhere else to turn where I felted truly wanted or safe even.

Charlie offered me something to drink and asked if I would explain why I was on his doorstep in the middle of the night. I didn't sit as he went to get me a glass of water, but I did see all my pictures out on the mantle from my years in school. I made sure to send him a picture every year no matter what because I had always felt like he needed some evidence of what he was technically paying for. Renee would bitch that I shouldn't even made sure to buy the pictures, but I would so he would have something.

"You've become a beautiful young woman over the years," Charlie mused from the doorway of the living room.

"I had to argue with Renee just to make sure you received a picture. I always wanted you to know where your money was going and what I looked like."

"I appreciate it, and I'm so sorry that Renee has treated you the way she did," he said, looking down at the floor.

"I survived," I said, still looking around his house and moving to look at pictures of Charlie and Sue. There were pictures of what looked to be my grandparents and Charlie. There were also a couple of pictures of Seth and another little girl that I didn't know.

"How long are you going to be here?" Charlie asked, stepping over to me and handing me my water.

"Depends on how long you would be willing to keep me," I said, looking into the same chocolate brown eyes I saw in the mirror every morning.

"Does your mother know where you are?" he asked.

"No," I whispered. I hadn't given Renee much of an explanation when I left, and I had taken the remaining money. I was actually shocked she hadn't already called Charlie. I had been gone for at least two months, but she would have gotten another payment and not even batted an eyelash as long as the money was coming in and she could have her liquor.

"Did you run away?"

"Something like that," I said, looking up into his eyes, hoping he could see that I couldn't go back … that he was my last hope. My last chance at putting my life together so I could move forward. I wasn't ever going to meet my potential in California with Renee, and Edward was just a means of getting out from under Phil and her control. However, now I didn't have a choice … it was Charlie or a card board box on Highway 101.

"Please tell me … he didn't hurt you? Did he?" he asked, begging me not to tell him his worst fear about my mother's boyfriend, I knew. I could see it in his eyes.

"No, but it was getting worse," I whispered, looking down at the floor. At this moment, it wasn't much different than the time Edward asked if Phil had ever touched me. I could see the fire in Charlie's eyes and knew that if I would have breathed a word about anything that he would surely make a trip to Cali to personally whip Phil's ass. So, I was thankful once again that I had left before it had gotten to that point. However, now I had to worry about what Charlie might be thinking about the things that had happened while I was with Edward. I prayed he would never ask about where I had been for the past two months and who I was with. I don't think Charlie would have been all that happy with Renee or me with that one either, but maybe he would understand.

"I don't have much …" Charlie said, looking around his house "… I have two bedrooms here. One was supposed to be yours when you were a child, and your mother and I were still married. I've never changed the room, and it doesn't have a bed for you, but I could get Sue to get you something more stable and reliable as long as you are planning to stay awhile."

"I can sleep on the couch until we get everything figured out," I said.

"You're more than welcome here, but I will have to contact your mother." I nodded. I suspected he would.

"Go ahead, get settled on the couch, and we will discuss this in more detail in the morning," he said, motioning toward his couch.

Charlie gave me a quick tour of the house and allowed me to place the small bag I had in the room that still housed a crib for an infant. He wasn't lying about not moving anything in the room. It looked like it had never been touched.

"If you would have called and let me know you were coming, I would have gotten everything together so you would have something more appropriate to sleep on," he said, rubbing his forehead again.

"I'm sorry … I should have called or something, but … I had nowhere else to turn," I said, lowering my head once again to the floor. I felt like shit for doing this to him.

"Look at me," he demanded.

"I will help, and I told you over the phone if you ever needed me to let me know. I would do anything as long as you allowed me into your world and let me know how I could help. Never doubt that … I would never leave you out in the cold."

"I know," I said; that was the reason I was here. He had always been sure to make me feel like I was welcome, even if my mother tried to underhand everything he ever said and always made it sound like he never wanted me. I always had hope he would, but sometimes her words would cut through and make everything I did always that much harder because of the doubt she had given me about him.

After the quick tour, I changed in the bathroom and hurried back down to the couch, where Charlie had laid out blankets and pillows for me to use. I thanked him and crawled onto the couch. Once the lights were off and Charlie was gone to his room, I lay back staring at the ceiling for hours thinking about Edward and the band. Had Alice given him the letter? Did he hear the news about my accident? Was he even remotely worried about me at the moment? Did he wonder where I had gone? Did you even truly care?

Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.

~AASS~

The last three months with Charlie were hard at times. Sue had helped me to get the bedroom upstairs better accommodated for a young adult instead of an infant. Charlie worked a lot to make ends meet around the house. I tried to help as much as I could, but he wouldn't let me take the same responsibilities that I had with my mother, which in turn forced me to spend the majority of my time in the house alone.

Christmas came and went without to much fan fare. Sue and her kids came to the house, and Charlie bought me a couple of things that I needed, but I couldn't return the favor, having spent the majority of the money I had taken from Renee and Alice while living on the road.

Charlie never really hovered or asked me to many questions about where I had been or how I had come to show up on his doorstep in the middle of the school year or the middle of the night. In some ways, I thought that was a blessing because I was still a little worried he would have some issues with the things I had done, but for the most part, he didn't seem to really care.

After Christmas, Charlie asked if I planned on staying in Forks beyond the New Year. When I told him there wasn't any other place for me to go, it wasn't long before he enrolled me at Forks High School to finish out the remainder of my senior year. I didn't have to much more to do, and with the fact that California was so ahead school wise, I was able to skate by, having learned the majority of the lessons there.

The only problem with going to school and trying to blend in was that I was constantly alone here. It only got worse when the people around town would gossip about my mother and my presence. It seemed everyone thought I would turn out just like her and avoided me at all costs. I couldn't really blame them in a way. I knew some of the stories running around town. However, I didn't even care about anyone here. It wasn't like they mattered in the grand scheme of things. There were only a handful of people I truly cared about and they were miles away with someone other than me.

~AASS~

February turned out to be the best and worse month of my entire life. The worst part was when I caught the flu and couldn't quite shake the illness that invaded my body. I felt worse than when I had taken all those Quaaludes trying to drown out my life. I began to wonder if something was seriously wrong with me when it finally passed, but I still felt like someone had run over me with a Mack Truck.

I finally gave into Charlie and Sue's demands to see the doctor because I still wasn't feeling any better, and I had to know if something was wrong, especially after the incident in New York.

As I walked past the window of the little record store on the corner, I saw his face. The face that I hated to miss and the face that I longing to see. He must have taken the solo record deal. The billiard in front of the story advertised the coming out date of his solo album. I remembered the date on the board and headed straight to the doctor's office.

~AASS~

After my doctor's appointment, I slowly made my way back to the police station. Sue was sitting behind the desk when I walked in.

"How was your visit?" she asked, looking up from her computer. I shook my head back and forth, still trying to process the information the doctor had given me during my visit.

"Um, is Charlie here?" I asked. I wasn't going to tell Sue without first informing my dad. Hell, I didn't know how he was going to process what was going on with me or what he would even do.

"Oh, Isabella," Sue said, running around the desk as the tears poured from my eyes. I didn't even realize I was even crying, but Sue noticed.

"I don't know what to do," I said, finally processing the news.

"What will Charlie want me to do? I can't, Sue … I can't," I muttered.

"Shh … sweet girl, it happens. Your father will understand, and he will help, but I will help you talk to him if you want," she said, pulling back to wipe the tears from underneath my eyes.

I nodded because I didn't know how I was going to break the news to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All right … so this story has deviated from the original Almost Famous format, remember in the movie they do not have a HEA … which I said I would change and I plan on doing that, but you have to be patient. Plus, I am trailing it into the song Shooting Star which means that things are going to get really rough, but hang on. So, remember these things as we move along here. Remember, that this story will continue into 'One Hit Wonder' which will be the sequel. What do you think happened to Bella? Do you think Charlie will be accepting? As always don't forget to show some love and if this story ever disappears, you can find me on fictionpad.


	15. Outtake # 3: Papa Don't Preach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Papa Don't Preach- Madonna
> 
> We learn about what Charlie knows about his daughter while she was living with Renee. We will learn more about Renee's character and how she truly is in this chapter. Then, Charlie will learn the news from Isabella and Sue, and how he will handle the news of her condition.

Outtake #3

This outtake takes place between 12 and 13

Papa Don't Preach

Charlie's POV

When Sue called me earlier in the day to tell me that Isabella was in the area, I was completely stunned. I never expected her to show up on my doorstep, and when Sue called me again later in the night, after I was off from work, telling me that Seth was bring my daughter home finally, I prayed she was all right.

The funny thing about Bella showing up on my doorstep was that I had spoken to Renee about a month ago, hoping to wish Bella a Happy Thanksgiving, but she never mentioned Bella wanting to come to Forks. If I had known, I would have gladly paid for her to come. Hell, I would have driven to Seattle to pick her up. However, no one mentioned anything about her coming, which made me wonder if something more wasn't going on in her life.

Renee and I didn't have much of a relationship anymore and getting information about Bella from Renee had become increasingly worse over the years. When I asked about Bella's whereabouts, Renee acted like she was having dinner with one of her friends. Once I learned Bella wasn't home, I quickly ended my call, not wanting to fight with Renee once again about money.

That was the thing with Renee; life was about what she could get out of someone more than making her way in the world. Renee was getting plenty enough to take care of Bella, and if there was anything Bella needed, I would send it without a moment's hesitation.

However, Renee was always the victim, and someone would always feel sorry for her and come to her rescue. I try not to think much about what my life was like with Renee, and I tried my best to never imagine the things that Bella could have been exposed to for so long while with her mother.

This was my reason for concern when Sue said she had called saying she was in Seattle. It wasn't that I didn't love Bella; God knows I did, but it was the fear that she was only here to start more trouble. I didn't know Bella well, and with her being raised by Renee, I couldn't help but wonder if some of those traits had rubbed off on her.

When Renee had left all those years ago, it was a breath of fresh air around this town, freeing us of the one person who didn't belong. In the six months that Renee lived here in Forks, she turned the whole town on it's damn head and caused a path of destruction miles wide. Hell, I wouldn't have been surprised if the whole town hadn't chipped in for her ticket out of the town.

The problem with Renee … she was sneaky, manipulative, conniving, and always the fucking victim. Everyone in town was always out to get her and even if they weren't at the moment … once she slept with their husband's, they would have been. Hell, if it wasn't for the fact she was already pregnant with Bella before we moved into town after my parent's deaths, I would have wondered if Bella was even my child. Don't get me wrong, there were still times, I wondered. When Bella started looking more and more like my mother that was the moment, I truly believed.

Renee had sucked me in, in the beginning. I thought she was some pretty girl from Phoenix, who was down on her luck and quickly helped her out. Naively thinking we could have something more. I can't say that I never thought Renee was beautiful because I would be lying about it, but she had me and she used that beauty and her ways to get everything she wanted out of me.

I was only twenty when we met. I had just graduated from community college and was looking at getting a job at the Port Angeles Police Department when Renee rolled up on my doorstep. She looked to have been physically abused, and I was concerned as I passed her on the side of the road. I whipped my truck around and stopped to see if there was something I could do or someone I could call to help the young woman.

When she started crying and acted hostile towards me, I knew something terrible had happened to her. She finally allowed me to rush her straight to the hospital to be checked. I waited for hours to hear the word of how she was doing.

Everything checked out fine, and the story she had told the doctors and the police officers during her stay had them with no leads as to who had hurt her in the first place. I was young and wet behind the ears, thinking I could locate the asshole that had been abusive to her and listened to her story.

Renee's long time boyfriend had physically, sexually, and mentally neglected her and dragged her to Seattle. When he was through with her, he tossed her out on the streets to live, which at the time had been about two days ago, according to her. Renee cried about being away from her parent's in Phoenix and how she needed to get in touch with them. I played the nice guy … always the good guy and helped to locate her parents and put her in touch with them.

Renee was grateful and before long a relationship started. Within months, Renee said she was pregnant with Bella. I thought everything was going great. Renee and I were married three months after meeting that day on the side of the road. Life was great until the death of my parents and the move to Forks. That's when all hell broke loose and Renee was never the woman I had thought she was.

Within a matter of two months, Renee had gone from being the broken woman on the side of the road to the devil himself; it was amazing the lengths she would go to. We were married for a year, and then one day she packed up Bella and I let her go. I wanted to fight her. I wanted Bella to stay with me, but Renee made sure I could never have her. I watched Renee hit herself and tear her body apart, while I stood holding Bella.

"See what I can do, Charlie," she screamed with tears running down her face as I had walked in on her packing Bella's things.

"You did this to me," she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"I haven't even touched you," I screamed back. How could she do those things and claim I was the one who had done that to her?

"Yes, and if you don't let me leave, I will go to the station and file a report," she sneered.

"You wouldn't," I said, not believing that this was the person I married.

"I will," she said, grabbing Bella from my arms and gathering her things.

"I will ruin you if you challenge me and try to take my daughter from me. And, trust me Charlie, your badge won't save you," she sneered and walked down hall toward the front door.

A couple of months down the road, I got a petition for child support. I gladly paid what the judge wanted and left Renee and Bella alone. It was a sad situation I found myself in, but I allowed it to happen, thinking it was for the best. I had grown up in this town all my life and didn't want my family's name dragged through the mud and destroyed to appease someone like Renee. So, I gave in, allowing her to leave with Bella, and stopped fighting her. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but hoped and prayed Renee would clean up her act and take care of Bella.

It took me a long time to get over the things that Renee had done to me during our marriage. She never allowed me to bond with my child as I should and that was some of my hesitancy about Bella. I didn't know her like I should. I tried what few times Renee would allow her to come to Forks and visit with me, but the time was so short, and it was hard to grow the bond that would solidify us as father and daughter.

~AASS~

The way Bella looked when she showed up here didn't look like things had been all that great for her. She looked sick and run down, like she had been running the roads for the past few months, but I never asked because I suspected that she had run away from Renee, and I couldn't bear the thought of her being on the road by herself from California. I did however wish she would have called, but there wasn't anything I could do about it now.

There was a part of me that worried she would take off again, and I would never be able to find her. So I didn't ask all the questions I wanted answers to. I knew that living with Renee would be hard on her, but I was helpless to stop it.

The biggest fear I had about Bella showing up here was if something else had happened to her. A part of me wanted to know, but there were other parts of me that didn't. I had known that Renee had remarried some fellow who was supposed to be a major league baseball player, but as it turned out, he was nothing more than a minor league chump. He didn't even last that long, and before long, he wasn't anything more than a loser just like Renee.

I never wanted to learn if any of the men who had been with Renee had touched my daughter. I had stopped fighting once before, but I wouldn't hesitate to kill someone if they touched her inappropriately.

The first night Bella stayed at my house, I listened to her cry. It was heartbreaking not to know what to do to help her. I was lost.

~AASS~

The last three months with Bella were a mixture of tense and great. Bella wasn't anything like Renee. In fact, she was more me and my mother, which warmed my heart.

Sue helped her get her things together for her old room upstairs, which was a blessing. I didn't know where to begin when it came to teenage girls, and Sue had Leah, so she handled everything like a champ.

I hated having to work so much while she was here, but I couldn't help it. It seemed Christmas was the season that everyone decided to get out of hand. Seth and I were the only one's here in Forks to keep the peace between La Push and the township, and with holidays, the kids tended to get a little crazy.

Bella did great at the house by herself though. She cleaned and helped every chance she got. She tried to help pay the bills and take care of me, but I wouldn't allow her to. She was still young, and even though I figured she had done those things for Renee, I wasn't about to let her do them for me.

Christmas came and I tried to get Bella a few things I thought she needed; a nice winter coat because here in Forks, it gets cold. Sue and her kids came for dinner, and Sue bought Bella a few outfits that would be better suited for the weather here. Bella appeared to be having an okay time, but she still seemed a little down about things, and I wondered if she was missing her mother or her time in California.

When the first of the year rolled around, Bella planned on staying in the area. I enrolled her at Forks High to finish out her education. Bella's senior year would go by fairly easy for her because she was so smart, but making friends would be a bigger issue with the damage Renee had done years ago.

~AASS~

Bella came down with the flu in February. I had noticed that ever since the middle of January, she hadn't been wearing her winter coat. I never had a chance to ask her why, and when she became sick, I figured it was because of her being out in the weather without the proper clothes. Sue and I begged Bella to see a doctor, fearing she would come down with pneumonia if she didn't get any better.

Bella finally agreed to go and see Dr. Banner. I had stopped by the office when I found Sue wrapped around Bella.

"What did the doctor say?" I asked, walking up toward the desk where the two of them were sitting.

"Charlie, can we talk to you in your office?" Sue asked, looking down at Bella, who had tears running down her face. I nodded and led the way back to my office. I couldn't help the worry that started in my brain. Was there something terrible wrong with my daughter? Was she dying? Once I was seated behind my desk, Sue and Bella sat across from me.

"Charlie, Bella has something she needs to tell you. I want you to keep an open mind and know that there is nothing wrong," Sue said. She reached over and grabbed Bella's hand and nodded at her to tell me.

Bella looked at the floor and barely uttered these words … "I'm pregnant."

I choked on the salvia that was in my mouth, "What?" I asked, wanting to make sure I had heard her correctly.

"Bella is pregnant, Charlie … she's about four months, according to Dr. Banner," Sue said, still stroking Bella's hand.

I lowered my head to my desk, trying to think of some way to get Bella out of this situation. I would be damned if I would make my daughter carry the child of that slime Renee calls a husband. The only thing that seemed plausible was to make her have an abortion.

"Bella, would you step out front to my desk for a moment while I speak to your father," Sue said. I looked up at her and watched as her eyes narrowed in my direction.

Bella quickly got up from where she was sitting and walked out the door. Sue closed the door behind her and leveled her eyes in my direction.

"Stop," she sneered at me. I hadn't done anything at the moment.

"I know you, Charlie … I know the hell Renee put you through and let me tell you one thing … that girl out there is nothing like Renee."

"I haven't said anything, but there has to be a way for her to get rid of it. Sue, we don't even know who it belongs to. What if … what if..." I couldn't even finish verbalizing my thoughts. Anger welled up inside of me. I stood from my desk and allowed the chair I was sitting in to slam against the wall.

"I have half a mind to fly out to California and kill that son of a bitch," I seethed as my hand rubbed the cold steel that rested on my side.

"Calm down, Charlie," Sue said, coming behind me and rubbing my shoulders, trying to relive the tension that had settled into my shoulders.

"It's nothing like that, Charlie … I promise. She talked to me a little, and I was able to get it out of her that it wasn't Phil's. It's some boy she meet while living with Renee. It was an accident. They had tried to be careful, but it happened."

"More of a reason to get rid of it, my God, Sue; she's just a baby herself."

"Charlie … enough. She doesn't want to get rid of it. That's why she's crying because she wants the child and doesn't know how you will take it. Nor, does she know how she is going to take care of a child. Dr. Banner offered her a way out, but she doesn't believe in doing that."

"Isabella is a very smart and responsible kid, Charlie. Hell, she more responsible that Leah was at her age. You don't know everything about Leah … two years ago she had an abortion. Charlie, I wouldn't wish what happened to her on my worst enemy," Sue sobbed and stepped away from me. I turned around to see her with her head in her hands, crying.

"Leah found herself pregnant two years ago. Harry and I never told anyone. It was some punk from Port Angeles. Harry was livid … made her get an abortion. I took her to a medicine woman in the neighboring tribe. Harry didn't want our people knowing that our daughter, the chief's daughter, had gotten herself mixed up with an outsider. It would have been harder on him. I did what I thought was best. However, if I knew now what I didn't know then … well let's just say I wouldn't have done it. Charlie … that woman," she sobbed.

"She … she tore Leah's insides up to the point that she can't have children; those abortions are not safe. Harry … well, Harry's guilt ate at him until the day he died. I've had a hard time getting over what I did to her and at times, it causes us strain, but I won't ever suggest that someone have one."

Sue cried for a little longer, and I never would want to hurt Bella. I wouldn't want to be responsible for having something happen to her that she would never be able to be a mother.

Sue wiped her eyes and pulled herself together.

"Please Charlie … don't force her and don't be too hard on her. Guide her … help her. Please don't make the same mistake that Harry and I did with Leah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All right … so this story has deviated from the original Almost Famous format … which I said I would change here and there to make it more my own and trailing it into the song Shooting Star. So, remember these things as we move along here. Bella's pregnant and has wondered onto Charlie's doorstep. As always, don't forget to show some love!


	16. Gypsy Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Gypsy Woman by Carlos Santana
> 
> The song listed in this story 'Gypsy Woman' is the property of Carlos Santana … I just wanted Edward to sing it like it was his. No infringements intended … I own nothing, not even the lyrics.
> 
>  
> 
> All hell is about to break loose for Edward. Aro had signed him into a solo career that is to start the moment he touches down in LA. However, the band had to hold it together for the two shows in Canada and the flight back to LA. What do you think will happen during this chapter? Just a little hint … the truth will set you free.

Chapter 13

Gypsy Woman

EPOV

The flight from New York to Montreal was the worse flight known to man. No one spoke the entire time, and Garrett kept giving me the evil eye. Of course, I couldn't help the shitty way I felt inside. I was having withdrawals from not having anything in my system, which I was planning on rectifying once I located the first person holding.

I was still pissed that Izzy had almost killed herself and that she wasn't here with me. Hell, I was pissed that I had instructed Jasper not to let me know where she was when they finally located her.

Instead I had Kate, who was all over my jock the entire flight. If only I would have taken the bull by the horns and gotten a divorce from Kate, she wouldn't be sitting beside me on this God awful flight wanting to have sex in the bathroom. Every couple a minutes, she whispers how much she loves me and wants me. It was sickening, maddening, and downright infuriating the way things had played out over the course of a couple of days. And the only person I could blame was my damn self.

Aro and Caius railroaded me into a solo career I didn't want, but had to for the band, that now hates my fucking guts. We still have to perform two more shows before we all could either blow up at one another or split ways forever. Actually, at the moment, I would be happy if we all came to blows so I could get the majority of the anger out of my system. Punching something, anything, sounded like what I needed … anything to feel something besides the pain that had resided in my chest.

When the plane touched down in Montreal, I ran from the others. I needed a fix because there was no way I was going to make it through two shows totally clean. Hell, I figured that just a little bump would get me through the hours it would take to complete the finally leg of the first part of the tour.

Once I found the man I was looking for and got enough in my system to survive, the next twenty-four hours passed by in a blur. I can vaguely remember my mother and father being at the concerts in Montreal. Hell, I didn't even notice when we boarded the flight for LA that it was finally over, or starting depending on how you looked at this life of mine.

The plane we had flown on from New York was much nicer than the tin can they currently strapped us with to fly home, but I didn't mind at all. I picked the first seat on the plane and didn't pay much attention to who was surrounding me. I leaned my head back on the head rest and closed my eyes. Hands rubbed up my tights causing me to open my eyes; I turned my head slightly to see Kate sitting beside me. When a throat cleared, I looked up into the faces of both Jake and Garrett sitting in front of us. I ignored all three of them, not wanting to get something started, but I knew it was coming; you could feel the tension in the plane.

Once everyone was on board, the plane taxied down the run away and the pilot announced that we would be in LA in roughly thirty minutes, if all went according to plan. I leaned my head back against the head rest again and closed my eyes, with Kate's hand still stroking my thigh. I was about a sleep when the plane started to shake.

"We are experiencing some turbulence. Please place your seat belts back on," the pilot announced, as the plane shook and jerked through the air. I quickly pulled my belt onto my body and gripped the arms of the chair holding on.

If the shaking of the plane wasn't bad enough, overhearing the pilot talking about how the left engine lost power, and thinking we were going to crash sent the band into a tail spin. I leaned up and tried to tuck my head between my legs. When Mike shouted, "I'm gay … I've been gay for as long as I can remember, and I have to tell you before something happens to us." We all stared wide eyed at Mike after his confession. That explained a lot about why he was never with any of the groupies, but his confession and the turbulence we were experiencing made me wish I had told Izzy that I loved her.

"I've been sleeping with Kate," Garrett hollered, as the plane jerked and shook.

"What?" I asked, looking between him and Kate.

"It was only once, and it was an accident," Kate said, looking deep into my eyes. I didn't really care.

"We've been together more than once, Kate and you know it. If we are going to die on this plane, I won't go without telling Edward about us; nor will I die without telling you how much I love you," Garrett confessed from the seat across from us.

I busted out laughing at this new revelation. I knew something was off about Kate and Garrett, but had never guessed they had been fucking one another for a long time. Hell, ninety-five percent of the time they both acted like they hated one another.

"I've been with Kate since the moment you two were married. The night of your wedding, Kate and I snuck off before you said your vows. I can't die with something like that on my chest," Garrett said, as I sat speechless over his latest revelations.

"I'm pregnant," Kate screamed, as the plane trembled. I looked at her as if she had sprouted two heads all of a sudden. I tried to remember the last time I had been with Kate and tried to figure if there was a chance that the child she was carrying was mine.

The plane evened out and things seemed to be getting back on track when the pilot announced that everything was fine and that we would be landing in four minutes.

"Who's baby is it, Kate?" Garrett demanded. Kate shook her head crying and tried to stroke my thigh once again. I politely removed it with a sneer and asked her.

"Garrett's," she barely whispered, but I heard it. There would be nothing stopping me from getting a divorce now, and nothing stopping me from finding Izzy. I had to make everything right.

Once the plane landed, I tried to escape the clutches of Kate, but she wouldn't let go of me.

"Stay with me, Edward … we can make this work, and I'm not even sure if the baby is Garrett's or not," she said through her tears, holding onto my elbow.

"No," I said, pulling my arm from her grasps.

"Like you never cheated on me," she screamed. I turned and looked her right in the eye, not planning backing down.

"I may have cheated on you after we were married, and I know that is wrong. However, if I had known about Garrett, I wouldn't have married you. I never loved you really; I only thought I was in love with you. I figured that out the first time you wouldn't back me and stand behind me as an artist. I never pretended to be someone I wasn't … I never held you back from your dreams. Frankly, the only reason you are hanging on so tightly now is because of the solo career thing. Isn't it? Garrett never had the money or the family to support you like I did. So, you married me with dollar signs in your eyes. Just let go … you never cared about me either," I said, walking away from Kate and walking toward what I hoped was finding Izzy and finally making her mine.

After getting off the plane, I hitched a cab to Jasper and Tink's place, but no one was home. I wasn't really shocked, but left a note telling Jasper to call me at the Riot House when he got the message.

I settled into the room at the Riot House fairly quickly and started unpacking my things when a note fell to the ground. I could see my name scribbled in Izzy's messy writing. I grabbed a bottle of Jack from the night stand and reached for the letter.

Dear Edward,

I don't know when everything went wrong between us, but I do know somewhere along the road at some point, everything was right.

I wish you and the band all the luck in the world; I will forever be your biggest fan. I promise to buy every record released, and I plan on following your solo career, even though I don't believe that's what you want.

I never said anything, but I fell in love with you. However, you broke my heart like I knew you would.

Don't look for me. Our paths have been chosen for us, and we were just shooting stars in the night, destined to collide with one another for a brief time. If fate brings us back together again by mistake, maybe then things will have changed enough for us to be something more than shooting stars. But don't change anything to be with me. Ride out your dreams and see where they take you.

The only word of advice I can give is that I wish you would listen to us and get help for your problems. You were brilliant before you allowed them to rule your life.

Know that you will always have a piece of me and I, a piece of you. I love you and will think of you often.

Love, Always and Forever

Bella

I tossed the note on the bed, sipping from my bottle, deciding that if I didn't hear from Jasper in the next couple of days that I would make a trip to Izzy's mom's house to make sure she wasn't there.

~AASS~

In the middle of December, Aro wanted to start producing my solo album. I didn't get the first say in anything, and when I bitched about having no say, Aro threatened to go to Kate with information on my drug addiction, cheating, and anything else he could find out about my time on tour. I didn't want him telling her anymore than Garrett was probably already filling her head full of, but if he knows what's best for him, he had better keep his mouth shut because I could walk away from this solo deal and cause us both financial issues.

Kate signed the divorce papers without too much fan fare, and the album sales shot through the roof after the first of the year. Jasper never called or even came back to his house in LA. I had heard through the grapevine at the record company that he had gone back to Seattle to work with bands in the area again. Aro kept me busy, and when the second leg of the tour started, I couldn't get away to find out where he was or even where Izzy was. I don't know if she went home to Renee or if she was in Seattle with Jasper and Tink, and the not knowing was driving me insane.

By the middle of January, I was back on tour with AC/DC. The second leg of the tour started in Alabama and would end at the end of February in Phoenix. Around mid-February, the tour was supposed to play at the Seattle Coliseum, and I decided I would look around the local club scene for either Jasper or Izzy. I knew it was a shot in the dark, but something had to give.

~AASS~

Things were going as good as to be expected during the first half of the tour, and the closer the tour dates rolled along, the more anxious I got for the upcoming show in Seattle. I didn't go back to the yak, but pain pills and booze became my only means of stability during that period in my life. I tried to quit, but every time I tried, my body would ache and shake. Not only did the alcohol and the pain pills help the hurt, but they also allowed me to step more and more into the spotlight. I wouldn't set foot onto the stage until I had enough to ensure that I would be able to perform.

During a show in Memphis, I was so intoxicated that I fell down the stairs and found myself in the emergency room. The doctor prescribed me sleeping pills to help me rest, and pain killers to ease the pain in my back.

In Texas, I renewed my prescriptions with another doctor and even told him about my anxiety of going on stage where he prescribed me Xanax. By the time I made it to Seattle, I could barely remember the words to the songs. I was taking my pain pills for the pain, xanax to relieve the anxiety, and sleeping pills to sleep at night.

When a show would end, Sam, one the roadies on the tour, would carry me to my bus, where I would sleep off the effects of the meds before heading to another town. This was my life during the second leg of the tour, and I never found Jasper or Izzy.

We landed in LA after the tour was over. AC/DC was heading out for the Asia and European aspect of the tour, but because of the last show in Phoenix, Aro wanted me to go to rehab. I was to pull three months, getting myself clean and off all the meds while he worked on making me the headliner of my own tour. I wasn't impressed or happy with the fact he wanted me clean. Caius drove me down to Rancho Mirage, California, where I entered into their ninety day treatment program. Esme was happy that I was finally getting the help I needed. There were moments during my treatment that I did everything for Izzy. She had asked me to get help and that's what I did.

Aro did everything he said he would, and while I was in the presence of the record label, I played the reformed Edward Cullen, solo artist. However, once the tour started, it was hard to stay away from the pills that would make my life easier, but I did.

Staying clean those three years helped, and my second record went straight up to number one on the charts with my song about Izzy, 'Gypsy Woman'. It was the first number one hit I had; nothing Caius and Aro ever wanted me to sing was good enough. So, I finally bitched enough that Aro finally allowed me to write my own songs for the second album of my solo career.

My second album had to make it in order for me to continue, according to the label. When 'Gypsy Woman' hit number one, I was the highest paid performer of 1985. I was living the life, but Izzy never strayed far from my mind.

Every night before the show was over, I would dedicate 'Gypsy Woman' to the one who got away.

"From nowhere through a caravan," I sang the first lyric of the song and crowd would roar.

"Around the campfire light, a lovely woman in motion, with hair as dark as night; her eyes were like that of a cat in the dark. They hypnotize me with love" I continued. "She was a gypsy woman, she was a gypsy woman"

"She danced around and round to a guitar melody from the fire her face was all aglow. How she enchanted me? Oh, how I'd like to hold her near and kiss and forever whisper in her ear. I love you gypsy woman"

"All through the caravan she was dancing with all the men waiting for the rising sun. Everyone was having fun I hate to see the lady go knowing she'll never know.  
That I love her"

"That I love her"

"She danced around and round to a guitar melody from the fire her face  
was all aglow. How she enchanted me? Oh how I'd like to hold her near  
and kiss and forever whisper in her ear"

Once the song was done, I would walk back stage and out to my tour bus. Most nights, I didn't even try to have women in my bus. I never could get her out of my head, and there wasn't any use in trying.

It had been years, and LA didn't even feel the same anymore. I was sitting at the Riot House when I finally decided to see if Izzy was still in LA. I was looking for something from the old days. I had spent many years getting clean and many more wondering what she was doing now.

I pulled into the driveway of the house that Izzy claimed was her mother's. I walked onto the porch and knocked a couple of times before a dark haired woman opened the door.

"Can I help you?" she asked, pulling her hair behind her ears and straightening out the shirt she was wearing.

"Does Isabella live here?" I asked. I wasn't sure if the woman who answered the door was her mother or not, but I needed to know.

"No, she ran off with all my money years ago," the woman said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Sorry about that … do you know where I could find her?"

"What has she done now? Taken you for a ride too?" she asked.

"No Ma'am, she's just a friend from school," I lied.

"Well, if you see that little bitch, tell her she owes me," she said before she slammed the door in my face. What a piece of work. I thought as I walked off the porch and back to my car.

One thing's for sure, wherever Izzy was, she must have never came back to her mother's place, but then again, wouldn't that also rule out her father. I figured that at least the two would be looking for their daughter, but maybe neither one really cared what happened to her.

~AASS~

After visiting Izzy's mother and finding out that she wasn't there, I slipped back into my old ways and gave up any hopes that I would ever see her again. Then when the third record didn't sale, even the record label started to lose faith in me. Hell, I was losing faith in myself, and it didn't take long for me to spiral out of control.

I had my pills for on stage, my booze for the after parties, and the ladies to carry me through the nights. I tried every way in the world to fuck Izzy out of my system, but no one ever compared or even came close to her. I still thought about her and wanted her more than air to breathe. At night, when I wasn't with anyone … she was all I could think about, and if I drank just enough, I could smell her scent on my pillows at night.

Aro cancelled the completion of the fourth record, especially being that the third one didn't even break a thousand dollars in sales. The tours stopped when I could no longer remember the words to the songs I had written. Aro tried to get me little gigs at places like 'The Whiskey'. However, after missing shows, forgetting the words, and even fighting with the crowd, I was fired. No one wanted to work with me while I was a train wreck, and being I couldn't have the one girl I wanted more than anything in the world, I gave up.

One night after drinking myself into a ditch beside the Riot House, I watched as Jake walked by me. I hadn't seen him since the plane landed in LA all those years ago. I jumped from my seat on the bench outside the Riot House and followed him.

"Jake," I screamed from behind him on the street.

Jake turned around and looked hard at me. It wasn't until I was standing in front of him that recognition registered on his face.

"Edward," he said, still unsure.

"Yeah, man it's been ages," I slurred.

"Good God, you reek of booze," Jake said, holding his nose.

"Yeah … just spent the last twenty four in the ditch in front of the Riot House."

"Don't you have some place to live or be?" Jake asked. I shook my head. Things had gotten so bad that not even the staff at the Riot House wanted me living there, and being the fact that I had burnt every stitch of my money on pills and booze, I didn't have a way of paying for my rent.

"Come on man," Jake said, motioning me to follow him, and I went along. I talked Jake into stopping at the liquor store and buying me another fifth of Jack Daniel's for the night.

When we got to Jake's house, we talked for hours about the tour and Izzy. Sometimes, her name would come up in conversations, and it almost gutted me hearing about her. I could close my eyes and see her like it was yesterday. Her long brown hair blowing in the wind, as we drove down the road in Bertha. Those were the days I wanted back … the exact moment in my life that I was in love and happy; happy with her by my side.

I passed out at some point and woke during the night with a headache. I didn't have anything strong enough in my pockets to get rid of the ache that resided between my eyes, so I stumbled to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Lucky Jake's old man had the good kind of medicine store there, and I helped myself to a little of everything on his shelves.

I crawled back to the couch, where dreams of Izzy and the sound of her voice lulled me to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There are only three chapter and outtake before I bridge this story into it's sequel 'One Hit Wonder' … Edward has done okay, but had already pulled one stent in rehab. Years of drug addiction sometimes takes it's toll on people and some are not so lucky. In this story, Edward had perfected, or so he thinks, the art of being a closet addicted, but will his days be numbered. The next chapter we will look in on Bella before we wrap this story.


	17. Love is a Battlefield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Battlefield by Pat Bentar
> 
> Thanks for dannibags for suggesting this story for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before it's début.
> 
> Bella tells Charlie about being pregnant.Let's see how Bella handles going to school, having a baby, and how her life turns out before the end of this story.

Chapter 14

Battlefield

BPOV

Telling Charlie about what Dr. Banner said was the hardest thing to do. I didn't know if he was going to tell me to get an abortion or if he was going to kick me out. I showed up on his doorstep, with nowhere else to go, and now I'm pregnant. Sue was a blessing; she knew just how to handle both Charlie and myself.

After breaking the news to Charlie, Sue asked me to step out and sit at the front desk, while she talked to him. I don't know what she said to him or why he didn't start hollering at me, but whatever she did, I was thankful for. Sue called me back into Charlie's office.

"Charlie has something he wants to say," she whispered, as I walked by her back into the office.

"Bella …" Charlie rubbed his forehead. You could see the frustration rolling off his brow "… I don't know how to begin."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, lowering my head so I wouldn't have to look into his eyes.

"How far along are you?" Charlie asked.

"Four months. I'm due around my birthday."

"Do you plan on keeping this child? Will the father be involved? Please don't answer that last question," he sighed, worrying his forehead with his hands.

"I would like to keep the child … as for the father … he doesn't know."

"Do you plan on telling him?" Sue asked, giving my father a look that I didn't understand.

"I don't know … I really don't see the point in telling him. It's not like he cares," I sobbed just thinking about Edward and the fact that he was still married. Now that I was pregnant with his child, I didn't see how this could be a good situation for either of us. Hell, I figured I would just vanish to the forest of Forks, never to be heard from again. That was the only thing that could be the best for everyone involved.

"I don't know if I agree with you on not sharing this information with the man that did this to you. However, if you were to bring him to Forks or even allow me his information, I don't know if I could control myself from killing him at the moment."

"Charlie," Sue sighed.

"It's the truth, Sue. If I knew who did this to my baby girl, I would have his balls in a vice. Lord, help Renee if one of her sorry ass boyfriends did this to you. Sorry, Bella, but I can't help feeling like that," Charlie stated.

I cried even harder because if Charlie knew the truth and knew that I had been on the road with a band, and not only had I been on the road, but had slept with a married man, I was sure he would definitely hit the roof.

"What are you going to do about school?" Charlie asked.

"I don't have much longer to go. I honestly hadn't thought about that," I replied. I quickly calculated in my head and figured that at best I only had about three to four months left of school. If there was some way I could hide the fact that I was pregnant, no one would even know, and the less talk there would be for Charlie.

"How about this …" Sue interjected "… she doesn't have much longer to go. And with as little as Bella is, maybe she can wear big sweats or something that will hide that she is pregnant. Once she graduates, we will figure out what will be best. We still have time to figure things out."

Charlie and I agreed that we would figure out what to do then, but Charlie advised me against telling anyone about being pregnant. He didn't want the community to talk about me like they had and still did my mother.

~AASS~

Being pregnant had it's ups and downs. There were moments when things were good … great even, but there were times when I was miserable. After my initial visit with Dr. Banner, Sue suggested that all my doctor's visits should be done in Port Angeles, far away from the gossiping community of Forks. I didn't mind making the trip with her for my visits; it got me out of the small community I had grown to hate during my time with Charlie.

The kids at school weren't always very nice to me and it got to the point that Sue had Charlie pull me from Forks High and sent me to La Push. Sue still had a little bit of pull in the tribe and got the members of the tribe that ran the school to accept my transfer. The school on the reservation was a little better than the nosy gossips of Forks High. I still managed to conceal my pregnancy and not talk to anyone there.

I graduated from La Push High in June of 1982, with no one ever knowing the condition I was in. Sue and Leah helped me to buy clothes that were two sizes too big. The only trouble I ever had was a couple of girls from Forks High found it funny to call me a fat ass every time they saw me. They would act like they were something special, but I never let their words bother me.

Charlie, Sue, and I had sat down during the months after learning about my condition and devised a plan of getting me out of Forks before having my baby. Any plans I ever had of going to college were put on hold until I could get settled in with having a child. To tell you the truth, it really wasn't that important for me to go. My main concern was finding a way to take care of myself and the baby I was going to be bring into the world.

Charlie talked about retiring from the police force and moving us to Florida before it was time, but Sue didn't want to be far away from her family. So, Charlie gave up that idea. Leah and I successfully talked Charlie and Sue into allowing us to move to Seattle. It was a hard sell at first, but when Charlie learned I would be far enough out of town, but not too far away from him to visit, he slowly agreed.

When Charlie offered to pay me the same amount of money he had been paying in child support to Renee, I tried to turn him down at first. The only problem with that plan was that moving to Seattle would cost money and not having a job, being pregnant, and no significant other to help, I had to do something. So, I reluctantly agreed.

Two days after my graduation, Charlie, Leah, Sue and I headed to Seattle where we found us a nice little apartment. Both parents helped Leah and I set up our apartment, provided us with a car, and even helped me to get everything I needed for when the baby arrived. Leah quickly found a job at a restaurant a block from our apartment within a couple of days.

During the days, while Leah worked, I headed out and signed up for every form of public assistance I could get. I went to churches and different places where they provided me with information and ways to help me provide. I didn't like having to do these things to get by, but I didn't except Charlie to cover everything either.

During the months before the baby was due, Sue trained a new girl to take her spot. I begged her not to do it, she needed her job, but she assured me that it was time for her to help the community in a different way. She planned to stay with us from August to the end of October, to help me settle into motherhood; she never wanted me to be home by myself. The sad thing about it, she cared more about me than my own mother did.

By the time September rolled around, I was huge. I put on at least forty pounds that I didn't know how in the hell I was ever going to work off again. Apparently, sitting around the apartment the last couple of months really packed the pounds on my body. By the time my due date came and went, I was ready to scream. I wanted this kid out of me. It was bad enough waiting the nine months it took to get to that point, but when I was two days passed my due date, I was ready for anything.

Sue was getting impatient too and Charlie called every day checking to make sure I hadn't gone into labor yet. Both Leah and Sue had me doing all kinds of crazy things to bring my labor on. I walked around the mall for hours, but nothing. Climbed the stairs at our apartment, still nothing; I ate pineapples and spicy foods, nothing. They even went as far as making me take a warm relaxing bath and then proceeded to rub every pressure point on my body. All that resulted in for me was the best nap of my pregnancy. One of the old wives tale remedies to induce labor was to drink Castor oil, which totally backfired on them. All it caused was massive diarrhea and a sore asshole; to say the leas, I wasn't a happy pregnant woman after they slipped a little into my drink. Like I needed more things sore or raw before I went into labor. The last straw in the old wives tales was personal and one I didn't want to answer or do.

"When's the last time you had sex?" Sue asked at dinner, ten days passed my due date.

I blushed twenty shades of red. There was no way I would be able to tell Sue.

"Come on Bella, I know you had sex … you're pregnant," Sue said, smiling broadly at me.

"Nine months ago," I whispered.

"Wow!" Leah exclaimed. I shot her a dirty look. She knew everything about Edward and my time on the road. When she would talk about me hooking up with guys from her work, I quickly shot her down. I wasn't interested in anybody; my heart still hadn't completely healed yet.

I wasn't paying any attention to Sue or what she was doing.

"Here," she said getting my attention. In front of me was a nicely wrapped present.

"Use this," she said smiling and left the table.

Leah leaned closer to me, "If I was you … I would open that in the privacy of your room." Leah left the table laughing and I couldn't imagine what was inside.

I finished my dinner, picking up my plates and the package. I washed my dishes and retired to my room for the evening, curious to see what she could have gotten for me that I didn't already have.

Sitting on the side of my bed, I slowly unwrapped the present, gasping as the contents inside was revealed to me. Immediately, I dropped the box to the floor. I sat for a good hour staring at the offending object on my floor. How could she think I needed something like that?

Staring at the unwanted present, I hoped it would magically disappear. I couldn't seem to stop looking at it. Giving up on hoping the floor would swallow it whole, I reached into the floor picking up the offending package.

I held the box in my hand for a few minutes, pulling the rest of the wrapping off it. I gently tore the paper. I also took my time with presents because I didn't get them that often. Noticing some writing on the inside of the wrapping paper, I smoothed it out and exposed the words written inside.

I couldn't say this to you without us both being uncomfortable. So here goes nothing… sex and nipple stimulation often times makes women go into labor. If you were a pregnant woman in the tribe, one of the leaders would speak to your husband if you were overdue. Or, one of the women in the tribe would pull you aside when nothing else worked.

Please DO NOT let your father find this or let him know I gave this to you. He would have a fit, but it's either this or a random stranger. And, a random stranger is out of the question because you are not a random stranger kind of girl.

Let your instincts take over and it will work.

Love,

Sue

I toyed with the box and its contents for another hour or so. I mean, what would really be the difference between what Edward had and what was now sitting in the box in front of me. Pulling the edges back from the box, I pulled the long plastic form from it's box. Looking it over, I notice little details about it that looked similar to the one Edward had attached to his body. I wouldn't call it an exact replica, but it was close enough.

"Here goes nothing," I whispered to myself as I pulled my panties from my legs. I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes. I had never done anything like this before with something like this. I was a teenage and knew how to pleasure myself with my finger, but using something like this was going to be unusual to me.

Slowly, I slid the head of the silicone appendage between my legs. Closing my eyes, I imagined it was Edward and his body was rubbing against mine. He had done that once when we were together, and now just thinking of him doing it turned me on.

I gently eased the toy into my opening, winching a little as I pushed it into my body. Edward was my first, and even if we had only had sex a handful of times, I'm sure things down there had changed in the last months.

Once the substitute was positioned within my core, I smoothly pushed it in and out of my body. It wasn't long before the visions of Edward's hands and lips on my body sent me over the edge.

I laid in a mess; wetness surrounded me, but I couldn't move. Placing my hands on my chest, I tried to calm down my racing heart. It was in an instant that guilt washed over me, and I wished I hadn't messed with that present. I quickly removed the offending package, and wattled into the bathroom. I cleaned myself up and headed back to bed, crawling into the covers and pulling the long body pillow between my legs and belly. I needed something to support my belly during the night and Sue suggested a body pillow; it was a Godsend.

~AASS~

I woke up at three in the morning, hurting in my lower back. Actually, it felt like someone was ripping me a part. I cried out as another pain shot through my body. I started to climb out of bed when I noticed the wetness between my legs and on my covers. I knew it wasn't from my adventures in self exploration earlier in the night. But I couldn't focus on the bed as a pain shot through my lower back, causing me to double over in pain.

Sue and Leah both came crashing through my door.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Leah asked, looking scared to death.

"Is it time?" Sue questioned, at the same time looking over at the bed. She smiled and hurried around the room grabbing my things and instructing Leah on what to do. I stood amongst the chaos as both women swirled around me in a hurry. Sue would throw clothes in my direction, telling me to put them on, but there was no way I was going to be able to sit down in my condition.

Once everything was together, Sue and Leah led me out to the car. I never changed my clothes because of the contractions. I was barely getting any relief before another one would come along and have me wanting to squat to my knees, like the cotton worker in the South. If only I could drop my baby right here in my room, things would be a lot better. I actually begged Sue to let me do something to try and relieve the pressure building in my crotch, but she adamantly refused.

Gibson Patrick Swan finally graced us with his presence after I laid in labor for twelve hours. He weighed seven pounds and five ounces and was twenty inches long. He was perfect! I couldn't help the emotions that consumed me.

Charlie was a proud grandpa too. He couldn't resist the charms of Gibson, holding him instantly once he walked through the doors of my room.

~AASS~

1985

After Gibson's birth, I picked up everything I could that had Edward's face plastered on the front of it. I had every button they ever made with his face on them. They were attached to my blue jean jacket that I couldn't fit any longer, hanging at the back of my closet. I bought every Tiger Beat magazine that I saw with his face. I knew that one day I would have to tell Gibson who his father was and I wanted everything I could get my hands on.

I had bought his first album the day I found out I was pregnant with Gib. The music was rather loud, and something I could never see the Edward Cullen I knew doing. But, things were changing and more groups seemed to be pulling away from the root-y feel. Now, it seemed like everything was headed toward Glam Rock or Heavy Metal. It took a lot of getting used to over the years.

I confided in Leah along time ago, not to long after we moved into our apartment telling her about my time on the road with Midnight Riders, and how Edward Cullen was the man who stole my heart. She didn't believe me at first, but when I pulled out the pictures of the two of us together, she finally believed. She helped me in my quest to have everything that had something to do with him. If she saw a cassette … she bought it. If she saw a poster … it found it's way home. She was the closest thing I had to a best friend since I left Alice and Rose in New York.

I thought about my time on the road often, and wished things had been different, but if it had been, I couldn't say whether or not I would be blessed with Gibson. He was everything to me.

On Gibson's third birthday, Charlie and Sue came to Seattle where they took him with them. It was a way for them to spend time with him and a way of giving me a much needed break.

Every time his show came into Seattle, something always prevented me from going. I never had the money for one thing with trying to take care of a child, while attending college. It was a very difficult task. Leah, Charlie, and Sue helped all they could, but I had to do better for Gib.

When Leah marched into the apartment in July, screaming that he was coming, I didn't catch on at first, and wondered what in the hell she was talking about. Neither of us had boyfriends at the time, and I couldn't figure what she was yelling about.

"He's coming to Seattle, Bella," she hollered, while hanging her jacket on the hook at the door.

"Who?" I asked.

"You know who," she said, while raising her eyebrows and acting all strange. It wasn't until she looked down at Gib that I understood who she was referring to.

"Oh … Oooohh," I said, running twenty different scenarios in my mind and how I was going to manage my money to get those tickets.

"We'll talk later," Leah mouthed. I nodded in agreement.

It wasn't that I was trying to keep Gib from knowing who is father was. I just didn't know how to explain it to my almost three year old. Gib was smart as a tack too; he picked up information like it wasn't anything. It always baffled me how quickly he would learn. Leah and I worked every night with him. Hell, by the time that boy started Kindergarten, he would already be leaps and bounds ahead of the others.

Once Gib was in bed and sound asleep, Leah and I devised our plan on how to get tickets. She talked about working overtime at the restaurant, and I tried to protest, but she wouldn't have it.

So, here we were … the night of the concert. My nerves were running away with me, as I got ready for the show. It had been years since the last time I was at a concert and years since I had seen Edward up close. But this time I wasn't going to be backstage with the band. I didn't know how to feel about that, but it was just exciting getting the chance to go.

I was excited because this was the first time since having Gibson that I was able to squeeze my ass into a pair of Jordache jeans, size five. After lying down on the bed, I used a fork to pull the zipper up after getting my jeans on I stood and examined my ass in the mirror. Little things about my body had changed after having a child and one of those things was that my hips became a little rounder and softer. I also noticed that because I was breast feeding that even my breasts had increased a size or two and I loved the way I looked in my clothes, now.

"Stop looking at your ass," Leah said, entering my room.

"I can't … everything about my body has changed and I love the way I look for once in my life. I was never stick thin, but these curves," I said sticking my ass out in different poses.

"Make me feel more like a woman and less like a little girl," I said, striking my best pose and sticking my tongue out at her. In true Leah fashion, she flipped me off.

"Are you about ready?" she asked.

"Almost," I replied, picking up my shirt and pulling it over my head. I ran into the bathroom where I pulled my hair out of a towel and dried, fluffed, and teased my natural waves into the biggest hairdo know it man. I pulled out my trusty can of Aqua Net and spray about half a can on my head, so my hair would hold through the night. Leah walked into the bathroom behind me coughing and waved her hand in front of her.

"Good God, Bella … do you have to use it all?" she complained.

"Hey … you shouldn't have walked into the line of fire," I replied, sticking my tongue out at her. Within minutes, Leah and I were on the road.

The coliseum wasn't too far from our apartment, making the trip a short one. However, the parking lot was crowded and it took us about forty minutes just to find a spot.

Once seated, we waited for the show to start and I couldn't wait to see him once again. I didn't tell Leah, but I bet she knew that I secretly hoped he would see me out in the crowd. However, I knew the odds of that happening were slim because Leah and I couldn't afford the seats in the front closer to the stage. No, we had the nosebleed seats way up in the rafters. So, the odds of him seeing me out in the sea of people were slim to practically none. Nevertheless, I hoped that fate would intervene and once again, I would be reunited with the man who stole my heart and soul.

As the lights lowered and the opening acted started to play, I closed my eyes and thought about the many times I had stood backstage watching the boys play. It wasn't long before I was lost in the rifts of the guitars and the beats of the drums as the singer lulled me deeper and deeper into a time when things were less complicated and so much easier. My life had changed drastically from those months on the road, and the freedoms of responsibilities were refreshing. Now, life wasn't so liberating. Gib took up the majority of my time and responsibilities increased tenfold with having him in my life.

The opening act finished after a couple of songs, and the crowd started going crazy as they announced Edward. It was almost like Elvis had walked out on stage. It was mesmerizing and totally awesome; better than any entrance the Midnight Riders had ever done.

I opened my eyes and watched as his crazy bronze hair entered the spotlight. His hair was so much longer and teased to the hilt. I watched as he strapped on his Gibson Les Paul. He loved Gibson guitars … never cared much for the Fenders or any of the others they tried to get him to use. Gibson was his brand of choice and the reason our son carried that name. It was another way for me to somehow have him in my life.

He strummed the first chord of 'Gypsy Woman'; I loved this song. I often listened to the words of the song when I was alone in my room at night. I closed my eyes and drifted back in time again as his voice caused my body to quiver and my heart to break all over again. A single tear slide down my cheek, as I watched him from a distance. I wondered what he was doing now. Has his life changed? Was he still married to Kate? Was he still messing with drugs?

With the last thoughts drifting through my mind, I opened my eyes and really tried to focus hard on his body language. I needed to determine whether or not he looked to be drunk or under the influence of drugs. But, there wasn't anything that called my attention to him being intoxicated. My heart began to race with hope and my mind wondered if there was some way I could get myself backstage. If he was truly clean, I would tell him about Gib, and see how things went. My hands began to steadily shake from those thoughts. I wouldn't allow him in his life at all if nothing had changed, but I wouldn't know if I never spoke to him.

"Come on," I said to Leah, grabbing her by her hand and dragging her through the crowd. I was a woman on a mission to find out if he had read the words about him getting help so long ago.

Once I was on the floor in front of the stage, I pushed and shoved women out of my fucking way. I was secretly hoping that one of the bouncers had been on tour with Midnight Riders. If it was, maybe they would recognize me and allow me backstage without any fusing.

Edward was announcing his last song of the concert, and I still wasn't anywhere near the stage, but I was getting closer by the moment. Leah pushed me aside and started pushing her way through the crowd, getting further than I ever dreamed. Once in front of the stage on the left, I noticed several men standing and talking to girls who then would be let through the gate. I pointed them out to Leah, and she shoved and pushed her way there. When we stood in front of the bouncer, he wasn't someone I had known.

"Backstage Pass," he asked.

"I don't have one, but I would love to meet him," Leah said, pointing towards the stage.

"They all do …" the bouncer sneered looking her up and down "… not tonight ladies."

"Oh, come on," I huffed.

"Look, Mr. Cullen hand picks the women he takes back there. And, so far neither one of you have been selected, so back up before I have you arrested."

"How in the hell can he make a selection in the dark?" Leah quipped.

"That's for me to know. Now, move along ladies, better luck next time." He smiled, folding his arms across his chest. Meanwhile, I died a little more inside. Maybe Edward hadn't changed his ways. I stepped away from the bouncer and Leah as they argued some more.

Watching the man on stage broke my heart in two. Knowing I would never get passed the gates to ever see him again. Edward thanked everyone and exited the stage on the right and far away from me. I slinked back into the shadows of my new existence, and headed home to the things that were more important to me now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, we have seen Bella/Izzy grow into a mother and still yearn for the man she once loved. However, by the end of this chapter, she realizes there will never be another opportunity to come in contact with Edward this way any longer. What had once worked years ago, doesn't work now. Will Bella find another way to reconnect with Edward or will she finally move forward with her life? Stay tuned because this story is about to end. 'One Hit Wonder' will pick up with Bella and Gib in the future. One more chapter and we should be bridging into the sequel.


	18. Simple Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter – Simple Man (Original Version) lyrics by Lynyrd Skynyrd © Universal Music Publishing Group
> 
> Thanks for dannibags for suggesting this story for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before it's début.
> 
> Things are going to take a terrible turn for Edward during this chapter. Please be aware that drug addiction and problems have always haunted him and remember the last time we heard from Edward, he had taken some of Billy's meds and was passed out on Jake's couch.

Chapter 15

Simple Man

Jake's POV

To say I was shocked to see Edward Cullen in front of the Riot House was an understatement. I knew there were probably times he was there, but I never had given it much thought. I had seen his face on different magazines. A couple of years ago, the Music Television Channel came on the TV and sometimes I would hear one of his songs on there. I used to wonder what happened to everyone.

After the fated airplane flight that scared the shit out of me, I stopped touring with bands. Never again would you find my ass on a plane. Hell, some of rock's greatest died in plane crashes, and I didn't want to be one of them.

I came back home with money in my pockets and enough to get things moving in the right direction for my family. I started thinking about my time on the road and started penning my own version of events. It was truly amazing the things I had seen and heard along the way.

My sisters and father thought I was crazy when I submitted my words to a couple of magazines. However, no one seemed interested. It wasn't until one of the copy editors, from a magazine I had sent a sample of my work to, contacted me. She said that people would love to read about the things I had seen and done. She quickly pointed me in the right direction and before long, I had a published a book of stories.

When the book sold fairly well, I started watching more and more of the bands rolling in and out of the Sunset Strip and it wasn't long before I started keeping a rather lengthy history. I watched as glam rock had taken over and groups like Poison and Guns N Roses pulled into town. I followed and wrote stories, talked to band members, and played the unofficial historian.

No matter how many times I watched Rock Stars do stupid things and almost die, there wasn't anything compared to the night I found Edward Cullen out cold on my sofa.

I had always been a light sleeper. I guess those few months on the road and the guys always pulling some kind of practical joke on me, I tended to sleep with one eye open. When I heard the medicine cabinet open in the bathroom right beside my room, I figured it was dad with another spasm in his legs. However, when I didn't hear his chair hit the wall like it always did, I began to wonder who was in the bathroom. When I heard Rebecca cough, I figured it was her up and didn't go investigate; I drifted back to sleep.

I was startled awake by the sounds of my sister screaming. I jumped up, straddle the bed, and ran to where the noise from coming from. When I entered the living room, Rachel was knelt down beside Edward, who was now lying on the floor.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, wondering who had screamed and why. Edward moaned as Rebecca came out of the kitchen with a glass of water in her hand. She knelt down next to Edward, lifting his head trying to get him to drink, but he wouldn't. He looked her dead in the eye, "I'm so sorry, Izzy. I never meant to hurt you," he whispered before he closed his eyes. Rebecca eased his head back down to the pillow. Rachel stood up and motioned me to the other side of the living room as Rebecca rubbed soothing circles on Edward's hand.

"He's been hallucinating the last couple of minutes, and thinks that Rebecca is someone named Izzy. Rebecca screamed when he fell off the couch. I tried to wake him enough to get back on the couch, but we can't get him up. So, I pulled the pillow off the couch and found these," she said handing me Billy's sleeping pills.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath, knowing that Edward had already had too much in his system.

It was then I saw Edward's body start to shake. I jumped into action. I didn't know how long ago it had been since he had taken those pills, but I knew that they needed to be out of his system. I tried to pick him up, but I couldn't. I grabbed the trashcan and brought it over to Edward. Once he stopped convulsing, I planned on trying to get him to throw up the contents in his stomach. Rebecca made sure to keep him from swallowing his tongue. I could see the panic in both of the girls' eyes as we waited for him to stop. I watched the clock hoping it would be soon.

"We have to call someone," Rachel screamed.

"I know," I said, pulling at my hair. When I had went through something like this with Izzy, I panicked more, but I figured maybe he would snap out of it. I mean, he was a rock star and was used to having lots of stuff in his system.

Rachel didn't wait for me to make up my mind and rushed toward the phone in the kitchen. I overheard her frantically telling the ambulance workers everything she knew about Edward and what he had taken during the night.

It seemed like hours before they came rushing into the house. Edward never stopped shaking all over. Once he was loading onto the stretcher, he stopped breathing altogether. Both Rebecca and Rachel buried their heads in my chest as the paramedics tried to save him.

~AASS~

EPOV

Slowly opening my eyes, I blinked them several times to erase the film that seemed to be in front of them. I tried to move my hands to wipe the film away, but found that I couldn't move them. Pulling at the restrains, I tried to set myself free. I couldn't believe that Jake would do something to me. Leave it to him to pay me back for all the practical jokes that were played on him during the old days on road.

Blinking my eyes again, they finally cleared and I looked around the room. "Shit!" I tried to speak, swallowing against the tube that seemed to be down my throat. "Fuck," I thought. What exactly happened last night?

I tried to focus my thoughts back to what could have possibly happened at Jake's that had landed my ass here, but I couldn't figure out anything. I remembered stumbling into Jake bathroom and finding sleeping pills, but I couldn't remember taking them.

"I see you finally woke up for us," said a young woman who walked over to my bed. I nodded.

"Give me just a moment and we will get that tube out," she said, patting my hand. After the words came out of her mouth, a man walked behind her. My brain was still having trouble getting rid of the fog that clouded my mind. The man instructed me several times on what to do. I tried with everything in me to help him as much as I could. Once the tube was removed, so were the restraints.

"Mr. Cullen," the man said, looking over my chart. I looked up at him and waited for him to speak.

"Do you know what day it is?" he asked, while writing notes on the chart.

"No, not really," I replied because days had been something of a blur prior to seeing Jake, but I also felt like it was Friday night when I spotted him walking passed the Riot House.

"Today is Sunday. You were brought into the hospital three days ago. Do you remember what happened to land you in the hospital?" he asked, still scratching away with his pen.

"No," I replied again because I couldn't remember the exact circumstances around me being here.

"Mr. Cullen, you apparently took a large dose of Halcion. Your heart stopped beating and if it wasn't for Miss Rachel Black, I don't know if you would still be alive at this point."

The fucking sleeping pills! I had apparently taken more than I intended, but I didn't really care anymore. It wasn't like I was doing anything on purpose, but maybe they should have let me die.

"It is my medical advice that you seek help, Mr. Cullen. Your mucous membranes have been compromised and given the history of at least one stent in rehab, combined with the fact you came to us having taken more than legal prescribed to a patient, not yourself, I would suggest checking yourself back into rehab."

"I don't think so," I quipped.

"You don't have to follow my advice Mr. Cullen, but know this … next time you might not be so lucky," he said, raising his eyebrow trying to prove his point, but I didn't see the point. He wrote down a few more things in my chart before he turned and walked out the door.

"When can I get out of here?" I asked the nurse who was cleaning up things around my room.

"I will find out and let you know," she said winking at me and leaving me to my own devices.

Once she was gone, I tried to get out of the bed, but everything in my damn body ached. So, I gave up. So much for going to the bathroom, I thought and reached for the urinal hanging on the side of my bed.

After relieving my full bladder, I turned on the TV and watched the A-Team. It wasn't long after the show went off that I got lost in my mind wondering if my parents knew what I was doing. I thought about the different things my mother had tried to tell me in the past couple of years.

She always told me how one should behave in order for life to work. Hell, she told me that all my life. I never wanted to listen to her and never wanted her to run my life. Too bad it wasn't until this moment that I understood the meaning behind her words.

"Take your time and not live to fast." I never understood at a young age, but she would repeat these words to me often through my teens. I figured she was only saying those things to keep me from doing what I wanted. However, I never took the time to truly analyze the situation. I always did what I wanted with my mother's warning in my ears. I did exactly what she said not to because fast living was exactly what I had been doing since I left Forks, all those years ago. The women, booze, yak, and the pills were always there to make my life so much easier; to make me happier, more sociable, and more of something I only found once in my life.

"Troubles will come and they will pass." But, they never passed when I wanted them to. This was another thing she would tell me along the way, but in my stubborn youth, I would look for ways to solve and only make them worse. Funny how some of my troubles only passed when I had enough drugs in my system. Numbing my brain was my idea of dealing with them. Never dealing with people or problems has led to a lot of my antisocial tendencies, and why I could never fully overcome my stage fright.

"Love would come, once I found that special someone." Maggie Rosenberg broke my heart in the seventh grade. I had loved Maggie from a distance for years, and then she kissed Paul Rogers, I thought I was going to die. She never saw me the way I saw her. I tried to find that love with Kate. Hell, it was a drunken mistake to even consider marrying her. Mom knew that and told me I would never find it with her when she found out we were married.

I was always taught to believe in God. My parents took me to church. I never forgot those value, just pushed them down to do what I wanted. However, I knew that if I couldn't talk to someone about my life that I could close my eyes and pray to the man upstairs. He would always love and understand me better than anyone else.

Closing my eyes and praying, thanking God for giving me life and saving mine in the last couple of days. I begged for forgiveness for my sins and promised to try harder, but I needed him to give me the strength to make it through. I knew I was doing wrong and had ruined my career. I had nothing left, no home, no Izzy, no friends … nothing. I was all alone. Tears streamed down my face as I laid my life out to God, and begged for a second chance at making things better.

I opened my eyes when I heard the door to my room squeak in protest of being open, and watched my mother and father step into my room. Mom looked like hell, her hair was all over her head and her eyes were swollen and red. Dad wasn't fairing much better; his eyes were red rimmed. He appeared to be out of sorts, too.

"Oh My God, you're alive," Mom exclaimed and rushed toward my bed, grabbing me up and squeezing the ever loving shit out of me.

"Thank you," Dad whispered, casting his eyes above his head.

~AASS~

The doctor, who I had seen when I first woke, made me stay two more days. I wasn't exactly happy about it when the nurse told me, but when the withdrawals started, I was happy to stay. Mom and Dad never left my side and even though I knew Dad was missing days of work to be with me, he never complained. Mom on the other hand was driving me totally nuts. She waited on me hand and fucking foot. I appreciated it, I really did, but she was becoming annoying. Not to mention the fact that I was already annoyed by not having something to calm me down anyways, just made her constant mothering much more than I was ready to handle.

When the doctor arrived today and told me once again that I needed to check myself into rehab, I tried to blow him off again. I had tried rehab once before and it didn't last. This time, I would go cold turkey and do it by myself. When the doctor lost the battle with me, he left, wishing me luck. It was then that Mom and Dad started.

"Forget your lust for the rich man's gold, Edward," Mom said. I raised my eyebrow, not understanding her meaning to those words.

"Forget chasing your rock dream, son. It's time to lick your wounds and come home," Dad said, understanding exactly Mom's meaning. I looked out the window of my room not really wanting to acknowledge their words.

"We're not saying you can't ever be a musician, honey. But, something has changed about you in the last couple of years. You've lost your soul and I know if you go to rehab and find yourself once again, you will be satisfied." Mom stroked my hand, making me look at her. "You have to come back to us. You've hit rock bottom and have nothing. Go to rehab … find your soul, find out what is important, and come back to us renewed."

"I don't know how," I said, refusing to look at her and instead focusing on a piece of thread I have nervously pulled from my blanket.

She sighed and reached over to my chest, tapping where my heart was, "Follow your heart and nothing else. I know you can do this, but only if you try. All we've ever wanted for you, my son, is to be satisfied. Please for us, make your life right. Find that special someone you lost and fix you, please," Mom said, as tears poured down her cheeks.

I was never one to handle when a woman cried and specifically the woman who brought me in this world. I hated breaking her heart and making her worry all the time.

"We'll go get lunch while you think about things," Dad said, pulling Mom to his side, but before she left, she kissed me on the top of my head. I nodded and watched as the both of them left the room. I set about getting all of the things I had gotten while in the hospital. I pulled the shitty gown off that showed my ass every time I stood and slipped into my jeans.

Once my clothes were on, I stood and looked out the window, thinking about my options. It was either do the rehab like my parents wanted, or go back to living on the streets of Sunset Strip. At least rehab would keep me straight for a while, but the streets of LA could be brutal.

I didn't having anything else to do; it wasn't like anyone wanted to work with me. So, finding a job would be harder than hell here. Actually, I would probably have better luck going back to Forks and working at the saw mill. Just like Kate had wanted me to do all those years ago. That's when I thought about Izzy again.

Maybe this time, I could make it work and really find out where she had been hiding all these years.

When my parents walked back into my room, I told them I would do the rehab and promised that once it was over, I would head back to Forks for awhile to make sure my sobriety wasn't challenged. LA wouldn't be the best place for me to stay, once I was fresh off the farm because eventually, I would meet up with the same people and become involved all over again. I walked out of the hospital and straight through the doors of the Betty Ford Clinic.

The End

One Hit Wonder

Chapter 1

Against the Wind

EPOV

It seems like yesterday, but it was so long ago. Izzy was so beautiful, and the queen of my nights. She was with me during my darkness as we played along the road. We shared our secrets and she moved something inside of me, which I was too stupid to realize at the time. We burned like wildfire, out of control, but then there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to do.

I remember what she said to me; how she knew I would break her heart. What she didn't know then was I was going to also break mine. God, I can remember how she held me oh so tight. Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

The past couple of years, I've been running against the wind. The years have rolled slowly past and I've found myself alone. My parents do all they can to help me, but it's not an easy life I was used to during my heyday. Everyone I thought were my friends, turned out to be strangers in the end. No one cared or even bothered to check on me while I was in rehab. And, I found myself pulling further and further from who I was. I'd lost my way so long ago, and worked through rehab. After my first stent in rehab, it took a year before I fell off the wagon. And, when I almost died at Jake's … believe it or not I fell off the wagon once more after that. There were so many roads to go down, temptations everywhere, and being alone didn't help my mind when the temptations came calling.

At one point in my life, I lived to be in band. And being a singer, I never worried about paying or even how much I owed to anyone. For once in my life, it was refreshing to not be moving eight miles a minute for months at a time. I broke all the rules and searched for Izzy again and again.

After my third stay in rehab, I finally gave up those drifter days of looking for ways to make me feel like someone. Now, I have too much to think about. I have too many deadlines and commitments, driving me against the wind. I currently work for Wolves Record Label, where I compose songs and work on jingles for commercials and movies. And every day I have to decide if I want the drugs or to leave them alone. I'm older now, but still running against the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All right … AASS is officially over. I know what everyone is thinking … no HEA. This story was always going to end with Edward having almost died once Izzy was gone. The sequel … One Hit Wonder will pick up a couple of years down the road. I do love a good HEA and generally write them, but I wanted to have a little change. But, follow through to the sequel and I promise you won't be disappointed. Thanks to all the reviews and comments no matter how crazy!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: All right guys we have followed Edward and the band on their little adventure into this rock world I have created. The whiskey does exist and was the start of a lot of bands in the eights. Hence, the title 'Down at the Whiskey' a song written and performed by Motley Crue that talks about their time spent down at the whiskey. The next chapter we will meet our Bella, but she won't use the name Bella. Remember, this story will update on the second week of the month, if that schedule changes I want to make sure you will get your updates. I will also make notes at the beginning or A/N at the end to let you know. So, please before you go hit the follow button. ~Thanks.


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